how can me and my husband laugh again?

Question

When we were dating we laughed so much it was almost unbearable. Now it's hard for me to get him to laugh at all, there's lots of problems out there, *his mother's sickness, we're as poor as dirt, and his father's workman's comp hasn't come in so we're paying for most of their bills* but still, i miss laughing. I laugh more with my friends, and it makes me heart-sick.

His mother has cancer, his father had a back surgury and can't work until at least april. I work at long john silver's from 8 to 3 every day. (just to bring in some food and gas money.) I just want him to be happy.

Answer 1

Hang in there. Looking at the big picture, tough times are short phases in a long lifetime. Perhaps you and hubby can go out for a couple drinks or rent a funny movie (or watch American Idol tryouts) or comedy shows on tv to help tide you over until the stress eases some. It'll get better.

Answer 2

Oh, Im so sorry, sounds like you are going through alot right now. One thing I have learned over the years, and Yes, we have had our share of problems, trust me...we have been poor, my father in law is not in good health, people trying to cause us trouble, etc. we have been there. So I do understand...I think a lot of marriages go through this phase. But the thing I have learned, is, even when we had no money, family members were sick, or whatever, we still had each other....and that is why we were married in the first place...Each Other! I know its easier said then done, but I can almost guarnetee your husband misses laughing with you also. Im sure he is stressed out. Sit him down and talk to him, do some things to rekindle that spark, Tell him how much you miss him, tell him you miss the laughter, say it in a kind and caring way, tell him how you felt when you first met him, how you fell in love with him..This will show him that you are still so very much in love with him, and You need him and you need that back. Us women are pretty emotional, men are to, when it comes right down to it, they just dont realize it, But once you kinda have a sweet and romantic talk, see if that kinda helps.
I know its hard...Hang in there..This all will pass, and you will get back on your feet someday...
Wishin you the best...

Answer 3

Take him out to a funny movie or on a fun date.... Can your mother inlaw get some kind of medical insurance you maybe you can get it for her and that may be cheaper then alot of medical bills. Maybe you should get employment if you are not currently working as this may be of some help to him and the bills.... Could his mom get on Medicaid or Medicare at all if they dont have much money coming in? Just a thought .... I wish you the best and hope this gets better for all of you soon... Here comes lots of hugs today...... By the way what is your mother in law sick with and how did his dad get hurt and when does it look like he may be able to go back to work? How old are they?

Answer 4

Marriage isn't all about laughter. I do want to express my sympathies for all that you and he have gone through lately. If you can both make it through these difficult times together you will be a stronger couple for it. You can't make him be happy. If he's concerned about his parents' illnesses that is a legitimate concern and certainly not something to laugh off.

Right now your husband needs your support and understanding most of all. That said, life does go on and I get that you want to break him out of his mood. Try surprising him with special dates, visiting places you used to love, etc. Offer to rub his back or his feet. Volunteer at church or find kids to babysit. If he likes children, having them around will remind him of the hope and joy this world has to offer. Besides, children are always doing something funny! Pets serve a similar purpose. Take up an active hobby with him- join a gym or do bike riding or kickboxing. Exercise increases adrenaline and endorphins and lifts your mood.

If you are concerned that his depression is serious, he may benefit from seeing a doctor or counselor.

Answer 5

You are both under a lot of stress and it is hard to laugh under those conditions.

You can help lighten his load by being more sympathetic regarding his concerns (mom, finances, dad) and maybe encouraging him to talk about them with you. Sometimes just sharing these makes a man feel better.

He probably feels inadequate because he cannot make enough money to cover all the money-needs. Make the effort to reassure him that HE is always enough for you.

Be playful as you make dinner together. Grab his butt and make flirty, playful looks at him. I do this with my husband and it helps break the tension. If he doesn't respond initially, do be patient. He might not know what to make of it at the start. Make an effort to keep things light. Even adding a cheerful touch to your voice might make the world of difference to him.

Sign up at a local library that lends out videos for free. You can make a "date night" out of watching funny movies and preparing chips and dip or popcorn.

Look to what made you laugh with him in the first place. These will provide you with clues as to what will work.

Good luck!

Answer 6

You guys are under a ton of stress, I am so sorry, I had a really bad year 2006, two deaths it was hard to feel good again, but you will, all this stuff will pass. Try some outside stimulation, like intentionally watch comedy programs or movies, avoid tear-jerkers, or dark things. Avoid any negativity that you can. this sounds crazy, but if you do not have a pet, a puppy would really bring some joy to your home, and it would give you both something to nurture and focus on instead of your problems.

Answer 7

What a shame. Your question makes me feel so sad~~~~~.
Your husband has a burden that makes it hard to laugh !!
He's hurting and because he is, you are~~~~.
That my Dear is real love~~~.
Tell your husband how much you love him and how you all as a family will make it through this. Build him up. Make him feel good about what he is doing. Tell him how much you miss the laughter that you once shared and how you want to recapture that. The burdens will still be there but the weight of them will be so much lighter. Give your problems to Our Father, talk to him and I can tell you it is amazing how much better it can make you feel~~~. Encourage your husband with your upbeat personality that I feel you have, since you love to laugh, and laughter has such healing effects. You are a lovely woman and I trust that flows from the inside out as well as you take in the love of those around you~~.
I want to wish you and yours a brighter future and ask-----
God to Bless You in your daily walk.~~~~~~Jill

Answer 8

I feel for you. The problem is, you're so mired in all that's serious you have a hard time lightening up. Try watching some funny movies, or going for a walk. You may want to look for some good jokes to tell. If you are light hearted, he'll follow suit.

Answer 9

Many couples, once the courtship ends, don't take time to nurture their relationships. You need to reestablish and then religiously observe a date night...even if you don't do anything more than go sit on the porch and reminisce.

It doesn't have to cost money. Most of the best things in life cannot be bought anyway.

"Keep your chin up. There'll be happiness in Nottingham again, you'll see." --Robin Hood, Disney, 1953

Answer 10

I think you need to take some time and remember who you were. A fun loving couple with nothing else to worry about but making each other happy. Life is hard and it can get you down but sometimes i think you need to just take a break from all the **** and just remember ...you love each other and thats the funniest thing there is