My boyfriend has a small business and decided that he will join a larger firm in order to get ready for retirement and to work less hours....which as it looks with these transit will not happen. However, I am working with him together for 6 years now. He informed me that I can not go with him to this new firm because in the corporate world it is not proper and acceptable that couples/spouses work together.
So it looks like I just lost my job! Yet I see this as a good chance to move forward. The only thing what bothers me is the timing. I just purchased a home and my mortgage payments are pretty high, bills, taxes etc. and he knows that I need a job to be able to pay my bills. I do not want anyone to assist me with money not even him. I want to be able to stay independent financially. He tells me that he will give me a good severance package. But this isn’t the issue here. The coldness as he threw the bomb at me, that is what hurts me. He suggested I should move in with him. :(
2007-01-26 11:47:49 · 11 answers · asked by Niko 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not sure if you're in America but if you are it is completely acceptable for spouses to work together or couples to work together. I see it every day in my line of work and it is wonderful. I think it is a front honestly and he is lying about something or he got pulled into something he isn't wise about. However, you still have to move forward. If you do not want the help then you'll have to take your skills and put them to use for yourself or for another company that can afford to pay what you'll need to maintain your living. You can have what you want you just have to look for a new way of providing it for yourself now.
2007-01-26 11:57:04 · answer #1 · answered by Love to Love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say several things. 1st I would say that this was cold, because he is your boyfriend and working with him for 6 years. Then... on the other hand, this is a business. This is his livelihood and you shouldn't mix business with relationship. If you was a co-worker and he told you that he had to let this person go for reasons of merging with a bigger company, you would be OK with that, but now the person just happens to be you. Sorry, but this is BUSINESS. You said'' this is your chance to move forward'' Who's to say that this is not your season to bloom and make more money then you've made with his business. We as people fail to realize that things and people are in our lives for a season. Sometime we make partners, husbands, wives, best friends out of folk that only should come into our life to teach us things and then they move on. You did this job for 6 years, I know you have learned a thing or two about a thing or two. Take what you know and be successful, Respect him for his choice and don't lose your Independence. You WILL keep your house, so don't worry. When you're so busy from making money ''hand over fist'' and he can't get time with you then he'll remember to nix the rules. Good luck to you. Keep your head up.
2007-02-03 18:50:46 · answer #2 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only danger of working for same company is being out of a job at the same time if that company folds.
Six year is a long time to be in a relationship without marriage? But that is your choice.
Ho would you feel if he ggot his foot into that company and met another young lady and they hit it off pretty good and got married and she got him and the good benefits?
You are not married to him so if you want ot work for that same company, go for it! a couple would have done what was best for the couple (HINT!)
2007-01-31 21:26:23 · answer #3 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not selfishness or control .looks like to me a step up the ladder . Do a little improvement on the home you just purchased sell it for a profit take the chunk of change he wont's to give you move in with him anything happens between you and him so what you have a chunk of change . Or invest it into your own business . What you got to lose ?
2007-01-31 22:05:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be a couple things, he really could be controlling and selfish, or he could be trying to undermine your independence and force you to move in with him (men like to be depended upon) or he could be trying to cover something up. I guess only you can try to get to the bottom of it, but any which way you look at it, wouldn't you have preferred a more direct and honest approach???? How's he going to handle other big life decisions?
2007-01-26 20:11:55 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry, i think that this is both selfish on his part and controlling.if you are now going to be with out a job, i suggest you start looking else where for work. once you have found another job, see how he acts then. dont alow him to make you give up all that you have worked for. stay strong!! find another place to work, this time make sure its know place he works.
2007-01-26 19:56:08 · answer #6 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is shelfish and controlling------------why dont you apply at some different firms and show him just what "you are made of". In th meantime I would accept the severence pay and apply most of it to the house note and keep alittle out in order to live on until another job comes your way.
2007-01-26 20:27:55 · answer #7 · answered by nickle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably both,I mean very selfish because he is only thinking of himself,but controling because you really arent left with much options,I really would have a long talk with him before you get married because if this is going to be his behavior i think that you may have a problem with it I mean this may be a red flag! so be carefull.
2007-01-26 19:57:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesn't love you thats why he did't think about you. you can work at that new company, you guys are not married,don't live together . he is not planning to have a future with you.
2007-02-03 14:22:24 · answer #9 · answered by sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither selfishness or controlling. He is doing what he has to do for his future and since you aren't married he has only himself to think about.
Now a jerk, he is!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-26 20:13:26 · answer #10 · answered by UccmLover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋