me and my boyfriend broke up 6 days before our 5 year being together?

Question

im crying alot cause he had not called me and its been 5days , but i know its for the better we have been together for 5 years and he have not even put an engagement ring on my finger,the reason we broke up is cause we had an arguement about him not spending time with me i than told him to get out my house he than got extremely and put his hands on me i told my family about it now my dad wants tokill him but he is not that abusive person people are taking him to be which this was the first time he ever did this and his excuse about marrying me is that he wants to be finicially stable first can someone give me some advice do you think he is going to call my family says he is afraid and embrassed right so he is not going to call and this is the 4th time that we have broke in the 5 years we have been together and the first time that we broke up and he have not call me could he have someone else i love help me!!!!

i also have 3 kids that is not for him and thats all they and im afraid of letting another man come into their lives i have 2 girls 1 boy and they have alot sexual predators out thre i have even tried calling him he is not answering his phone he has helped me with the kids 100 but have been praying to GOD to give me strength cause i have been crying so much and eating very little

Answer 1

You need comfort right now. There are some things that we do that we cannot come back from,ie.,murder,adultery and hitting a woman. It may have been the 1st time, but he will always be capable of doing it again. It's in his character to do this.Honestly, if you felt, with 5 years vested with this man, that he was not spending time with you and this is how he responds to your feelings of loneliness, do feel that he would make you a happy wife?Ih he had someone else, you would feel it in your heart. You have been with him for five years. People build a rythm in time and we become so in use to that energy. If something comes up on your radar that has not come up before in the time that you spent with him, then it has come up for good reason. You already became familiar to a side of him that he never had shown you. Do you need to see who is the other woman? If it was out of character for him and his desires to marry you someday are strong and sincere, then he needs to seek counseling or anger mgmt. Getting out of debt is damn good reason to wait. It means that he wants to live happily. He wants flexibility with finances. This is a great quality of a man to have,especially if he wants to start a family. As for him being embarassed,rightly so. The manly thing to do if he wants to work this out is ,first of all, he must apologize to you,your family and seek counseling. It also sounds as if both of you should attend premarital counseling or conflict resolution course with a professional. Couples have problems and its normal to have disagreements,but to take it as far as breaking up and then getting back is an escalation I would attend to for the better interest of our relationship. There is no breaking up and leaving when you have a mortgage,let alone children. He has his own demons to fight,but you both have yours as well if you want your relationship to grow. He has some serious amends to make to your father though. He will probably need your constant support with dealing with dad. Below I placed a link I know will help you both. Read it before the marriage. This is where many go wrong. They seek counseling when tensions has built so much already after the marriage.

Answer 2

1st of all. Don't fool yourself into thinking that this was not him, when he put his hands on you and thank God you found out before he did more damage to you. 2nd. If he's not spending time with you, then where is that time going? You already know. 3rd honey when a guy that has been engaged for 5 years and still have not stepped up to the plate and married you, then chances are he won't, I can't count the times I've heard young girls say, He wants to get married, but he want to wait until he get more money. Meanwhile he's selling drugs and not working a full time job, therefore, how is he gonna get money for a wedding if he don't work and plan for this occasion? If he have not called, then you should be happy to move on. The next time he raise his hand to you then it could be almost death or death. Why do you want to put your family through all of this. Always remember, What goes on between you and your mate stays between you and your mate, because when you're ready to forgive him, the family won't forgive as easily. Which I don't blame them in this case, Because he could have really hurt you.

Answer 3

Yes, this sounds like the deal breaker. He's obviously with someone else or at least being physically intimate with her for the past 6 days. So if he comes back you will have to decide if you can tolerate the smell of another woman on him.

But I think that he's GONE for good. Moreover, he laid hands on you and if I were your Dad, I would bust him on his butt the first time I see him.

So you are going to have to wring all the tears out of yourself and move on and don't think about him in bed with another girl.

Answer 4

ARE YOU SERIOUS???

HE ALLREADY PUT HIS HANDS ON YOU AND YOU GUYS ARE NOT EVEN MARRIED. BUT I MUST SAY HE DOES HAS A POINT THERE, HE WANTS TO MARRY YOU OR ANYONE BEFORE HE IS FINANCIAL STABLE, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. BUT BY PUTTING HIS HANDS ON YOU HE CROSS THE LINE BIG TIME. PLUS DONT BLAME YOUR DAD WANTING TO KILL HIM NOW ... YOU OPENED PANDORAS BOX BY TELLING YOUR FAMILY WHAT HE DID.

TAKE THE HINT AND RELAX, TAKE TIME FOR YOUR SELF AND CONCENTRATE IN GETTING YOUR SELF TOGETHER AND MAYBE MEET SOME ONE THAT WILL RESPECT YOU AS A HUMAN BEING INSTEAD OF PUTTING HIS HAND TO HURT YOU.

REMEMBER IT STARTED BY AN SILLY ARGUMENT AND HE PUT HIS HANDS ON YOU, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WILL HAPPEND IF YOU HAVE KIDS AND YOU TELL HIM THERE IS NO MONEY TO BUY THE SMALLEST THING AS PAMPERS, WHAT DO YOU THINK HE WOULD DO?? THINK ABOUT IT.

Answer 5

you told on him...maybe that is why he is staying away....
how about you call him up and say u are sorry and it might surprise you because actually it is not your fault...he also must say he is sorry.... 5 years is a really long time ...hopefully yall can work it out...good luck and don't stress....stress won't help...

Answer 6

He sounds like a immature jerk!