I have been with my boyfriend a little over 5 years now and he has not proposed which is what I want. I am about to turn 31 and he is about to turn 30. I still love him very much and want him to be the one but I'm tired of waiting on a proposal. Is it selfish of me to go on with my life?
2007-01-26 12:12:07 · 19 answers · asked by wondering 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To care bear, he knows I want it and he says he will do it in his timing, his way.
2007-01-26 12:17:51 · update #1
you ask him. i'm playing!
well you can't wait forever. just wait a month or so, and if he doesn't propose then it would not be selfish of you to move on.
2007-01-26 12:18:15 · answer #1 · answered by k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I saw one of the answers that suggested that you ask him yourself. That's good...it should go something like this: do you see us getting married in the near future, say, 1-2 years? If he wants to wait, ask why. That takes the pressure of "a proposal" out of the discussion. If the answers you receive are not what you want or are vague, then you have your answer--it is time to move on. Don't let him pull any guilt trips or let him convince you to stay if he has given you your answer. 5 years is long enough for you two to know or not.
No, there is nothing to feel guilty about in wanting to move on and going after what it is you want. Sometimes, it is good to be selfish. You need to take care of yourself before you can be with someone. Believe me, there are many wonderful and eligible guys out there that DO want to get married but haven't found the right girl yet. Be strong and ask...and then act accordingly. Good luck!
2007-01-26 12:38:07 · answer #2 · answered by prettymomofthree2004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though I have been in that exact situation, I find it very difficult to give advice. Mainly because just because I had a certain experience doesn't mean that yours will be the same as well.
Mine was stalling. He wanted me in his life forever, but would not commit. I finally decided it was time to move on and told him so. I simply expplained that as much as I loved him, we did not want and value the same things.
Funny though, we ended up getting married. It didn't end up working out in the long run so now I am nearly divorced.
I look at it this way from now on.....
I am a great person and have alot to offer, and for the right person, I am a catch. It won't be with someone who is sooo indecisive over a commitment with me. But rather with someone who is so sure of me and a life together.
I will never sell myself short again.
2007-01-26 15:04:07 · answer #3 · answered by Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all! You have to look out for you. I truly feel that if a man hasn't proposed after 2 or 3 years...it isn't gonna happen. ESPECIALLY since you two are not kids. You two are just on different pages and want different things.
I have been their and done that. I was with him 7 1/2 years. Even though I'm not married yet, I am happier knowing that my husband is out there and I'm not wasting time in a dead end relationship.
2007-01-26 12:20:01 · answer #4 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about proposing to him? Think it over first though. Are you sure this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, or is he just the person you happen to be with now? Does he truly, deeply love you and just need an extra shove to the alter because he's satisfied with shacking up, or is he the kind of guy who doesn't really know how he feels? If you're sure you want to, you could ask him to marry you and see what his answer is. Good luck.
2007-01-26 12:29:14 · answer #5 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that is no longer selfish of you in any respect. you could stick on your heart and you need to be satisfied. i might take a seat with him and have an open and trustworthy communicate and flat out ask him if he ever plans to propose. If he says no, then that is needed to evaluate reducing your losses and strolling away. I comprehend that, it incredibly is a lot much less perplexing pronounced than executed, have faith me, I surely have been there. you do no longer prefer to be interior an identical prediciment 5 years from now. If its no longer meant to be, then its no longer meant to be and no quantity of surprising on is going to alter that. the only thank you to comprehend is to ask and in case you do not get the respond you like, then flow on. there are various men accessible who are not afraid to make that dedication. i became in a relationship for 5 years the place I hung in there even inspite of the shown fact that I wasn't getting what i might have needed out of it. I saved questioning that if I hung in there long adequate there might faster or later be a pay off. became accessible wasn't. It sucked on the time, yet then i found out that i became youthful and proper and that there have been a great number of fish interior the sea. That became in 2004. In early 2005 I met a astounding guy and seven months in the past we've been married. discover out now what you prefer to comprehend. sturdy success. i'm hoping for the superb for you, despite which would be.
2016-11-01 09:23:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some where in there you have to ask is it the proposal or his love you want more. If it is the proposal then you need to move on. If it is his love then stay with him because he is giving you that without a ceremony or putting it on paper for a judge or pastor to decree as real.
2007-01-26 12:31:52 · answer #7 · answered by Love to Love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I waited 7 years...some guys need time. I am 36 now and I was 29 when I met him. We just got married last year in Vegas. We eloped....it was worth the wait. Of course I had these same thoughts, but I adored him and I was willing to wait.
2007-01-26 12:19:00 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa Cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i feel for you I've been there i was in a 8 year relationship WITH kids waiting on the commitment. I never flat ask i knew the answer his heart was not there. I suggest you ask b4 wasting as much time and energy as i did. don't just ask lay it on the line tell him you need to know now either he's with you or not. If he chooses to not get you a ring you chose to let it go.
2007-01-26 12:18:35 · answer #9 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not selfish. You've given this guy 5 YEARS of your life and he's not proposed...move on and find someone who'll sweep you off your feet because he doesn't seem like he's going to.
2007-01-26 12:19:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋