My totally gorgeous, 17 year old daughter wants to have s-e-x with a few different guys she met at her school. - I think it's fine but other people have told her different. How should I handle this?
2007-01-26 10:14:48 · 29 answers · asked by MommahDiane 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You should teach your daughter about self-respect doesnt sound to me like she has any... and as far as you thinking its ok to have sex with more than 1 guy exspecially at 17..whats wrong with you? you should go to parenting classes..but hey maybe in nine months you and your daughter can both go..if you know what i mean
2007-01-26 10:19:53 · answer #1 · answered by me 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Everybody's jumping down your throat for saying that you think it is fine for her to have sex with a few guys. I am a little hesitant to join in the criticism even though I think it is wrong to encourage a 17-year-old to have recreational sex (several guys?). A few years ago, the editor of the school newspaper in my town wrote an essay to parents telling them that by senior year, every single senior has had a sexual experience. He just stated it as fact. There was absolutely no reaction from parents. Either no one read the essay because it was the school newspaper section of the local paper or else they just will never talk about it.
Anyway, maybe one reason you think it is fine is that you know your daughter is gorgeous and so you figure no one will take advantage of her low self-esteem and exploit her since her self-esteem is high. Another reason you may think it's fine is you have a sense that it is true that every single kid your daughter knows is having sex or has had sex.
You should handle this by taking the high road; tell her that she has plenty of time ahead in life to find the right person to have a really meaningful relationship with. Since she is gorgeous, when she does find that right person, she probably will have a willing partner and someone who cares deeply about her. All the casual sex she's talking about, and you are approving, is just guys getting laid.
2007-01-30 09:03:57 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think it's fine?! No wonder she wants to have sex with a few different guys she met at school--her mother doesn't place many boundaries on her! Tell her, "That's nice, but NOOOOOOOOO!!! It's really a no-brainer. What's your husband think about it? Yeah, I thought so; the apple doesn't far from the tree.
First, make sure she knows the facts: risk of pregnancy, STDs that can kill or make her sterile, falling for the guy and getting hurt.....Then, put her on the pill if she isn't already on it. Also, make sure SHE carries a condom with her everywhere in case she's tempted again and doesn't have you around to plan the evening. How many times may she have done this and you don't know about it? Perhaps if you didn't place her looks at such a high value, she wouldn't be thinking of doing this, either.
2007-01-26 10:25:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Fast forward a year, two years, etc.
Then the talks you have with your daughter are going to revolve around:
1. Why does everyone treat her like a slut?
2. "Mom, I have blisters down there, and they won't go away, why is that?"
3. You're going to be arguing about why she keeps going out all the time and leaving you to babysit her kid that she never wanted to begin with.
Sorry folks, but this is what the age of feminism has given us.
If there was a father in the house, (and I KNOW there isn't) this wouldn't happen.
But it does, because females think the only thing important about childrearing is that "they know I love them"
Sorry, not good enough. Because the real world doesn't work that way, and THAT is what men teach their children.
2007-01-26 10:26:31 · answer #4 · answered by dork 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
First of all, this is NOT fine. She is NOT married and has no source of support for the problems she will encounter as a result of having sex. . . and I'm not talking about the obvious STDs, pregnancy, etc. Sex is not just a physical act and YOU should know that. It is emotional, spiritual, psychological, and a hundred other things. Having sex will lower her self respect, her self esteem, and make her feel worthless when the guy takes off (as he will. . . I know you have experienced that).
So my question to you is, why would you ALLOW her to put herself through the hell she will go through just so you can be a "cool" mom. God forbid! She DOESN'T need that kind of Mom. She needs one who sets boundaries and rules so that she will mature, learn responsibility and accountability.
2007-01-26 11:55:39 · answer #5 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So your son is gay and your "beautiful" daughter wants to have sex with some guys. Screwed up family! I would be ashamed to have a daughter like that. One at a time! What if all three don;t use a comdom. Why are you allowing her to do that! Let her do better things with her life. Other people are right and you are wrong!
~ Kristin ♥
2007-01-26 10:49:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Word will spread as fast as her legs.
Tell her if she is willing to play she better be willing to pay.
If she gets pregnant then there goes her gorgeous life out the window. She is 17. I know it is her life and you are OK with it.
If you are not willing to be a grandmama then make sure she is on the pill, not the shot, it is not the greatest protection. My daughter and her friends all were on the shot...9 our of 10 got pregnant.
2007-01-26 10:44:03 · answer #7 · answered by jeeccentricx2 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a totally, gorgeous daughter who will be passed around like a piece of cheap meat .... and laughed at by both guys and girls....and guess why she thinks that kind of disrespect is okay.... from her sleazy mother. And one day when she wants a decent guy to love and respect her.... what do you think her chances will be. Shame, shame , shame on you. A cat is a better mother.
2007-01-26 10:25:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
gee, if only everyone's mother was as good a mother as you are... i mean, what's a few STDs and unwanted pregnancies? In the grand scheme of things, your daughter will be much happier with AIDS, herpes, and 3 babies, then she would've ever been being a virgin, baby-less, and healthy.
get a life.. i've looked at your other questions, and if you're actaully a middle-aged mom (which i doubt) you need to see a therapist ASAP.
on the other hand, if you're just a stupid little 13-year-old kid (which i suspect), you need to get off of the computer, and go to your bedroom. it's WAAY past your bedtime.
2007-01-26 11:42:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This cannot be a legit question, I can't imagine any Mom feeling like it's okay for her daughter to have sex with "a few different guys." Unless of course you have some sort of mental problem or were/are sexually promiscuous yourself. In that case don't transfer your issues to your daughter.
2007-01-26 10:22:25 · answer #10 · answered by nimo22 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋