I left my husband about four months ago because I felt that I married to young and needed to prove to myself that could make it on my own. Since leaving I've earned a great promotion at work found an apartment and have been doing wonderfully. The only problem is that I met someone in the months of our seperation and have depeloped a relationship. I miss my husband A LOT and want to be back with him. Only thing is this other guy is making it really hard to break it off with him. And also my rings are gone. I think they were stolen... I cant find them anywhere! I really want to know if I should talk to my husband and find out if he can forgive me for what I've done to him and try to repair our marriage? Would you?
2007-01-26 08:14:48 · 21 answers · asked by duckybubbles918 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You did this to yourself...your husband can do better. You are separated, not divorced, so you cheated on your husband. I hope your husband finds out and moves on. You obviously weren't meeting his needs and probably being a disrespectful wife and you were still demanding respect even though you treated him like crap. That's your own problem that you married young. It's called working hard and to go to marriage counseling to have a strong marriage. You were just too lazy and didn't think you did anything wrong. Do your husband a favor and stay out of his life. You cheated on him!
2007-01-26 08:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Unasked questions will be unanswered. If you do not ask him, you will always wonder, so I think you should ask, but don't expect a lot. From what you have said, you had no real good reason to leave, it was a pride issue and chances are if that was all the justification, he may be hurt pretty bad and shoot you down pretty quick. That does not mean you should not try and talk to him and see how he feels. As far as this other guy tell him to take a hike if he is not listening to the easy way. Tell him you are married (you did not say you were divorced) and want to work it out with your husband. So now, you will hurt another because now you want to go home. Can you see the pain you are leaving in your wake by your decisions? Make the call and see what happens, but in the future realize you can bring a lot of havoc to others with your decisions. A word of caution, if your husband does want to try and work it out, do not be surprised if he does not just come around 100%, because in the back of his mind he will fear you leaving again and that will take a long time to get over...Good luck...
2007-01-26 08:37:49 · answer #2 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a pretty selfish woman aren't you? Time to analyze why you really left your husband. Or actually, why you even married him in the first place. That's where your answer lies honey. You need to be honest with yourself and your husband. Tell him what's been going on with you. Let him know about the other man. You can only hope that he will be forgiving and sympathetic to your reasons. I personally, couldn't be. Cheating is cheating and for you to form a relationship with another man while seperated from your husband?!? Very selfish hon. Try to get some counseling, marriage therapy if hubby wants to work it out. You do sound very young ... your actions have proven your age.
2007-01-26 08:25:49 · answer #3 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is be honest with yourself. Sounds like you don't want to break up with the guy you are seeing in case the husband rejects you. It is also hard to believe the wedding rings went missing if you had intentions to go back with your husband. Be thankful you don't have children involved.
It is great that you have blossomed out on your own, but be sure what you want. Seek counseling to sort out your own feelings before going back to the husband.
Good luck.
2007-01-26 08:31:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you leave your husband alone. You have hurt him enough, don't you think?
I don't care how great your job and apartment are. You left him to prove to yourself that you can make it on your own??? That's the WORST reason I have ever heard for leaving your husband. And even during this separation you are doing some new guy?
If it were me I wouldn't have anything to do with you. Sorry.
2007-01-26 09:11:27 · answer #5 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ducky, you may be in a unique position to repair your relationship. However, if you have cheated, even if you were divorced, then leave it alone. Also if you have stayed celibate, you need to find out if your husband has played around since the divorce. If so, say good bye. I don't mean to be obnoxious, but, that was one of the most lame reasons for divorce I've ever heard! Hope you not only became successful but also grew up at bit!
2007-01-26 08:23:40 · answer #6 · answered by delux_version 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go on with your life ,,, Love is not jealous or humiliateing. It doesn't run away when things get tough. Your husband doesn't want u anymore. { 4 whatever excuses}. Obviously u cheated 4 a reason . Pride is holding him back Im sure but loving , really loving someone, does not include pride as a reason 4 your distance.If your husband loved u he would find a way to help the situation but instead he chooses to create more distance . Move on ! You will find someone who really loves you instead of someone whos in love w love! I haven't cheated but I know what it feels like to be in a relationship by yourself. Good luck honey!
2007-01-26 10:38:24 · answer #7 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really hard place that you put yourself in. It sounds of if your new guy is controlling you and that's who probably has your wedding rings. You need to ask for them back.. Is he the only person to have access to your personal belonging. That's what controlling men do.
About your husband you need to ask for forgiveness and see how he feels, and go from there. All you can do is try for a new beginning. Good luck!
2007-01-26 08:27:44 · answer #8 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If both you and your husband are comitted to making the marriage work, most likely it will work.
It will require you to NEVER see or speak to this other man again. Whatever it takes to do that.
Even then, it may not work.
However, it certainly will not work if you allow any miniscule amount of contact with this other man to further muddy the waters.
It certainly doesn't hurt to seek forgiveness and present your plan for restoration. What's the worst thing your husband can say? No? Yes?
2007-01-26 08:23:56 · answer #9 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you left your husband because hit hit you, was on drugs or cheated on you , OK, you had a reason, but because you apparently changed your mind, and now you changed it back, that is just crazy. get a divorce, leave you husband alone, let him chalk you up to experience.
PS: Seems like you have already slept with this new guy, so hell no, I would not take you back.
2007-01-26 08:32:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋