She's been married for 11 yrs. has 2 girls and is treated like crap. She wants to leave but must find a secure and secret place to go. Where? How can I find her, and the kids a place? As well as support. She is willing to work like a dog for room and board...
2007-01-26 12:39:11 · 14 answers · asked by archeogirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Call the women shelter there is one in almost every city or town.
2007-01-26 12:44:16 · answer #1 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does she really want to leave or is she merely saying so? If she really wants to leave, she'd be looking in the phone book or checking other sources for assistance. You shouldn't be doing ALL the looking for her. And...there is information about abuse shelters everywhere: the phone book, the nearest church, the police department, the doctor's office--even on the internet.
Abuse shelters, though not ideal, are the best place to go temporarily. I went to one for about a week with three kids and survived when my marriage ended badly. Abusers cannot get in there and are totally secure. They can also help with transition housing, clothing and basic supplies, medications and with legal documents such as protective orders. They have very capable staff that will be there to help her, should she decide to leave. They can even give her tips on how to "exit, stage right."
There is a heightened awareness about spousal abuse and it is up to HER to do something, not you. You can only do so much for her. If you can find someplace for her and she won't go or stalls, then you know she doesn't want to go--yet. It is a self-esteem issue and not just an abuse issue. She does NOT have to take this treatment and you are correct about that. However, it is still HER choice as to whether she stays or goes. She needs to figure that out for herself, unfortunately.
2007-01-26 21:05:40 · answer #2 · answered by prettymomofthree2004 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to contact the police department (or you can do this on her behalf) and request the number for a Battered Womens Shelter...call the number...the counselor will arrange to meet her and take her and her children to a safe house. There is no charge for this. They offer financial assistance and legal assistance and provide food and all necessities to get the woman and her children away from the abuse and onto a stable way of life
2007-01-26 20:46:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Almost all towns of any size have a Woman's Shelter. I volunteer at the one in Charlotte, NC to help feed them on holidays. I'm sure there is one near you and that is what they do....house and feed Women and children that are, or have been, abused. It doesn't cost any money, and they help the ladies to get a job, and a permanent place to live. Call United Way in your area for the nearest location. Good Luck!!
2007-01-26 20:56:26 · answer #4 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dealing with situations such as this is best left to professionals. They have the training, the resources, and the emotional distance to really help.
Find a good battered women's shelter and take her and the kids there.
2007-01-26 21:02:57 · answer #5 · answered by Terri J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact a women's shelter immediately. They can find a home for your friend, as well as resources for your friend to get on her feet. She may also need to alert the police, as well as getting a restraining order against the spouse. You are a great friend; I hope she realizes that. Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-28 21:08:58 · answer #6 · answered by Judy W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer a room for her rent free for about 2 months at your home. . Get her into your home, get her to a police department to get a restraining order and help her get onto her feet. If you can not take her in, find some family (even if they are far away) and help her move in with them. If they live out of state, help her pack and drive with her to that state, or offer to pay for a sister or anotehr friend to fly in and help get her to a safe house.
Oh, AND DO THIS NOW. If her and her children are in immediat danger, GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND GET HER OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW. GO DO IT NOW!!!
2007-01-26 20:48:41 · answer #7 · answered by Pandora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any battered women's shelter would take her in. They would help her get settled and ready to be on her own. Not to mention get counseling for her and the girls. She's lucky to have a good friend like you.
2007-01-26 21:13:44 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go to your local police station and ask if they can help in telling you of shelters for battered wifes and/or half way houses. I dont know where you live, but most cities have shelters. thats a start.... cant find one, then bring them to my house.
2007-01-26 20:45:13 · answer #9 · answered by sushihen2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for her for wanting to get out. check out this site and it will give you all the information you need. http://www.ncadv.org. you might also look in the phone book for domestic violence shelters since many have safe houses where they provide support for battered wives.
2007-01-26 20:46:08 · answer #10 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋