apart from one problem,in 2004 i got my husband a £2000 loan for his parents in greece,witch im paying over 5 years.last year i got him £3000 again for his parents ,from my parents witch he pays back every week i do have a bit of dept myself ie .bills and visas.i love this man and i know he loves me ,now he wants us to get another £5000 witch i think is really selfish but he wont take no for an answer he does bring home full time wages every week,i work part time and have a 6 year old son.at the moment we surrvie but if we take on more debt idont know what i will do.my husband also drinks every weekend so when i say i dont want more debt he gets angry.i got married to be happy but hasent worked that way.hope you understand were im coming from.and give me some advise.
2007-01-26 09:34:59 · 20 answers · asked by houney 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you're in debt and he's out wasting money on drink every weekend, it doesn't seem he shares your priorities. It is hard for me to think you are happy with someone who acts so selfishly.
Sorry to say, but sometimes, love isn't enough. Resposibilty goes a long way, too. Think of the long-term effects this will have on your child. Since you have a son, he will likely identify a lot with dad and pick up his attitudes and habits regarding money.
Given your situation, if he gets angry when you say you don't want any more debt, this is a sign of wanting to deny the problem. Another sign of irresponsibility and immaturity. Also, think about how much YOU value yourself if you are willing to put up with his behavior and his propensity for debt.
Good Luck, Hon'. If he truly does love you, he will be willing to get some help OR come to accept reality by himself and be more supportive of you. Maybe the best solution is to get out of it while you're not completely buried in debt...for your sake and your son's.
2007-01-26 10:26:00 · answer #1 · answered by MamaBearKnowzz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are afraid to make him angry by saying no, than I think you have more problems than just the money. Stick to your guns and don't borrow anymore for him. A full time job doesn't qualify him to ruin your financial stability and record.
Try talking to him about it when you are both calm - and bring it up yourself. Tell him that you worry about not being able to pay back another loan. Remind him that you two are a team, and that you need to work together to keep the family running.
2007-01-26 10:17:37 · answer #2 · answered by eurovac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really love your life?Married life that is. According to Catholics it is wrong to divorce, and it probably isn't fair to your son. So what can you do? Make sure your husband stops drinking and if he ever hurts you or your son, definaltly go to a marriage counciler. As for your debt, slowly pay it off and don't get in anymore.
I hope everything turns out okay.
2007-01-26 09:48:15 · answer #3 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, why doesn't he take a loan in his name if he wants it so bad.
If you're not careful, you will end up being broke and alone with your son.
You need to talk to your husband about what he needs the loan for. Find out if it is something that he really needs or is it just something whimsical.
2007-01-26 09:45:11 · answer #4 · answered by green_baby_dragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I may sound selfish but his parents need to figure out how to get themselves out of debt. When you get married your husbands family is you and your little one. He has no responsibility to take care of his parents. If he gets mad so be it. Dont put your family at any risks for anyone. Good luck
2007-01-26 09:41:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how u feel. Everyone thinks when u first get into marriage it should be all about love. But it shouldnt be, consider all the other aspects to him. In my opinion, he needs help. Talk to him when he is sober, if he still doesnt understand, honey u are better off.
2007-01-26 09:41:49 · answer #6 · answered by girlygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
possibly you're in a mid existence disaster. possibly you experience such as you're lacking out on a number of the stable situations which you had with that individual. it is not against the regulation to bear in mind somebody. basically ensure to bear in mind which you're with somebody else now and which you're springing up an entire new set of techniques and stable situations.
2016-11-27 20:38:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you and respects because he brings the full wages... Be more straight and forward u r a kind of wife who is a puppet in ur hubby's hands... go a step ahead and be bold...
He loves u, so u can also take shot of his love....
maddy-wItH lOvE
2007-01-26 09:47:19 · answer #8 · answered by mashwar_ra_g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would not give any more, if he wants to give something to his parents, let him go out and find the money,,,,,, you have already gotten two loans for them, and it seems to be increasing in amount each year,,,,,,, are they elderly and in bad health? do they have no other children? if that was the case,,,,, then finding a solution to their money problems might be something for you to consider,,,,,, it wouldnt mean sending them more money, but perhaps finding them a place to live that they could afford,,,,,,,, if they are not elderly , they should be taking care of themselves
2007-01-26 09:42:50 · answer #9 · answered by dlin333 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him gently, politely and firmly that you (and that includes him) can't afford more debt. And if he stops loving you because of this, move out, since his love for money is more than his love for you.
2007-01-26 09:42:39 · answer #10 · answered by Swamy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋