I am 22. Independent and smart. I have my own place, i work full time, and am 10 weeks pregnant. I am a white female, and the babys father is black. Me and him are "together" but more friends than anything else. He seems to be very excited, and well im kind of excited myself.
But the real question is my family is very upset with the fact that he is black, that we have no intensions of getting married, and that i am having the baby at all. Should I let them impact my decision to keep the baby or not? Im kind of hoping they will come around sooner or later, right now at this time, they have said they disown me.
2007-01-26 10:26:17 · 12 answers · asked by misskaykai 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I had a couisin that was in that situation. She was white and he was black. My family resented her for it for the longest time. It was so bad when her dad found out that she had to called the police because he went over the deep end. Sadly she had a misscarriage at 10 weeks, I think. My grandmother even threated to take her off her will. But the moment they found out that she had a miscarriage they were really hurt. They had just started to accept the fact the it was her life and if thats how she chose to live it then they couldn't stop her.
Don't abort the baby because they are upset. It is your life live it how you please. It doesn't matter what the world may think. Give it time and they will eventually get over it. Once they see that they have a precious grandchild then nothing else will matter to them. Plus if you were to abort the baby or even give it up for adoption you will always wonder what you baby would be like and you would live in reget for the rest of your life. Just think, you think you are excited at 10 weeks, girl wait until your ultrasound when you get to see him or her move and you should be able to hear it's little heartbeat now. You can even get a 3d/4d ultrasound done after 20 weeks and you will get to see the baby as if it were right in front of you. The further you go the more excited you get and the more you realize how much of a blessing it is to be carrying a little life inside of you that you created....
Worry about yourself and your baby, and nothing else will matter. Good luck..
2007-01-26 10:54:32 · answer #1 · answered by EMT_B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry your family would put you in that position. That baby is a part of that family and they must accept that. Even if you guys do not want to remain together, it sounds like he wants a part in the babies life. In the end it is you who should make the decision. If your family would disown you over something like that I don't know that they were truly family in the first place. I'm sorry but it is my opinion. They do not have to like it but a true family loves their family no matter what. Especially if it has anything to do with race. My cousins are black and I am German and Indian. Why in the world do they have to see black and white and not see a baby and a mother and father. You are an adult and that is that. A family should never make a mother choose between them or her child. Do not let them impact your decision. It is you and the fathers choice. It is your body and you feel the changes of your body every day. From the sounds of it it might be difficult for you, but I think you are an adult and a family shouldn't put that on their other family. I just couldn't imagine. I wish you all the luck in the world no matter your decision.
12 weeks and 5 days pregnant.
2007-01-26 10:42:13 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I were 19 and 20, not married yet, and I became pregnant. Our families were a NIGHTMARE my whole pregnancy. It was a fight everyday. My mother in law wanted me to abort. My parents HATED my hubby and told me they didnt care if we had to live in a dumpster. I was too sick to work, and my husband had just lost his job. We hadnt even gotten our own place yet. NO ONE was supportive of us, but we KNEW what we wanted, and that was to be together and raise our child. It was hard, I was super sick, I bawled every day, and for a while there, we thought we were gonna end up homeless. But we refused to give up. The way i see it is, when you have sex, you always know a baby is a possibility, and if it happens, you have to take responsibility for your actions. Today, I am 21, my husband is 22, and our beautiful daughter Brooklyn is almost 2 years old. Our relationships with our families changed completely the second they laid eyes on her, and have grown better by the day as they see what a great job we are doing. My point is, screw what other people think. You made this baby, enjoy it. Things may be hard now, but if you try, they can be wonderful beyond your dreams. Hang in there, and do what you know is right. Check out my page at www.myspace.com/rachelemonique and see the slideshow. If that doesnt make you wanna be a mama, i dont know what will, lol. Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-26 11:55:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 24 and just had my 1st child. If I were you I would not let them impact my decision. You have your own place and are supporting yourself. What does he do? Can the two of you afford a child? My boyfriend and I are together and we moved into our own apartment when the month before my daugther was born. Right now I do not work and he pays all the rent. I collect unemployment cause my last job let me go so I buy the groceries and diapers. Let me tell you...diapers are not cheap and they go fast. I buy the mega pack of huggies. That's 88 diapers for $18. I usually buy 2 of them....they are gone in about 2 1/2 weeks...give or take!
The point however was that if I were you i would think more about whether or not you can afford a child and not whether or not they approve of his being black.
And if you cared what your parents thought, you shouldn't have been dating a black man anyway. So you must not care....so I say have the baby. I'm not pro-abortion.....except for in the event that you cannot afford the baby. But you said you work full time and have your own place so depending on what HE does, you should be able to afford a child.
But again, just think about whether or not you can afford to support this child. I wouldn't care what my parents thought. It's YOUR child. not theirs. And once the kid is born, they just might come around....but if not...just be happy and raise your baby. If it takes them til she's 3 to come around, so be it.....they'll probably love her/him once the baby arrives.
2007-01-26 10:41:55 · answer #4 · answered by rainbowdympiece 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart, it will be hard and yeah that boy is there now and is excited by being excited can't raise a baby not saying that he is going to leave. Really yall need to sit down and have a serious conversation and know what each other intentions are I don't have kids but my sister has 5 and my mom had 3 of them in her custody. Its hard but i think that your parents will not disown you a child is the most presious thing in the world. If you don't call on god the next best person is moma. If you think your ready have the baby and raise that child to the best of your ability.- Good luck-
2007-01-26 12:30:57 · answer #5 · answered by real_diamond 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister was in a similar situation last year. My mom was very upset over her pregnancy, and ultimately, my sister had an abortion. However, I don't think that your family should get most of the say in your life. You need to do what is best for you, and if you want to keep the baby, then you should, and hopefully your parents will come around later. Goodluck to you, and I wish you the best with whatever you decide!
2007-01-26 10:39:34 · answer #6 · answered by *Logan's Mommy* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice to you is not to worry about what other people think. your the one that has to deal with the situation. if you both sit down and talk about what your going to do and come to an understanding on taking care of this child, then don't worry! your family will come around. my dad was upset with me when he found out i was pregnant by someone that was a "loser" now he loves my daughter. Your an independent women and it sounds like you have your stuff together. If you feel happy, go for it. I'm a single mom, and i LOVE being a mom! good luck to you.
2007-01-26 11:12:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I am sorry your family is being so hurtful. I think you should trust your heart, and and follow your instincts. You should never be swayed by ignorance, even if it comes from those we love. Hopefully they will come around and love you unconditionally as they should. Either way, you and your boyfriend will have a beautiful child and make a family of your own.
2007-01-26 10:40:19 · answer #8 · answered by Mama23 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
F%ck you fam if they cant respect your decision as an independent grown women then you don't need them, my grand father was the same was I'm puerto rican he told me if i brought home a black baby that he would lay is in the street and mistake it for tar....my b/f is black and white......our daughter is going 2 b as mixed as they come and i couldn't b happier.....
2007-01-26 10:46:01 · answer #9 · answered by devoe442004 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They shouldn't have anything to do with your decision to keep the baby or not....It should only be what you think is right
2007-01-30 09:15:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋