My teenage daughter was bullied to the point of a suicide attempt, what actions are available as a parent?

Question

They have okd her to return to school, but we don't want to expose her to that cruelty again. What options do we have?

Answer 1

Just change the school so that they will be able to settle themselves in a different and more friendly environment,,,

Answer 2

Talk to the principal. talk to the board, make them take more action in watching the kids.

Seek a counselor and make weekly meetings with the counselor. Your daughter can talk about her feelings and what is happening at school with that counselor.

The only other option is taking your daughter out of school completely and home schooling her or moving a district.

This does sound like your daughter does have some emotional issues that maybe need to be discussed in depth so that another suicide attempt isn't made in her adult life.

A suicide attempt is not only an act of depression but it is a call for help. I know.. I've been there a lot. For being fat and stupid and beat up daily. Your daughter has to learn that she is strong and that she can get through this.

bullies can be shut down easily enough. I used to turn the insult back on them or laugh with them. If I did either then the bully would back off, mostly because they didn't have any more bravado and it took the fun out of it if I laughed with them. I learned not to care about what they said about me because I knew who I was. I let it all roll off me, every insult.

Your daughter must be strong. You need to hear her out and listen to what she has to say.

Answer 3

You setup a face-to-face between you, your husband, your daughter, and the principal. Explain exactly what is happening and where - which classes, etc. Name names. Put the burden back on the school - they have an obligation to provide a safe learning environment.

Afterwrds, the principal SHOULD have a meeting with the other kids involved and (without directly accusing them of anything) explain what "charges" have been made. The principal also needs to discuss the situation with the various teachers, etc.

If the principal doesn't take the situation seriously, then I suggest hiring a lawyer to draft a letter to the school threatenting possible legal action.

Answer 4

first i want to say i am not a doctor of any sort or a parent
i am a teenager and have delt with abnormaly high amounts of bullying my whole life though i have never attempted suicide but here is what i think

the first thing you should do is keep her away from the bully transfering to a new school might be a good idea but make sure you go out of your way to keep her in close contact with her old freinds

next comes the therapist: bullies will find the one thing that bugs you or hurst you the most and pick at over and over and over
the therapist can find out what it is and help her over come it. couple this with a support group if one is available.

have her checked for any other "mental" (for lack of a better word) problems i.e. depression and have her checked once a year after words if you think it is neccasary.

make sure through all of it you keep a close eye on her. when dealing with peoples mental state efforts to help can make the problem worse (e.g. she goes to a therapist and begins to think that she is abnormal in a bad way and may begin to think she is worthless) but 90% of the time it works
also be there to hold her hand everystep of the way
would not reccomend sending her away anywhere unless you go with her, other wise she may begin to think you don't love nor want her, but a therapist may disagree
go with the therapist if he/she does disagree with me he/she is most likly right
hope that helps
best of luck


p.s. make sure you remind her how much you love her every day and that she relizes that you are not the only one who loves her

Answer 5

As a parent of two grown boys, I sympathize with you, and as someone who considered suicide in my life a long time ago, I hope I can help. I recieved a type a therapy that is known is psychological circles as "cognitive therapy" which has pioneers like Dr. Aarron Beck to thank for being as successful as it has. If your daughter is being bullied physically, I would assume that you have recourse through law enforcemnent and/or the school, but I am assuming that your daughter is being bullied emotionally which is just god awful as well.
Here is the deal with coginitive therarpy and why it is so powerfull in defeating suicide and depression: it teaches you to see absolute truth, and in the truth your daughter will find more comfort in the way she sees herself. Once we see ourselves in a truthful light, it is amazing how little the comments of bullies (or anyone else for that matter) will actually matter to us. Your daughter does not have to buy the bullies version of who she is, she just has to know who she is, and love who she is, and that is a difficult place to get to for many adults, let alone teenagers. Cognitive therapy would teach her how to view herself truthfully, and once she does that, it will be a forcefield that protects her emotionally from anyone's putdowns. I sure wish you and your daughter the best, and if you could impart to her that there are many people that have contemplated suicide, myself included, who are now ecstatic about their lives, myself included...but it is the therapy that helps. There is a good book that gives a taste of this therapy, I think it is called something like "The Happiness Handbook" or something equally trite-but it is written by Dr. David Burns. Take care and best wishes.

Answer 6

We had the exact same problem in our home.....it is a step by step process:
1. Take her out of school and homeschool her (that is your legal right as a parent; you don't even have to give a reason); if this is too big a step transfer schools w/o letting any of the students know whaere she is going next.

2. You need to file a report to the school, and if needed law enforcement.
These are generally the best options, but it is best to not return her to that school for her safety. You can visit www.time4learning.com. If you need more info just send me an email at [e-mail], or my yahoo email address.

Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 7

As a child I was bullied severely also. You are 100% right not to send her back to that school.

I do not know what your financial resources are, but if you can afford it, send her to a small, private school where different types of kids are not only accepted, but encouraged. Lots of hippie dippie schools like that are around me.

Other options include Christian schools, where kindness to others is emphasized. Or even another public school in your district where she does not know the kids and can kind of "start over". (This is what ultimately worked for me).

Worst case scenario, keep her home and home school her. The bottom line is that she must be somewhere she feels safe and loved. Bullying affects kids self-esteem in ways that will follow them for the rest of their life.

I wish you the best.

Answer 8

i hope you made a huge deal and spoke with the parents of the bully as well as school authorities. I also hope you have spoken a lot with your daughter during the events and will continue to listen to her and understand her to the best of your abilities. If you talk to her, you will probably be able to come up with a good solution; something your daughter feels comfortable with is likely the best solution in this case. You probably wouldn't want her going to the same school so you could transfer her to another school or homeschool her, as others have posted. I think you need to listen to her and acknowledge her wants and needs in this very scary scenario. I feel the best thing you can do is just speak with her... good luck with everything.

Answer 9

The odds are that the cruelty will continue. It's very likely the kids in school know why she has been gone, and it will be another thing for them to bully her about. Sadly, kids are cruel.

If possible a transfer to another school in a different district might be optional. Or, a private tutor for homeschooling.

Answer 10

Put her in a different school. Also consider legal action against the kids who bullied her. You may be able to talk to the school principal and arrange your daughter's schedule so she does not share any classes with those kids. And maybe even get a restraining order so that the kids will stay away from her outside of school.

Answer 11

if i'm not mistaken they have some type of laws for bullying.. you should speak w/the principal and ur childs guidance counselor and or social worker.. or contact the board of education in your city, file a complaint, take your child to see a therapist since she was going to attempt suicide... no child should be subject to it but unfortunately u can't always fight ur childs battles either.. And you can always transfer her to another school but bullying happens everywhere, so u can take a stand here or take a stand later somewhere else...