They were very happy and stayed together until he died earlier this year. While I don't justify older men with young girls, I think that in that situation it's not right to say he was a pervert because they were happy for so long. It's still common in a lot Latin countries for men to fall in love and start a family with a teenage girl and sometimes the parents approve if he is a good friend and a good man. What is your take one that?
2007-01-26 12:39:30 · 23 answers · asked by AL IS ON VACATION AND HAS NO PIC 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I meant to say ON not ONE. Sorry.
2007-01-26 12:40:30 · update #1
I think that what you are saying is very cool and people should respect love no matter the age or religion,or race,because what really matters is the feeling of love
2007-01-26 12:45:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even in this country, girls were considered old maids if not married by 14 or 15. Very often farmers and ranchers married these younger women so they could produce many children, which would later run the farm or ranch..... The more advanced our country became with equipment and all, and as the urban areas grew, relying less on farming as a way of life, the more morally concerned our law makers became. Not that the 2 are connected that closely. You could just see the things change at about the same pace. My grandmother was married in 1898 at the age of 13. He was 27. They remained married until my grandfather died 52 yrs later. The only thing that makes a man a pervert if he is pursuing a girl of 13 today, is the law.... but as little as 100 yrs ago it was perfectly ok. I am not advocating the legalization of it.....but it does shed a lot of light on the subject. And of course the law is the law. I can't help believe that the christian based religions of this country became the moral barometer on this subject as well as so many others.
2007-01-26 20:58:21 · answer #2 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like you said many years ago this was a pretty common thing in relationships. And it was not viewed as negative at all. But alas times have changed a lot in North America anyway and today this big of an age difference is viewed as very negative. Years ago many immigrants got together at various ages. Remember though that there was not the temptations of todays society and people actually paid attention to their vows. As for foreign countries continuing this tradition I am unfamiliar with it other than some places where arranged marriages are still common. And I do not know enough of these relationships to make any type of statement on them.
2007-01-26 20:47:53 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
These kind of age differences used to be common in the United States and other countries. It also used to be common that if a man died, his brother would automatically marry the widow. Things change. Think about your grandmother. At 13 did she get to experience a chance for education? Her youth? Did she even get to try other relationships to find one that made her happy? Probably not. At that time, and in that country though, her expectations may have been pretty low. To find a man who would keep food on the table while she cared for the babies may be all she expected in life. Therefore, considering that she could have done much worse, she may have defined herself as "happy". If you live life in a cage and someone offers you a banana, it may look darn good. If however, each person is going to try to fulfill their potential, to live a full and rich life, then she got a rotten deal. But lots of people throughout history have gotten rotten deals. Our grandparents did not have the options we have. Many people in less developed countries don't have these options, as well as people in this country who still define getting married, having babies, and scratching out a living as the sum total of their lives. Don't put labels on people who were living in a different time, different culture, and had different needs. Now, what potential are you (and I) going to aspire to?
2007-01-26 20:59:12 · answer #4 · answered by Caper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Randy Travis married a woman 20 years older than him. My grandparents both have a friend who had a wife who was also 20 years older. My cousin married someone 11 years older. She was 21, he was 31. And it's all been fine.
Personally, I wouldn't go any more than 10 or 11. The young men in their early 20's today just don't impress me. I tend to like my men a bit older and already in a career.
2007-01-26 21:03:53 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I don't think it was wrong. The proof was in a long , happy marriage. You can't stop love.
I started dating my husband when I was 16 & he was 29. We have been together & very happy for 28 years. People have said nasty stuff, but, you know what? We enjoy each other's company & are happy. Most of our critics have long since gotten divorced or bounce from one rocky relationship to the next.
I think it is important that the parents of the girl know the guy so they can gauge his intentions. That way they can protect their daughter from potential perverts.
2007-01-26 20:57:20 · answer #6 · answered by Shenendoah 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was 16 and my boyfriend was 28 when we started dating. That was over three years ago (I'm now 19 and he's 31). We are very happy together... we've lived together for a year now. Now I'm just waiting for him to pop the question! Most people were against our relationship in the beginning... but their opinion has really changed a lot. Everybody tells us "When I see you as a couple, I don't think- ew! 12 years difference! It's just Megan and Nick, perfect for eachother!"
My parents were against it in the beginning, but they now approve of our relationship and are very happy that I have found a guy who makes me happy and takes care of me. My parents have even commented on us getting married, and I know they are no longer against it.
My personal experience has proven to me that age does not matter. I'm so happy that I listened to my heart in the beginning instead of my judgmental peers.
2007-01-26 21:32:17 · answer #7 · answered by jonesy634 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize back then most girls were getting married and having children by 15, simply because people's health wasn't as good and they had to start early to make sure they had children in time. 13 may have been a little young, but if your grandparent's parents were okay with it, then that's all that matters at the time. Plus you said yourself that they were happy. Times change =)
2007-01-26 20:49:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think our grandparents lived in a completely different era, and it was proper for young girls to marry grown men back then. The girl's family would benefit from the man's wealth and also have one less mouth to feed in their home.
Nowadays, there's hardly any poverty in North America, so marriage at that same age is not only illegal but wrong at this time.
Society changes over time, as an effect of the economic and social factors affecting us each day.
2007-01-26 20:46:38 · answer #9 · answered by Querida 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They beat the odds against them to lead a happy life. I know there are cultural differences, so I guess it would depend on the circumstances...as long as no force is involved, then I guess it's acceptable in some cultures. I personally don't think a 13 year old is ready for marriage...both male and females need and deserve an education
2007-01-26 20:49:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, but times have changed and things that didn't matter back then do today. He's not a pervert they just have a different history together. Remeber there are laws against that...unless you move to Latin America.
2007-01-26 20:45:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋