I do love my wife but I keep making decisions without her. This is hurting our relationship and I do it again and again. She tries so hard to make it work and I just keep ignoring her. Why can't I just call her on the phone when I have a decision to make and include her?
2007-01-26 09:51:33 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You had better start learning how to communicate with her or she will get fed up with it and after so many years of it, .....it will get the best of her and that will be just one of the decisions that will be based on whether she stays with you or not. I know 'cause I've been there....... It is so hurtful..........
I know you must be talking about the important decisions like car buying, worthless spending of expenses on yourself (gadgets), stereos, etc. Better wake up!........ She will hold it all in and after a few years....like I said......that will be based on a decision that she makes.
Start communicating........
2007-01-26 10:47:00 · answer #1 · answered by So_real 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be hard to let go. If you made all your own decisions for all the time before you met her, during dating and now, you may just be in the habit. But making an effort to change in the ways you want for things you want is what marriage is about. And when the changes you make ar good for the marriage, good things happen.
How's your sex life? If she feels undermined, unincluded and untrusted, i doubt she puts out muchand if she does shes just trying to please you and she may not be into it. Do you want to share a bed with someone who feels obligated?
Baby steps here though. Ask what she wants for dinner one day. Then what movie to see. then later you can progress into money decisions and houses and cars and children...
Just when you make a decision at least call and aask her opinion, you might find that she wants the same things but can never tell you because you go ahead without her.
2007-02-02 02:13:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe most men have this same dilemma. It is hard to change when you're used to doing things your way. By asking for help you have already made a start. Just try to be mindful of your wife whenever a decision is called for. All you can do is try. Explain to your wife that you are trying but old habits are hard to break. She'll appreciate the effort.
2007-02-01 04:47:07 · answer #3 · answered by adondeesta1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try it slowly at first... Try calling her tomorrow about something simple like asking her what she would like for dinner and pick it up for you and her to share it together... This will make her feel good that she could make a decision and that you agreed to it. If you want to buy something like a car... Take her with you to look at it and see how she feels and what her thoughts are on it and take her feelings and thoughts into consideration before making any final decision. If you cannot change and have a problem doing so you will need counseling and help for it.
2007-01-26 10:25:27 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your use of doing things on your own?You need to think before you do.In the way you could do that is by repeating it over in over.Tell your self my wife, my wife, my wife like do it 5 or 10 X's in a roll, then later on do it again and again. I know this works because I had to do it. I had a problem calling my boyfriend my ex name. I had it bad.In sometimes I still do, but it don't come out of my month. I learned how to think before I said. It's about training your mind. If you don't start now your always going to do this. It starts with YOUR MIND. Your the only one can help yourself. In trust me you think your hurting your relationship now, just think years from now it will get worse.Go buy ten stupid things couple do to mess up their lives by Dr.Laura C. Schlessinger.
2007-01-26 10:18:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ah slight case of man syndrome !!
Find a way to break out of your lonely little cycle before she give you the finger. (by doing this over and over you are be-littling the women you love)
She must be too easy on you if you keep forgetting to include her. If she pounded you into the middle of next week would you forget her then !! JOKE......
Honestly - if she made you suffer, your behaviour would change. Tell her to kick you into touch next time you do it and for her demand the respect she deserves.
2007-01-26 10:04:59 · answer #6 · answered by bambam 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You don't love her- love is sharing, caring, stop being an egoistic person- if you don't really love her than divorce her so she can find a real man that can love her.
2007-01-26 10:13:40 · answer #7 · answered by Taz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try that in a mirror, why are you not talking to her right now, instead of playing on the computer?
Did anyone ever tell what marriage is about, it is a partnership.
2007-01-26 10:06:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Depends....what kind of decisions? What flavor of wings to get or what kind a car to buy....tell us more.
2007-01-26 09:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to ask yourself if you honestly value her opinion and input, it sounds like you really don't.
2007-01-26 10:11:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋