How do we continue living together now that we've broken up?

Question

We just moved into a new place where we are both on the lease, but neither one of us want to leave this new place. We were together for 4 years and I just can't deal with his unappreciativeness and freeloading. I was his g/f not momma

Answer 1

It depends on how maturely you can deal with the situation.
But it looks to me as if he doesn't have the level of maturity to make this work.

My parents were estranged from each other and they lived with each other for a long time before my mom left. They carried on as if they were roommates (they actually hardly talked unless necessary). See if you can sit down and talk to him as to making arrangements as roommates would.

Though if you stay with each other, this can create complications for future relationships. I can't imagine someone new tolerating his girlfriend's living with an ex. Would this be worth the new place?

Just a note: In "dealing with unappreciativeness" you may want to explore the concept of "inner validation." Though it's nice to be appreciated, you can find the resources within yourself to reinforce your self-worth.

Answer 2

So get your name off the lease by paying your share or whatever you will have to pay and move out. Otherwise, he's going to keep freeloading. He has just as much of a right to be there as you do since he is on the lease. The fun part is that once you leave and he can't afford it, he gets booted and sued since you aren't on the lease!

Answer 3

Try talking to the management first and see what your options are. If nothing else, leave. If he won't and you can't take him anymore, let him know you're moving out and he'll have to find a way to deal with it. If he's freeloading, he won't be able to stay anyway and then you can do what you want. I never advise anyone to stay somewhere they aren't happy in.

Answer 4

While this isn't the most helpful answer - Have you watched Jennifer Aniston's "The Breakup". Same deal.
Don't drag things out, find a way to break the lease by saving face or find a new Renter or roommate so one of you can move out....

Answer 5

My advice? Move out.

I was in a similar situation.. Was with a man for 4 years, bought a house with him, planned to get married, etc etc. Well, 3 months after we moved in to our new home, I found out he'd been sleeping with some little highschool girl, and SHE was pregnant with his child. I moved out the same day I found out ; I was so disgusted.

Nothing good can come from the two of you living in the same house, like this. Leave. It's for the best.

Answer 6

If you pay the lease and move out, the landlord will probably let him stay since the lease was satisfied, but he would not have your fridge to eat out of or your bed to sleep in.

Answer 7

if you continue to live together isn't he technically still freeloading??? buy your way out of the lease if you have to and move out and on.

Answer 8

It won't work if you don't talk to him about it. I personally don't think it is going to work either way. I mean what about when you guys start dating other people and want them to come over. The best thing to do is find somewhere else and go.

Answer 9

well, my parents are divorced and they are fine together even if they don't live together. What I am trying to say is talk to him more or watch the Football game. Do whatever to make him talk to you. It will work out fine.

Answer 10

I hope you have 2 bedrooms, just live, don't worry about anything, you do your thing, let him do his thing, just make sure that all the bills are decided on before hand, and make sure that you two respect each other's privacy