hey, my friend (the guy) got his 14 year old girlfriend pregnant. Im worried about the guy, He has been with her for ALONBG time, he loves her and would do anything for her. They plan on gettn married when shes 16 in nevada. What should he do untill than..he lives in california. Thanks alot guys.
please dont call him names n stuff either, he really loves this girl, they are completely mature about thier relationship. Shes keeping the baby. any advice??? He doesnt have internet so im sorry you couldnt talk to him personally. (;
2007-01-26 09:59:33 · 26 answers · asked by Justin F 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I just think that you should know that having a child changes everything trust me i know i am young and am married and have a child. So just tell them to make sure that they are marrying for the right reasons because the child will test their relationship and she should think about how this is going to affect her family because she is so young. She will also have to think about school and how she is going to finish, full time day care and having a job. There are many young couples who are mature about their relationships but you must also think about the pressures and sacrifices that they are going to have to make. Trust me dear i am not here to judge anyone but i am glad that she is deciding to keep the baby, but she must face the reality that she will not be able to do the things that many youngsters her age do. She will have to take full responsibility for her child. marriage does not change things and just so you know, it is illegal for him to even be seeing her and that is statutory rape and he could go to jail. no judgement just fact. Just tell her to keep her head up and to keep her eyes open to the harsh realities of being a parent and for her boyfriend it is the same thing he needs to look at the reality of what a baby means if you do not have any help and just each other. What are the family's views on the matter does her parents know and how are they taking it and that is on both sides. You have to think about that. Babies are expensive and just for a pack of diapers is $10.00 and formula is $20.00 so dear heart i feel for you and just want you to look at the reality that you have to do a lot of sacrificing and alot of growing up really really fast. I will keep you in my prayers. Good luck. God Bless
2007-01-26 10:25:41 · answer #1 · answered by finderofthering 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's great that your friend loves her and is willing to stand by her.My question to you is,how do the girls parent feel about everything?If they have been aware of the two of them seeing each other,then they probably knew or had an idea that sooner or later she would get pregnant.If they didn't know or didn't like the idea of her seeing him from the start,he might be looking at child molestation or rape charges.Her being a minor,there isn't anything that she can say or do to stop it from happening.It's all up to her parents as to how this will or should be handled.
As for him marrying her,there is at the least another whole year to go until this can happen.I think he needs to focus on what's going on right now and see where things end up.She's still very young.There's no need to think that much ahead.
2007-01-26 10:21:49 · answer #2 · answered by tiger_lover_1975 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
quite hard to give u an answer... it's very personnal
Solution 1 : keep the baby
1. look for special school for teenager mom,
2. the 21 y o boy is he enough mature to get a job to earn money?
3. and what about the girls parents? they are normaly responsible of their daughter until she is able to live alone
Solution 2 : abortion
1. make it quite easier in the way that she will have a nomaller life of teenager
2. nevertheless, there is the psychic issue
3. and what about religion? is she believer?
So as you can see, there are still too many questions to get you a simple answer... but normally the first thing to do is to get in a special place for tennager mum... there, you will get much more answer than i can give to you...
2007-01-26 10:14:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Thats a really tough situation, I am surprised that a 21 year old would be interested in a 14 year old, but that is beside the point, I am interested in knowing if the parents are involved with these 2 kids and what their outlook is on it. Maybe if they are all ok with it, they could get married now with the permission of the girls parents, but they really should wait. getting married does not fix things like that, if he loves her the way you say he does and is going to stay with her then marriage can wait until she is of legal age.
2007-01-26 10:11:12 · answer #4 · answered by ♥shannon c♥ 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
She's 14, she is a girl. A 21 year old man should not be with a 14 year old girl. If I was her mother I would call the police. I would check with the state of California to see if he could be arrest.
2007-01-26 10:10:38 · answer #5 · answered by Halo Mom 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
What a great situation! Don't be critical at all, her life will be more wonderful than any other for the next 60 years! She can look forward to Medi-Cal, no job prospects, and maybe some day trailer park living!!!
Congratulations to her! Don't anyone be negative about this! It won't help! Tell her what a great situation she's in! And marry the guy when she turns 16!!! What a brilliant masterstroke!
2007-01-26 10:10:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
I have a friend who was never baptized as a baby,so when she was 14,her parents had her baptized at Easter vigil and her and all the other girls had to wear the poofy,white,short sleeve,top of the knees baptism dresses with a bonnet,lace anklets,white mary jane shoes and a cloth diaper and plastic pants and tee shirt under their dresses.After her party her boy friend who was 16,took her to his house and his parents were gone.He took her baptism dress of of her,then her tee shirt and the diaper and plastic pants and they had intercourse and she wound up pregnent!She had a baby boy nine months later and gave it up for adoption!
2016-09-15 02:00:38 · answer #7 · answered by amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No names??? He deserves to be in jail. At 21 he should have been the mature one. Instead he romanced a CHILD. In other words he is a PEDOPHILE.
She needs a close family to help her through this. Parenting classes wouldn't hurt either.
2007-01-26 10:18:40 · answer #8 · answered by zinntwinnies 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
its me in a different account ANSWERING SOME QUESTIONS
i know this is going to sound crazy..but heres the story (and no people im not the boyfriend) Her parents are major drug addicts. Her mom told her to keep the baby (it was a planned pregnancy, its totally obvious they want welfare and such) When they actually got together she told him she was 17 3/4 of age. They fell in love, believe me..its REALLY love. Her parents love the boyfriend..they would never press charges. My friend is completely clean guy, never did drugs..doesnt drink..has a great life..hes in love with her..when he found out her age he did freak out, but he was jsut too in love with her to give up on the relationship..trust me..hes not some pedaphile..you cant help who you fall in love with (especially if you think they are older, and she REALLY looks 19) They just want to get married in nevada when she is 16, start a life..his mom took her in because of her drugged parents..shes lived theyre for 1/ 1/2 years..and exelling in school now..got off probation..completely turned her life around for the better. This relationship thing will be a hardship for them both im sure..but i dont want to hear bad judgements all on the father of this kid..you didnt know the circumstances. Anyways..i really appreciate the answers, especially the mature ones. Think about the laws before 1960..how many guys..were with younger girls??? what about the 1800's..how many guys and girls in such a HUGE age difference got pawned off for a fixed marriage? Its jus the laws..not god..so the peaphile thing is out of the question for him. He has never had a young girlfriend..ever..he just fell in love with a girl who lied because she had a crush..but it turned out that both of them are truly in love..now what can he do to stay out of trouble..just lay really low untill shes 16?
also i just called him, his mom is completelt okay with it..nobody on both sides will be pressing charges...if she turns 18..can the law still get him for past crime?
2007-01-26 16:35:47 · answer #9 · answered by justin f 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well, considering he is a felon, he should probably lay low for a few years. I'm not going to call him names (other than felon) but how can he be serious about loving a child? He's an adult and needs to start acting like one.
I'm trying to temper my emotions here, but since I have a young daughter, statutory rape doesn't sit well with me.
My advice to you is sever ties with your "friend". His problems are only beginning.
2007-01-26 10:13:41 · answer #10 · answered by kungfufighter20002001 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋