So here's the deal. We're all in high school and I have a very tight group of friends. My group represents the upper portion of my class in terms of inteligence (not to sound cocky but we're sort of the "nerds") and we make up the student government. To my utter surprise I learned that on of my close friends had feelings for another of our friends (I didn't believe it at first). And they are actually going out. But the thing is that i am only one of about five people that know this. They don't want anyone to know because her parents are traditional asian parents and are strictly against high school relationships. Last night, i was utterly surpirsed when he decied to tell me about this. And i figured that the only reason he is telling me this is so that he can get help to make sure how his realtionship can last. He said he really enjoys the way its going right now. Do you have any suggestions for their situation?
2007-01-26 10:02:14 · 11 answers · asked by ny355zz145ny355zz145 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
very insightful, teresathegreat
2007-01-26 10:34:40 · update #1
What happens is really up to your two friends, not to you. What you should do is keep quiet and keep the secret your friend has told you.
It doesn't sound like he asked you for any advice on "how to make it last." All you were was a good listener (we hope). Leave it at that. People date in high school. Big deal. Most don't end up as husband and wife. They are just getting experience in the dating game, period.
(Oh, and by the way, don't take your position in your high school class too seriously. All cliques are just temporary in nature and collapse just prior to graduation or shortly thereafter. And cliques are not equivalent to true friends.)
2007-01-26 10:39:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting. I had a similar group of friends in high school (and ten years later we're still tight, so hold on to your friends!).
They can't hide their relationship forever, nor should they have to. The thing to do is to find out why their parents object to high school relationships, address those concerns, and face the parents openly about it. Possible objections: romance will distract them from their academics; teenage romance can easily lead to sexual activity and pregnancy; many relationships fall apart after high school (causing heartbreak and poor decision-making).
The couple probably has it in their favor that they have been going out for months without showing any of these ill effects, but the parents will probably be too upset by being kept in the dark to appreciate it. If your friends feel they can talk to their parents, they should; otherwise, they should consider enlisting the help of a sympathetic adult (preferably another Asian parent, who can talk to their parents from a shared point of view) who can back them up.
Your group sounds like good, responsible kids, so parents are willing to be more understanding of such minor trangressions when they remember that you could be smoking, drinking, in gangs, flunking out, cutting yourselves, etc. Continue displaying your maturity, and good luck to your friends!
2007-01-26 10:18:11 · answer #2 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My one best friend (who is Indian) liked this guy (who was white) while they were in High School. It was mutual. Her dad was against the whole thing and it ended up not working because he found out about it. Best thing they can do is not let the parents know about the relationship. But, how do the parents feel about dating after high school? And, are they against her dating guys who are not of the asian persuasion (hey, that rhymes too!)?
They can always elope.
2007-01-26 10:13:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never tell a secret to anyone unless you want the secret found out. Your friend will find that eventually his secret will leak and then there will be trouble. The young girl in question could be in serious jeopardy with her parents.
2007-01-26 10:09:06 · answer #4 · answered by Monkey Lips 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how they feel, i am in that situation right now. Tell them to keep it in the school and if on weekends, meet outside the house. Tell them i say good luck.
2007-01-26 10:10:31 · answer #5 · answered by girlygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nerds can only rule the future if you leave the sex and partying to dumb ones and you guys stick to school activities.
2007-01-26 10:10:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Respect their decision and don’t tell anyone. Just be there for them, that’s what friends are for..
2007-01-26 10:14:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think there is a problem with their situation. but just be their friend stay out of their business.
2007-01-26 10:15:47 · answer #8 · answered by ebbs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they know what they are doing and I am sure they will make the right decision
2007-01-26 10:13:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to make sure he doesn't get her pregnant.
2007-01-26 10:08:04 · answer #10 · answered by green_baby_dragon 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋