20 days ago it was my b-day and my mother in law did not even give me a call. Yesterday i received a postcard from her containing a 100$ check. I felt very bad and i sent her back telling"thank u, u r very nice but i can't accept it. Do u think i made the right choice?. I m italian and i moved here to live with my actual husband and i think my in laws hate me... and i think she sent me a check just to insult me and make feel a poor miserable stupid immigrant...and this it s so unfair because this people is not even rich and i also come from Milano and i m not miserable or uneducated...my family has money and they gave me the opportunity to study in one of the best university of my city...what 's wrong with this people?why they act like that? i only wanted a call wishing me happy b-day...and not money throught a check...
2007-01-26 11:54:43 · 8 answers · asked by manolaxox 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Totally classy choice, honey, considering your feelings and your relationship with them. And kudos for keeping your composure and saying thank you instead of being insulting. Every bit a lady, you are. And the bigger person, I might add.
2007-01-26 12:28:36 · answer #1 · answered by Ande 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize that here in the USA people frequently give each other money for birthday gifts. I'm sure your mother in law was just trying to be nice. She probably had forgotten about your birthday because you're still new to her, and she felt bad, so she sent you a nice birthday card with money. You should call her and thank her for the nice thought. And next time it's HER birthday, make sure to call her and wish her a happy birthday and I'm sure next time it's your birthday she'll do the same.
2007-01-26 20:05:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, chill out!
There is nothing wrong with sending a check for your birthday... oftentimes people send checks or gift cards to people, especially if they don't know them well enough to be able to tell what to get them. Your mother-in-law probably sent it to you as a birthday gift -- not as an insult to your background or ethnicity! My mother-in-law gave me a monetary gift for my birthday -- it was wonderful, because I could use it for something that I really needed!
Please don't consider this an insult -- it will only make the situation between you two worse. Assume the best, and you will have a much better relationship.
(and happy belated birthday!)
2007-01-26 20:00:53 · answer #3 · answered by wnk 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Quit being suspicious. Stop insulting yourself. Your mother-in-law probably means well. Accept her generosity graciously. Many people do not know how to select gifts and find money easy to give. When your mother-in-law realized she overlooked your birthday she wanted to correct her error.
Call her on the telephone and have a friendly conversation. It sounds like you two need to get to know each other better.
Good Luck.
C-F
2007-01-26 20:05:09 · answer #4 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know you or your family, but many parent figures send money. I personally feel its ok, for kids, it gives them the chance to go out to the mall and buy something. But for adults, money can be ok, like from a parent to their children, but she should have sent you something nice for your home, or a gift card to a store to pruchase something for the home, or a plant or flowers. Many Americans give money, its fast, easy, and requires no work in looking for a gift. I think things now a days have gotten too easy, but what the heck, thats life. But don't make a mountain out of a molehill ,not just yet???
2007-01-26 20:05:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, stop. Maybe it looks strange but that's how Americans are. My mother in law does the same thing. They send money because that's how they express that they care. You should have taken and called her saying that it was very nice of her.
2007-01-26 20:34:51 · answer #6 · answered by 1234 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should have put a note with it thanking her and at the same time telling her you could not accept her gift as you feel maybe she could spend the money on herself and just a happy birthday phone call would have been fine..they probably had no idea that you would be insulted.
2007-01-26 20:08:36 · answer #7 · answered by nickle 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can understand why you feel that way, but my question is why you'd even care what they think. As long as your husband loves you and holds you above anything else, what does what they say or do matter. My in-laws never call me on my B-day and I don't care, as long as the call her, that fine with me.
2007-01-26 20:11:15 · answer #8 · answered by LOS 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋