i saw a young boy of 14 get killed by a train yesterday.. my 5 year old daughter saw it too.
he was being sick or spitting over the edge of the platform when the train struck his head (how he didnt see it i dont know!)
it was all over the news today, but about an hour ago it was back on the news saying he had died after not regaining conciousness from his surgery..i feel absolutly numb ... all im doing is crying.
any advise for getting over this tragedy? i dont know the boy but i really am upset for his family and the fact i was there when it happened.
another thing is that i think i am going to ask the school if they have a memorial service for the boy, if they do i am thinking of going... do u think its a good idea? wud i be wise to take my daughter with me? only 3 minutes before this happened i was telling her to stay away from the edge... it cud have been her in my eyes as a parent.
aby advise u can give will be greatly appreciated
2007-01-26 12:17:53 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in News & Events ➔ Other - News & Events
Death is a part of life, but when you see such a thing unexpectedly, it just reminds us of our own mortality and that of our children.
I lost a son years ago. He was a kid riding his bike across the street, hit by a car and died before I saw him in the hospital.
When I read such stories like this, it brings me back to him and I grieve. You will too...it never really leaves. It will be bad for a a few days or weeks, then it will get better. But you will feel this way (a little) each time a child dies, when you see it on a TV, or when you just sit around with your thoughts. I'm sorry to be blunt, but that is the way we get.
Maybe you need to see a doctor about this if it continues to haunt you, but there are ways to handle it within. Play more with your child, hug her and do something distracting. It will be better
You have joined an exclusive club here, and you will have a unique insight to all that lose a child, or someone close. It will happen, but you will cry and you will hold that person. You will likely tell them that you watched a boy die one day and it never really leaves you....no parent should ever lose a child.
You will also witness to them that it will get better, but is is hard right now. Close your eyes so I can give you that hug. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.
2007-01-26 12:34:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I saw a car accident a few months back. I didn't see it happen but I drove up just in time to see a body lying on the ground, bleeding. Then we were all forced to sit there while the woman died. It was a very weird experience so I can relate. You know you're going to die one day, you expect it but to see it, it's indescribable. I felt weird for a few days after. I think in your case, you should go seek some thearpy. What you saw was very traumatic and you're having a hard time dealing with it and that's ok. You can take your daughter as well but since she's so young, she might not even remember the incident or even understand it. I personally wouldn't go to the memorial service unless it was a public service. The family in understandably beside themselves right now and I'm sure they know the public means well but, they need to greive in private with their own family & friends. I think you should send them some flowers or a well meaning card though. I think they would appreciate that gesture. You're going to be freaked out for awhile and that's natural. You're a human and the human mind isn't really suppose to see things like that and feel ok about it. You'll get over this. You'll remember it and see it as tragic but you will move on from this. Good luck and please, do go talk to someone about this. It's not something that everyone is able to deal with on their own. Good luck!
2007-01-26 12:56:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Trains can be very silent but fast. That is indeed a very horrible thing for you and your daughter to have witnessed. If you feel the need to go to the funeral, by all means, go. It might help with the healing process. If in time, you're still going thru a bad time, maybe seek counselling. People die all the times, even kids. We had a 15 year old boy get killed by a train a few years back in my town too. He never saw or heard it coming. I feel bad for the guy that was driving the train! They go thru it really bad when they were driving the train. This may sound rude, but, at least it was quick. I'm sure the boy never felt a thing. This is just showing us how precious life is. Hold your daughter and be glad she's here and live life to its fullest daily. God bless you!
2007-01-26 12:30:44 · answer #3 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can only speak from personal experience when I say that these things never leave you. In time of course the memories fade but even now I think back to incidents I attended 10 or 20 years ago.
Fatalities involving children are the worst of all.
It will help a great deal if you talk with family and friends. If you attend church perhaps talk to the minister / priest. Don't bottle it up and try to deal with it yourself.
If there is a memorial service I beleive it will help you if you were to attend, grieving is a natrual healing process. If your daughter understands what happens and wishes to attend I belive it will be good for her too.
2007-01-26 12:27:21 · answer #4 · answered by Trevor 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Thats terrible and i would be upset too. i dont see anything wrong with taking your daughter to the service, you are teaching her a good life lesson about respect and rememberance-its not a funeral just a memorial so its not to morbid for a child.I went to funerals when i was her age. i think you may feel better if you go, mourn for the family, you are paying your respects for the boy, and it may bring some closure(spelling?)explain to your daughter that your just there to say goodbye to the little boy you saw the other day because he went to be with jesus.then go on with your life, if you continue to be upset, you should see a counselor for post traumatic stress.and like someone else said just keep an eye on your daughter, and who knows she may need counseling down the line too,but im sure shell be fine, she doesnt understand and see things like you do.
2007-01-26 12:37:46 · answer #5 · answered by ♥mama♥ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think in a situation like this, you and your daughter should both go to some councelling. you may end up starting to have bad dreams about this. it's not something to take lightly. some people deal with this kind of stuff better than others. i'm really sorry that you had to see that. i feel really bad just hearing your story. your daughter may end up having some issues about this as she gets older too, even though she may not say anything now, or may not understand it. you should get some help. i think it would do the both of you very good.
2007-01-26 12:25:05 · answer #6 · answered by Jamie Lynn 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes, attend the service. The service is for those left behind. Eventhough you didn't know him he will be with you for the rest of your life and your daughter's. Allow her to grieve for the boy and get her and yourself some counseling if you feel you need it. You are going to have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and you need to deal with it now so you are not having nightmares 10 years from now. If you didn't feel something for this boy then I would REALLY worry about you. This was a very traumatic event.
2007-01-26 12:25:03 · answer #7 · answered by bella 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow. im so sorry that happen to you and your daughter. i wish i could help but i dont know much im only in 6th grade. all i can say is that im sorry, and that he will be in Heaven with Jesus and it will be a better place and that Jesus knew this would happen and that this was the best for him. ~again im very sorry and wish i could help more~♥i really want to give you a hug right now, and if i could i would. Very sorry for you and your daughter.God bless u both.
2007-01-26 12:24:35 · answer #8 · answered by Kayyyy&♥; 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I wouldn't bring your daughter because chances are she's scared too. She's alittle young to be feeling that kind of greif. I suggest relaxing for awhile. Maybe getting a theripist would help you vent out your problems. Try hanging out with close friends and family to help you think positive once again. You can make it through this, good luck!
2007-01-26 12:24:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
That is tragic. I would not take my 5 year old to the service. Don't tell the parent's or the press that you were telling your daughter to stay away from the edge, they might feel like you could of done something and be mad. I'm so sorry you witnessed this. Get counseling for you and your daughter please.
2007-01-26 12:23:31 · answer #10 · answered by pearl28 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋