Is my husband cheating???

Question

We have been married 6 years Valentines Day and have never kept any secret. I have a friend and I had a gut feeling she like my husband. I told him about it and when they are around me they do not speak to each other, other than hello. She was here today and I just so happened to open the cell phone bill because I was bored, I NEVER look at the cell phone bill just pay it. They used to talk often because her husband is deployed and he cheated on her. That I know of but I did not know to what extent. I trust my husband (at least I did) but when I asked him about the bill, texting her and calling her at work, home, and cell all the time he paid me no mind and acted like I was crazy. So I started digging and in his phone I found a text from last night asking him if he can leave work to meet her (we works night shift 11pm - 8 am). When I confronted both of them they gave me the same answer "Maybe it was sent to the wrong number" I don't believe that

As always they both are saying nothing happened but I asked my husband why didn't he tell me she sent that and he said why did I need to know.

After 4 kids together it would be hard to face and swallow.

Answer 1

Yes he is cheating, you have the evidence that they are intouch way more then any "friends"should be and they are lying about it and you have the proof, what more do you need to see before your eyes are open?

Answer 2

Hon, its obvious he's cheating and its worse that they think your stupid. As much as it hurts I would cut them both loose. You have been insulted by your hubby, he obviously thought you were stupid enough to never find out, even when there was a paper trail as to how much he was calling and or texting this woman.
Your friend is even worse. This is a person who you let into your life and extended the hand of friendship.
If he is cheating now, he will continue to do so in the future. Some men stop, but, it usually takes drastic measures.
The trust that is lost takes years to rebuild if it ever does. I think your best bet is to sit them both down and tell him that you know what is going on, with the evidence in hand. Look him in the face and tell him he has 2 choices, either fess up and decide the course, or you are leaving, no questions asked. Stick to your guns. If he fesses up, then look at her and tell her she is no longer your friend, and she is not welcome to call your home, stop by or contact either of you in any way. Change his phone number. Go to counseling and try to get things back on track. If he's not willing to do this then he isn't ready to give up cheating or her. Which means your feelings, weren't of any thought to him, when he started the affair, and still aren't.
You don't need that you can do better.

Answer 3

It is hard to catch a cheater, but in this case, it sounds like you have the evidence of the cell phone bills and the text message.

I realize that it might be hard to believe and that you would want to believe their excuses because he is your husband.

However, the facts in this case appear to speak for themselves.

Some people when caught lying will lie more to cover it up.

Sometimes the people who do this are not the ones you would expect to do so.

The only other thing you could do is hire a private detective or observe them yourself some time, by saying you are going out of town and then hanging around outside hidden to see what happens. Or follow one or both of them.

Also, it is a good idea to get some advice and counseling for yourself so you can be on as even an emotional keel as possible to deal with the situation and what more you might find out.

Answer 4

why do they always act like we are the crazy ones when they are the ones who are doing the cheating? to shift the truth onto another subject, away from them, so to distract u, by saying u must be crazy. which only adds insult to injury. now they are trying to tell u it was the wrong number. how convenient to call the victim the crazy one. well he is definitely cheating on u, they don't talk around u so u won't be able to see whats going on. u need to tell him u know, and that the game is over, and u didn't just fall off a turnip truck, and tell him it stops or your outta here, and do it. because who wants a life like this? if he wants her let him have her and move on, if he wants u he has to tell her right in front of u to get lost. but chances are once they begin an affair it usually has to run its course, and it won't be over till it's over no matter what u say or do. don't let him snow u, u know the truth here.

Answer 5

If he deny to you meaning he still cares for you. It may be something is going on but if he dun tell you, you will starts thinking and keep guessing. These guesses will makes you miserable, confuse and wild.
My advice is to stay calm and stop thinking all the worst things.
Continue to your routine life and give him sometime to figure things out. Things will get better when you are calm down.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, your gut usually is right. If you feel something in your relationship is wrong then something IS wrong. And if it was something so simple as "a wrong number" they wouldn't hide it or lie about it. Trying to make you look like you are crazy is something cheaters do to make you feel like you are overreacting and seeing things that aren't really there.

Answer 7

If you are asking the question, then he probably is. The bigger question is, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to leave him? Accept it and move on? Let him do whatever he wants? That is what you need to figure out, not whether or not he is cheating.

Answer 8

definitely. why does he want to meet someone in odd hours. (does not matter if she is asking him-doesnot mean he shd say yes to her). tomorrow she will ask for much more and all, will he not have a stand for himself to say no.

text messaging is cheating to me. he shd not want to communicate like the way he is.

dont buy any crap. both are covering. u will get no where confronting. just get out if that's what want. i doubt u want to be with someone who cannot be trusted.

Answer 9

Sorry to say, he is probably cheating. He probably won't own up to it either. The question is what are you going to do? Are you going to trust your gut (which is usually correct) or act like things are O.K.? My advice is to be true to yourself.

Answer 10

sometimes the things that are the hardest to face are the things that we shouldand it sounds like you are about to get screwed by two people you really care about,you better get some serious answers because it doesnt sound good it sounds like they are hideing things from you and you need to know the truth whether you like it or not