I divorced my ex when my son was about 1. He is now coming up on four - I have him about 1/3 of the time. Since he was two I've bought cards for the ex on mothers day, her birthday, Xmas, and valentines day for my son to give to Mommy. He just scribbles in them, but now that he's older he's excited to give them to her. I do this because I want him to get into the habit of doing this, so that when he is older, he can do it on his own. He also colors pictures here that I let him take for Mommy. Our divorce was ugly, and things have declined since then. She's been real bad lately - leaving nasty messages, and saying she is going to go after more support (already gets $1000 monthly) I'm tempted to stop having my son do cards and stuff on holidays for his Mommy. Whadya think. Part of me thinks that I've been way too nice up until now, the other part thinks that this is about him and her - not her being a bitc$ to me, and that I should continue enabling him to do stuff 4 her.
2007-01-26 10:31:15 · 14 answers · asked by foobarred 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You said yourself that your son is excited to give the cards to his Mommy. Don't let her attitude interfere with your child's happiness. You are doing a great job and you are not "too nice", you are instilling values in your son. Don't let her meanness make you be the "bad parent".
Your son treasures these cards, so you continue being the dad that you are.
2007-01-26 10:40:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your son is excited about doing this for her, then you shouldn't take that away from him. In time he will see that she is not doing the same and may even ask her why not. That could be an opening for things to get better. But as it stands now, I'd say keep being the better person, in the end it will pay off for you. Good luck.
2007-01-26 10:59:06 · answer #2 · answered by LOS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No dont stop.. i know u want to cause well she's being a b***h but whats more important to teach ur son to do the right things, and the proper way of handling a situation.. or falling prey to her being an idiot and letting cloud your judgement on who u are as a father? Although u may buy the cards, although u may buy the paper and crayons that ur son uses to make things for his mom, its still suppose to be from him to her.. dont let her being an idiot sway u from doing what is right by your son. What ur doing makes u a better person, and a better parent.. dont let that witch change that about u..
I think ur doing a great job..keep it up.. dont let anyone change who u are to ur child and right now ur on the path to being exactly what he needs a great male role model.. so dont let that go not for your x or anyone..
2007-01-26 10:45:01 · answer #3 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue taking the high road and buying the cards for your son to give to his Mom. When your son gets older and realizes how his Mom really is, he will realize what you have done for him. He will always appreciate it and will hold you in a special place in his heart.
If things keep escalating between you and your ex, never ever say anything bad to your son about his Mom or put him in the middle between the two of you.
Keep taking the high road, keep being nice etc. Believe me, it will pay off in the long run.
2007-01-26 11:25:00 · answer #4 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats is very big of you and it is a good thing to teach your girls and it will make them a better person because you are a very nice man and its hard to do something for an ex but with kids involved your doing the right thing. Have them sign it and send it! they will always remember what you did for there mother later down the line and it will show them that too be a bigger person is a good thing.
2016-05-24 03:12:08 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Keep encouraging your son to write cards for his mommy. You will be setting a good example by being the bigger person in this situation, and you will show him that -- although his mommy may not like you so much -- you still feel that it is important to show her respect.
2007-01-26 10:38:08 · answer #6 · answered by wnk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're right, you are split. You do have to be a different person for your son and for your ex.
Continue to be a good influence on your son, keep that up. And fight when you have to on adult terms when your ex continues to hazzle you.
If your child enjoys this and gets excited over it, continue to do it, it enriches your relationship with him. He'll remember how nice you were to his mom. He'll become a man one day and he will take notice that it was because of you.
2007-01-26 10:45:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the cards are from him not you. You want to hurt her but if he gets really excited bring them to mommy you'll hurt him more. Keep telling yourself you are teaching your son to be a good person. And get your self a good lawyer and fight for custody of him. He needs the good parent raising him.
2007-01-26 10:52:47 · answer #8 · answered by Pandora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are doing the right thing getting your son to give his mother cards and nice drawings and stuff while he is with you.
i come from a broken home, and believe me when your son grows up he will thank you for being the grown up and being polite towards his mother when it would have been so easy to do what she is doing.
believe me kids remember everything.
your doing the right thing
2007-01-26 10:53:15 · answer #9 · answered by jenniflower 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure she doesn't do the same for you.
However, your son looks forward to this, so let him keep on doing it. As for the child support, look at the laws, you might be able to get it lowered.
2007-01-26 10:48:15 · answer #10 · answered by Brandy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋