I'm pregnant with my first child I am completely scared and have no clue what to do?

Question

I'm 20 and have an unplanned pregnancy with a guy that really wants an abortion but I have decided against that so I'm kinda in on this on my own. I am about 3 months pregnant and I have no idea what to do or how to get started.

Answer 1

Hello Jess and Congratulations on the pregnancy. And congratualtions on being woman enough to decide to have this precious baby rather than to throw it away. I can not say that I am too surprised at the behavior of your boyfriend...and I do mean "boy" friend, I would not call him a man. It does make you understand tho why the sacred gift of bearing life was given to women and not left to them. If men were the ones trusted to have babies there would not be any of them!
But, to your question....you have gotten some very good answers. I don't know if it was mentioned but one thing that you need to do for certain if you smoke is to stop. That is a big problem for unborn babies. Also be very careful before you take any over the counter drugs of any kind. Alcohol is out too. You can still have a cup or two of coffee in the morning although it always made me sick when I was pregnant.
The first place to start is to find a good OB/GYN and start taking your prenatal vitamins. Make sure you are getting plenty of folic acid, it is important. You might want to take your vitamins at bedtime as they can upset your tummy if you take them during the day.
Start going for your doctor's appointments and remember that they are important. Get a little spiral notebook and carry it with you. During the month as you think of little things that you want to ask the doctor, jot them down. Take the book with you when you see the doctor and write down the answers to your questions. You would be surprised how you will forget what the answer was to what you asked! Write down important phone numbers and things you want to look up on the net.
Try to remember to eat small meals, often. You will be less likely to have morning sickness if you can keep a little food in your stomach. That is why it is so prevelant in the morning, that is when your stomach is totally empty. There are lots of tips if you do start having nausea.
Take CARE of yourself! Eat well and try to get as much rest as you can. As your pregnancy advances you will need more rest. Try to remember to elevate your feet so that they are higher than your heart. Sit down when you can and lie down when you can.
There is nothing to be scared of sweetie! Excited...YES, scared...no! Women have been having babies for a LONG time.....lol...I know that does not help.
Do you have a relationship with your mother? an aunt or an older sister? Families can be wonderful at times like this. Or not. Sometimes that is not what you need, you will know.
Friends can be wonderful now also. If there is no one else reach out to some of us that have written to you. I noticed a few others and I would love to be friends with you. You are not alone....not anymore. Feel that little one inside of you? Your precious little baby is floating, safe, warm and loved inside of you. That little person loves you too, in a special way that no one else ever will. You can count on that. I have 5 children and they are the lights of my life. Each one as precious to me as the other.
You will be fine.
Go to the library and check out some books. "What to Expect When You are Expecting" is a good one. The Internet is wonderful too. Go to www.babycenter.com you can put in your due date and it will track your pregnancy for you, it is really great. At three months it says that your baby is about three inches long and weights nearly an ounce. The really neat part is that it says she already has her own distinct fingerprints!
Take care of yourself and your baby dear.
Feel free to write and let me know how you are.
Blessings
Lady Trinity~

Answer 2

First, I am truly sorry that the father is being such a jerk. Children are a blessing, even the unplanned ones.

That said, you need to make an appointment with an OB-GYN as SOON as possible. There are blood tests to be taken and ultrasounds to be done.

I am SOOOO glad you're choosing to go ahead with the pregnancy, even though you're scared. I don't know if it helps, but even the planned ones can be scary.

If you don't have health insurance, there's probably a health department or crisis pregnancy place near you, where you can go for your pre-natal exams.

Since you've decided to do the right thing and take responsibility, these people can help you out and answer your questions about all of it.

I wish you and your little one the best of luck, and don't worry, once you see the baby on ultrasound for the first time and feel those first kicks, you'll know you're doing the right thing!

Answer 3

First, take a deep breath. Next, you need to find a good doctor. Is your family supportive? or your friends? these people can be very helpful. I like the book "your Pregnancy Week by Week better than What to expect when you're expecting. Also, the babycenter.com website is very informative.

I know you don't want an abortion, but if you're not ready to be a parent you can also consider adoption. You can speak to your doctor about those kind of options. If you plan on keeping the baby, you have a little time to figure out your other options. Hopefully, friends and family will rally around. And once the baby is born I would petition the court to get child support from the dad.

Good luck

Answer 4

Make sure you are ready to take this on by yourself - hopefully you have friends and family to support you. Most important thing get to the doctor for a prenatal check up and get some prenatal vitamins, etc. Eat right, take care of yourself - no smoking or drinking.....being pregnant is a wonderful experience don't be scared the baby will grow and eventually kick and move and you'll be so awestruck by it. Well meaning people may tell you horror stories about how long their labor was and how much it hurt - but don't listen to them - not everyone is the same a friend of mine was in full blown labor and didn't even know it and when she got to the hospital - she delivered in less than an hour. Just plan it with your doctor and things will be fine. Don't let your boyfriend change your mind about abortion - worst case - do adoption there are lots of lovely people in this world who cannot conceive and would love to have a baby.......good luck you'll do just fine!

Answer 5

Well first of all, your boyfriend is a jerk for even suggesting an abortion. I am glad you chose to keep your baby. The first thing to do is go to the doctor's to make sure everything is going to plan. They will give you lots of information and answer any questions you may have. You will also want to start saving money for your baby. You will need to buy lots of things, which get very expensive. Talk to your mom also, she went through it at least once, so she can probably answer a lot of questions you will have. There is also lots of information on the internet. That's what I do when I have nothing else to do. It will tell you how your baby is developing and you can get set up to receive an email each week to explain all the new things your body and your baby are going through. Don't get too stressed about it. It's not good for the baby. Everything will be fine. If you need to talk to someone, you can email me. I am 21 and about 3 months pregnant also. [e-mail].

Answer 6

I know that a few hospitals in the city where I live have a program where you pay a flat-fee rate that covers everything for the pregnancy. I think it is around $7,000-$8,000. You might be able to get a low-interest loan or even a low-interest credit card to pay this fee. I think it might help to talk to a local social worker in your area. Call social services and the agent should be able to give you the eligibility requirements and other info about programs in your state. I think it is smart of you not to jump into marriage, but it also means you are going to face a lot of stress and have to take on some debt now. Also, not sure where you stand with being a parent, but many adoptive parents will pay for a birthmother's medical expenses as part of the adoption process. Just a thought. Good luck and I hope you find the information you need.

Answer 7

First you need to get to a doctor.If you don't have insurance then your gonna have to apply for Medicade. You may not have a choice. I dont know of any doctors that will see you w/out insurance. If your already prego, then Medicaid will approve you. I live in NY area and know someone this happened to. Once you get on Medicaid then everything is paid for. Don't wait do this right away. Call tomorrow. Once you get a doctor then you will be able to ask any question you can think of. Buy books on pregnancy or go to the library. Eat healthy. You should be taking prenatal vitamins. Eat lots of dark leafy green veggies , they are rich in folic acid. A lack of this has been linked to certain birth defects. Start planning for your baby.

Answer 8

OK I went through almost this exact same thing myself 6 years ago.

Here's a little about what I went through. I was 20 just like you I had only known this guy for oh 3 months and I found out I was pregnant. So he moved me in with him and got me a car and then when I was 2 months pregnant he told me one night he didn't want the baby and didn't want anything to do with me. Well I of course got upset but I dealt with it. So months went by and he went to my dr appts with me and he heard the heart beat and everything and he decided to stick around. Well then again when I was 5 months pregnant he said he didn't the baby again. I said well it's to late you should've thought about that before I got pregnant. So anyways to make a long story short when my daughter was 1 1/2 he left us because he said he was unhappy. So my daughter being that old knew who daddy was and to this day she always asks about her dad. I do not deny him from seeing her. He is just a jerk and doesn't want much to do with her. So from somebody that has been in your shoes dear I would say be strong and you can do it on your own. Just look towards friends and family for strenght and support.
I know it may be tough but if the guy can get your pregnant and then doesn't want anything to do with you when you find out that your having a baby you don't need him anyways. You can be happy without him.
Good luck and I'm sorry I wrote so much but that reminded me of my situation when I was that old.

Answer 9

I agree with your first answer. You're going to need to see a doctor and go from there. I bet the guy doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. You need to consider recieveing child support from him. You may want to start stocking up on disposable wipes and diapers. Congratulations, I'm glad that you've decided against the abortion. Also, I really feel eventually you'll be glad about your decision too. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 10

It's scary even when you did plan it. It has to be harder to not have much support. I would start by going to your local health department and get on WIC and Medicaid. Also, I would find a job as soon as you can and see if you might be able to stay with a friend or family member just until you can get on your feet. If you are able to work I would start a savings or checking account and put as much money as you can into the savings account. Also, there are low income housing that can help you as well. It's a start but it will help you get on your feet. Also, make sure he gives you child support. I hope things will go better for you.