My Ex & I are both happily married but we might be in trouble.?

Question

My Ex & I started seeing each other when we were younger and we were both involved with a bf/gf at the time. We continued our relationship and had the greatest time together. He eventually left to go to college and we lost touch for some reason. We recently got in touch with each other and both say that we're the happiest we've ever been with our husband/wife. However, the more we talked we realized that we are both willing to see each other again . He had asked me if I could meet him but I said no (we live in different cities). But we talked on the phone and practically had phone sex. We are both very open sexually with each other and still think about each other that way. I love my husband and so does he with his wife, but why is this happening? I find myself thinking about him all the time.

Yes, we both acknowledged that there was no closure to our relationship and he thought we would have that if we saw each other one more time, but I said that it might be harder to walk away after that. We both know that it would be very dangerous for us to be in the same city, much less same room together.

Answer 1

You need to "nip this in the bud", or you're going to break up two families......Stop it, before it starts. "An ounce of prevention, is worth a pound of cure!"

Answer 2

You said that you both are happily married. If you are happily married you are not going to have phone sex with an ex. Thinking about him all the time is because you still have feelings for this person. It seems that you settle when you both got married. You need to end the conversations that you are having and let him know that things are getting out of control before you two take it to the next level. If that happens you have to think of how the others that are involved will be hurt. They are probably unaware of the two of you talking on the phone so frequently. Take a step back and decide: is he worth loosing your marriage over? Because it is cheating no matter how you look at it.

Answer 3

You've opened a door that you should have decided a LONG time ago when you married to never, EVER open.

This is why when you're married, you make vows, you close yourself off to any communication or contact with the opposite sex when it's a one on one basis because there's always room for temptation. Now you know, that this is possible because you've been caught in it.

You're missing something in your marriage, since you've only talked to this guy, I'm guessing you're not having a good open and communicative relationship with your husband and you've been silently suffering, otherwise...this would have never happened.

Stop it. Just end it. Don't call back don't do anything. What you're doing is wrong and shouldn't have ever had the chance of happening.

Talk to your husband and really build your bond with him. If you have to, tell your husband what has happened, he's what you've got for sure right now.

I hope you make the right decision for you and your family.

Answer 4

SOMETIMES when things end like your relationship with him, there was actually no fight and no hate so there were still good feelings between you both. Even though you both have moved on you have reopened that chapter in your life that was a good thing. Now what you need to do is figure out if its just that you are curious or do you still love him. I don't think that you will have any way of deciding unless you actually see him. I know this sounds wrong but you will always wonder if you don't. You may see him and find out that it was just that you missed an old friend. good luck

Answer 5

You two are completely forgetting about two innocent people who deserve to have THEIR feelings considered! You are both married. Almost everyone who is married still has memories about a person from the past and would still find them attractive even now, but you don't ACT on it. You are married. You made your choices, and you said you are happy. You are going to fool around and ruin everything for 4 people and set up a domino effect of pain for the families on both sides. Get your emotions and hormones in line and be faithful.

Answer 6

You need to cut the communications between you and your ex. It's either stop with the ex, or stop with the husband. Right now, I would consider your actions as cheating. You haven't physicall had sex with your ex maybe, but you're definitely sharing an emotional bond with him that I guarantee your husband would not find as innocent.
Ask yourself this, "What would I do if my husband was talking to an ex like this right now?" Think that to yourself every time you talk to your ex. You need to drop this lust relationship and put your heart back into your marriage. If you're not happy in your marriage, then let your husband know so he doesn't spend the rest of his life pouring his heart into his marriage for not.

Answer 7

You and your friend both should go your seperate ways and leave the friendship as a memory. If you meet up with him, most likely something will happen. You too should decide not to speak to eachother if you wan't to stay married to your own husband. or atleast don't talk untill you both no longer have sexual feelings for eachother. In God's eyes you have already commited adultry because you have sexual desires in your heart for another man

Answer 8

I understand you completely...I had a bf and he moved to a different country...I got married with my actual husband but I still talked to my ex because he called me everytime he came to my country....It was very painful because WE women have a flaw, eventhough we dont want to, we always get EMOTIONALLY involved....Even if you have a good relationship with your husband, there will always be feelings of guilt that will take you to feel uncomfortable with your actual relation....You'll start wondering what would it be like and you won't be happy until you figure it out....You could do what I did....Keep your talking with your ex at minimum, and try to do whatever you like from your ex, do it with your husband.....For example, phone sex with your husband, you could even change the way you make sex with you husband using your fantasies of your ex....Remeber, you lost touch for a reason and if he thought that his studies came first, you'll see a pretty good reason of what would it be like.....Those men never change....Trust me...

Answer 9

Its understandable, you have history but it could be that you miss the days of youth too. The carefree days. Now your both married and things have settled down. I think you really need to stop and think. Yes, you COULD get back with him but you would hurt alot of people in the process. Things can never go back to how they were. Look ahead, you love your husband, things have changed. I think you owe it to your husband to stick with your marriage and forget about your ex. Good luck.

Answer 10

YOu are both flirting with the dark side. Your married, hes married, if you care for each other at all, respect each others families. Stop this affair right now. It will never be anything, but hurtful to both of you. Say Goodby and don't look back.

Answer 11

U both call this happily married. Obviously you are not. Or you are just getting kick in doing this. Phone sex is cheating,you both are getting turned on by another individual's voice and vulgar sex language.

Both of you ask yourself " would you want your spouse doing this on the side". If no, Stop cheating on your spouses.

If you cant stop, leave your spouse. He/she deserves better than what you are doing.