My mother supposedly "wants" to be living with someone yet refuses to contact her family because of the person

Question

My family was living in MD and my mother met this crazy woman named Crystal from Albany, NY online around 2003 and she visited Crystal on and off. Then in 2006 she claimed to want to move to Albany, NY to live with Crystal. In May 2006 my mother acted like she was having mental problems, so my grandpa took her to the hospital. My grandpa thoght my father had done something to my mother, and he got mad at my father. When my mother got out of the hospital she told my father that he had agreed to move out of our house and live with his mother. The next day my father reluctantly went to live with his mother, then that night when he was gone my mother unplugged the 1 phone in our house (unbeknownst to me) and went out, saying she was going to get pizza, although something she was really going to get Crystal who had probably taken a bus to MD. When I realized the phone was unplugged I plugged it back up and called my father and told him what was going on.

My father told me to call him back if Crystal showed up. Sure enough my mother arrived minutes later with Crystal, but refused to let me use the phone. Crystal went on all night about how we were going to pack up everything we could all in 1 day the following day and move to Albany, NY and I felt powerless to do anything. Whenever I tried to say anything she would physically attack and yell at me while my mother did nothing. The following day my 21 year old autistic brother, 18 year old sister, and I, 20, had no choice but to take whatever we could and leave everything else and move to Albany all in 1 day. Currently I am back in MD because my mother and Crystal drove me back here for college in August. All during the trip Crystal about not wanting to come along but only doing so because she "had to," yelle at me, physically attacked me, and made it clear that I could never return to their apartment in MD even though most of my belongings remain there.

Crystal even cursed my mother's parents out and my mother did NOTHING but sit back and look sad and scared!!! My mother has also borrowed nearly $500 in college loan money from me and has never told Crystal she borrowed it, nor has she returned any of it even after she promised she would. And now she refuses to contact me or anyone else in her family, which my brother seems to think is because she is afraid Crystal will ask my mother wants to return to MD if she contacts any of her family. And when Crystal asks any of us if we want to return to MD she will go on a rant, complaining and yelling, making it sound like returning to MD is a bad thing, and she will not stop for almost an hour or so. If Crystal were to yell at my mother in this way my mother would break down and cry, as I have done when she yelled at me. So it seems to me that my mother is just refusing to call her family because she does not want Crystal to go on a rant and ask her if she wants to return to MD.

How can my mother "want" to be living with Crystal in NY, yet refuse to call her family because she is afraid crystal will yell at her and ask her if she wants to return to MD? If this is the case then she must not really want to be in NY, does she? She also does other things (goes to the laundromat, the store, e.t.c.) while Crystal stays at the apartment. Now you can't tell me my mother really does just "want" to do all of this stuff while Crystal stays home. There has to be something else, like she is afraid Crystal will get mad if she does not do these things. I don't think you could call it Crystal controlling my mother because crystal is not MAKING my mother do anything, but at the sametime my mother is just doing all of these things, pretending not to mind even though she obviously does. So what would you call it? I really need help here. Why is my mother pretending not to mind doing all of these things when she obviously does mind? And why is she refusing to call he family?

Answer 1

Stay in college get a job stay out of the whole bizarre situation there is nothing for you to do at this point but look out for yourself. Gd Luck to you!

Answer 2

sound like drugs are in use, Be strong.............

good luck in college