Okay so here's the deal. My 15 year old son, Jake just figured out he's gay. I found him with his gay lover in his bedroom on his bed. I'm a little worried but I still think it's fine as long as he doesn't get some disease like ABDS. I'd be so scared. I don't know how to handle it because his father just died 2 years ago and I'm sure that his father, Chris would have known how to handle this.
Please help me in my situation.
2007-01-26 10:44:11 · 42 answers · asked by MommahDiane 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
what's ABDS? Maybe I'm just dense but I haven't heard of that one
2007-01-26 10:49:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 4⤋
What is ABDS? I don't think you will ever be able to turn him straight, but......If he wasn't gay would you let him have a girl in the bed with him at 15 years old? This is when you should think about things like that. Explain to him about AIDS and the use of protection because it is a dirty world. Take him to the doctor and have them do HIV tests on him and have the doc talk to him about his sexual choices. There is nothing wrong with being gay, he just needs to be filled in on the side effects of unprotected sex. You might not approve of his choice but he is going to be his own person and you can either love him for who he is or hate him for it. Either way that is your choice. Good Luck
2007-01-26 10:53:18 · answer #2 · answered by MyOpinionMatters 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that there should not be any reason to worry at all in the view of the fact that throughout history, men had been constantly seeking things that are appealing to them; e.g. maths, art, music… and the motivation for there existence is merely driven by there beautiful nature. Just like we love maths, art or music, in the same way, when it comes to a person, the motivation for love has the same root. The only difference is that for a person we love, we may also have a sexual tendency towards him, no matter male or female.
Since gender is essentially just a label, so it has nothing to do with love. Hence there is no such reason that we should stick with the stereotyped thinking that love may only exist between opposite sex.
As a matter of fact the love between jack and his lover is so pure and naive, I think that you should be very proud of Jack and encourage the relationship to go on in a healthy way, which would have the least impact on his schoolwork.
2007-01-26 14:39:04 · answer #3 · answered by Answer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love is universal.
It's funny how we think about aids when we think about gay people. As far as I was aware, aids is a problem in hetrosexual relationships too :)
The point being, remove the social label of "gay" and call it "love". Love is not a social construct - it's one of the few real things in this world.
You'll find over time that your son will be with girls too - maybe not for 10 years. Sexuality evolves and it's possible he'll play in all areas of it throughout his life. If you can teach him to focus on connections, and true love then it doesn't matter who he's with, male or female, he'll be happy.
2007-01-29 17:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by Adam F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sI think you first need to sort out how you feel..........THEN approach your son. I am sure he is mortified to have been found out and found out in that situation. he really needs your love and support right now. Remember, he is still your son. To me, if my son is gay (he is only three now), I would be shocked but my love and feelings for him WILL NOT CHANGE. I would be more disappointed in him if he was a drug user or dropped out of school. Everyone thinks gay=sex. Being gay is just WHO you are. Heterosexuals don't walk around saying "Hey I'm a heterosexual" You just live your life as you always do. I hope things work out between you and your son.....and just remember......he really hasn't changed!
2007-01-26 11:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by Laura K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well my best friend is gay and im 15. just support him. tell ur son that he dosent need to hide his boyfriend. say that u want to get to know this boy just like u would a girl. let him know that you dont want to ungay him. my friend was totaly afraid that i would try to make him straight. maybe you too should see a counselor because it will be hard for both of you. teenage years are hard enough straight let alone gay. make it an option. i hope everything goes well. dont treat him any differently. hes already embarassed that u saw him and that now u "know". be careful and remind him of hiv and other stds!
2007-01-30 10:03:39 · answer #6 · answered by Danceinda7flames 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with being gay, but being sexually active at 15 is illegal, at least where I live. Talk with him and have him try to hold back for a bit. Having a serious relationship before he's even out of high school could cause problems.
2007-01-26 11:16:44 · answer #7 · answered by adanarama 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First I would like to congratulate you for not freaking out on your son...and give you a big (HUG). Now the way that I would go about it would be to look at it from his point of view. Talk to him about what he is going through, I am sure he will appreciate it. Otherwise, hold him up to the same standards as any other 15 year old boy. Basically, treat him the same as you would if he was straight.
Best of luck!
2007-01-26 10:50:41 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Aids can be caught in hetrosexuals as well. I do hope you are talking to your kids about safe sex. I hear that blow jobs are very common in highschool years, and that is a sure fire way to catch aids, for your daughter or your son. I think scince they are both sexually active, you should scheadule both of them for an aids test. Get their blood drawn now, and scheadule for 6 months later. If they will not be responsable, then you should and show them that this is what they have to look forward to if they continue to have sexual encounters and pass body fluids too or from another. That goes for both your son and daughter. Aids can be caught, and it is spreading fast in teenagers. It is scary, so teach them consequences, get their blood tested, and have your daughter take a pap smear as well.
2007-01-28 00:32:50 · answer #9 · answered by ishelp4 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well since we live in the USA instead of Europe, I'd do this:
Talk to your son about his sexual preference. Even tho it would not be your choice for him, let him know you still and will forever love him.
However, you can request that he not have sexual relationships in your house..and that as young as he is he needs to mature in many ways before getting emotionally involved. Face it, if your child was female you wouldn't want her jumping into bed at age 15 either...it's not about the sex, it's about giving yourself a chance to mature. When he is 18 he can do whatever he likes, until then you are still in charge.
Good luck!!
2007-01-26 10:55:42 · answer #10 · answered by imask8r 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
sweetie, get off of the computer and go to bed. it's WAAYYY past your bedtime.
and, by the way, do everyone a favor and get your little 12-year-old a** off the computer... for good. everyone's tired of seeing your, stupid, juvenile questions.
plus, i read some of your other questions and you REALLY shouldn't make jokes about suicide... it's a serious issue, you know. people actually DIE from it. it absolutely disgusts me that you can find the nerve to joke about it.
also, don't you have any friends? why aren't you outside playing tag or something, instead of wasting your time fooling around on the computer, like a total loser? ...and, where's your baby-sitter? does she know about this?
get a life, kid.
2007-01-26 11:37:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋