Found out the other night my wife has been sneaking around talking to some guy on yahoo messenger, never told me about him and now claims their just friends, When I told her it bothered me and to delete him she claimed I was treating her like a child and refused (also we have 4 daughters together involved in this scenario) She only talks to him while I am at work and makes sure to let him know when I am home! So anyone been involved in similiar situation and what was the outcome!!!
2007-01-26 08:00:21 · 19 answers · asked by dragonmaster9970 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look out for female sweetdreams4473@yahoo.com, And grabenubutynpinch@yahoo.com Both have no morales
2007-01-26 09:32:25 · update #1
If Your In A Relationship Avoid These Two Names
2007-01-26 09:44:59 · update #2
Something is not right if she only speaks to him when you are not there, if the roles were reversed I don't she would put up with you doing that, sort something out before it goes any further!
2007-01-26 08:07:20 · answer #1 · answered by Weiners and Beans 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
This is going to sound really crazy but hang in there and hear me out!!!
First off... do you own any pornos or dirty magazines?... do you ever jerk off by yourself?... BE HONEST!!!
If you say no your probably lying to me and yourself.
Dirty magazines and pornos are the male version of fantasy. They only need the physical stimulation to make them happy.
Women are a lot more complicated. We need mental stimulation as well. So maybe this is her mental fantasy or the female version of a porno. Unless you have HARD evidence that they have actually met, let her have a fantasy. Better yet help her out. You two should make up false identity's on the internet and leave each other steamy emails and say what you would do to each other if you were to meet (remember it's a fantasy). Then at night actually act them out. I know that to a guy this really sounds corny and stupid but remember that this is coming from a WOMAN and it MIGHT help.
So give her a break and play along!!!
2007-01-26 16:37:56 · answer #2 · answered by kssunflower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was hiding it, she knew it wasn't okay, or that you would have a problem with it. If she's only talking to him while you're not home and letting him know when you're around, she's most likely hiding something. It may be all "innocent" in her mind, but it sure doesn't seem that way to me. You're not treating her like a child, you're treating her like a married woman... your WIFE. Her responsibility is to you, not this stranger. If it bothers you, she should delete him immediately. I'm one of those that believes that married women (or men, for that matter) should not have close friends of the opposite sex, unless they're a 'couple' friend. There's usually an underlying sexual tension, and why would you want to set yourself up for something that could be disastrous?
If you wouldn't do it in front of your children, spouse, parents or priest... there's probably something wrong with it.
2007-01-26 16:11:12 · answer #3 · answered by ~StepfordWife~ 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This IM stuff has certainly complicated an already difficult situation. They may be "just friends" and may have never met in the flesh (no pun intended) but my experience with chatting with strangers on IM is that it's all (and I mean all) sex talk. It is also completely impossible to develop a real friendship because people lie, lie, lie. I got fed-up with men wanting to get naked on computer cams and/or send dirty pics. I was lonely and hoping to "meet" someone, she might just be bored during the day, but my personal experience was mostly perverted men. Tell her to go to the library and get a good book. Good luck
2007-01-26 16:13:23 · answer #4 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This "just friends" crap is always how $hit starts!
A married woman has NO BUSINESS messaging other men and carrying on with them. That is just INSANE!
You NEVER do anything that is going to make your partner uncomfortable to question the relationship.....call me old fashioned, but the day she said "I DO" is the day she became YOUR other half......not this stranger "Mr Internet Loverboy"....pull the plug on the damn computer!
All the best to you!!! This is just plain WRONG!!!!
One more thing, if I had the good fortune of getting to be at home all day while my man worked, I would not have a moments time to be sitting on the computer.............my home would be so spottless you would be able to eat off the floor!
2007-01-26 16:41:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oddly enough I'm talking to an interesting person from Guam right now! When my wife gets home I'm going to let her know. I never had a pen pal from Guam! Kool! You know what...... Try it, you may like it. How can you see her side if you don't walk a mile in her shoes. You may just find that it's pretty Kool to have someone out there who can relate to those things your wife can't or that bore her to tears. I enjoy jetskiing, but it scares the hell out of her. Hell, talk to me I'm on right now!
2007-01-26 16:13:37 · answer #6 · answered by delux_version 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Call me old fashioned, but here's my opinion. She is being totally disrespectful of you. You are her one and only man and no good could come out of making your spouse uncomfortable. I used to have male friends, but now only speak with them in my husbands presence out of respect. I would expect the same from him.
Don't let her make it a trust issue on your part. Women can be controlling by making it your problem. She is being terribly immature and disrespectful and SHE needs to change her behavior.
Buy her "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura S. It's awesome and she'll hopefully treat you better.
Good Luck!
2007-01-26 16:15:55 · answer #7 · answered by Wendy B 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, Actually I have done that myself and I said the same thing to my boyfriend too, but he was not just a friend we were flirting with each other and he knew that I had a boyfriend and what time he came home.
2007-01-26 16:13:57 · answer #8 · answered by Meli2327 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GO TO MARRIAGE COUNSELING...obviously she feels like she needs to be talking and sneaking behind your back for some reason with an internet guy...find out whats really going on in your marriage if your soo concerned about it, and talk to a counselor instead of wondering and asking questions on here.
2007-01-26 16:09:27 · answer #9 · answered by ღCCღ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
honestly there are better places to ask these kinds of questions. yahoo is kinda a dark place for actually getting help since people tend to give flip and poorly thought through answers based on little experience.
i suggest you try posting your story at http://www.loveshack.org where there are tons of poeple who have dealt with or are dealing with the same situation you are handling now.
2007-01-26 16:56:53 · answer #10 · answered by jude D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have not been in this situation.....but it is wrong, wrong, wrong of her to do that. The way I see it, if she cannot talk to him while you are around then it's something more than friends or potentially something more. Tell her to stop doing that. Put your foot down on this one. Its not fair to you.
2007-01-26 16:38:02 · answer #11 · answered by Stephanie H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋