I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years and don't think I've been completely happy at any point in the relationship. I suffer from depression and wonder whether I would be just as miserable with someone else.
2007-01-26 07:28:38 · 25 answers · asked by shell 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You will never be happy with anyone until you are happy with yourself.
Good Luck
2007-01-26 07:37:24 · answer #1 · answered by his temptress 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just an educated guess, but it sounds like the "depression" is getting the best of you. Have you gone to counseling for this? If not, I think it maybe best for you to do so. There's nothing wrong with seeking a little help, especially now a days when the times of today are much harder and stressful than past generations. Depression has a way of effecting all parts of life, whether it be relationships, sex, family, work and so on. And at times it tends to cloud up our thoughts and better judgments. You've been with this gentlemen for eight years, all of which you feel you've been somewhat unhappy, perhaps there is something that keeps you there that's been masked by the depression. Find out what that is, do some soul searching and find out what makes you unhappy (if, other than depression) then see if you can make things better. But first and foremost you've got to love and better yourself for things to become more clearer and future more brighter. Good Luck!!
2007-01-26 07:58:07 · answer #2 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a doc, hon about your depression... If you are already on meds, he may have to tweak the dosages, and the compounds.... and there is something that you probably already know.... you may have inherited a gene for depression, and those are tough, but not impossible to treat.
Happiness comes from within, satisfaction in one's work, relationships, hobbies, family, all of the above, just some of the above, and of course other things as well.... See how much of a relationship you and he really have--- good ones are: admiration, respect, passion and trust, ---the four biggies----along with kindness, solving problems with out rage, time together, time alone, vacations, dinners with friends, and all of the goodies that make life fun. If you and he already have those four listed, in at least moderate degrees, then you must examine your attitude, and that may not only take some meds, but a few sessions in therapy, too.
2007-01-26 07:55:26 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of great answers in this forum. Please read them all carefully and ACTIVELY and CONSCIOUSLY work on getting better. Depression is a nasty monster and you can either give in to its power or CHOOSE to fight it.
Know that it is just a fact of life that you cannot be happy 100% of the time. When faced with this problem years ago (ending a relationship) a dear friend gave me this formula: Think about your relationship as a whole, if the good times outweigh the bad ones, you might want to stay in it; if the bad times outweigh the good; it's not worth your time and effort.
If you decide to leave him, it might be a great opportunity for you to focus on your mental health. The healthier you get, it's more likely you will find yourself with an equally healthy person. Perhaps, more chances for happy times...
Good luck!
2007-01-26 08:06:41 · answer #4 · answered by MamaBearKnowzz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one is completely happy 100% of the time. I am wondering why after 8 years you two have not moved on into establishing a union, family etc together. Maybe you have and just did not say so.
That aside, I think maybe its time to end a relationship when there is far more bad than good in it, and if it does not have the potential to improve.
We only get one life on this earth as far as I know. spend it wisely, dear!
only you can answer the question you asked, you know. It is a decision you will have to make.
I wish you success with this decision and with your future.
2007-01-26 07:39:58 · answer #5 · answered by martinmagini 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you suffer from depression, my best advice is to talk about it to your docor. Ok, which you may have already done, but if you take some anti dep and still feel down, then it's not a normal reaction.
Concerning your relationship, you know it's the end when you can't stand that person anymore, not even being able to be in the same room as them. In that case, it's better to keep them as a friend.
But really, what is important first is to deal with your depression.
2007-01-26 07:40:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to take care of yourself for a while. Go to a doctor/psychiatris about the depression, find out what truly interests you, take a vacation with a friend or self (not the bf), spend some time taking care of yourself for a while. I think many times in relationships we try to be what another person wants us to be, instead of who we want to be. Don't worry about what he thinks and do what you want until you find out what makes you happy. If you haven't been truly happy in the relationship chances are he hasn't been happy either. Don't just hang on to someone because it is easier to stay then to let them go. And don't get someone else in your life until you are comfortable with yourself.
2007-01-26 07:45:47 · answer #7 · answered by Jill H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eight years? And neither one of you want to make a commitment, move on, obviously it is not a good fit.
You really can do something about that depression too, you are not a victim, you do not have to "suffer". Get help, meds , whatever. Change your life, it is a waste to be unhappy.
Best wishes for your happy future
2007-01-26 07:40:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your depression being treated? I think that should be the first step. If taking an anti depressant is all that you need to make this relationship work then by all means, do it! If however, you are being treated for your depression and still don't feel like this is working out, it is time to move on. good luck!
2007-01-26 07:38:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
8 years is a long time to be in a relationship, but if you are not happy or satisfied with how things are going... then you NEED to move on.The biggest mistake you can make is, continuing to stick around knowing deep down inside, you're not comfortable! And you shouldn't walk around being "depressed", like there is no hope... you gotta stand up, and have confidence in your-self. Do whats in your heart!! Good Luck
2007-01-26 07:40:45 · answer #10 · answered by CUTIE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know it's time to end a relationship, when you have to force yourself to try and remember what brought you together in the first place. Also, if you find you're with someone just so you won't be alone, it's time to say good bye. A person should always like themselves first, before getting involved with someone else they are hoping will like them.
2007-01-26 07:40:04 · answer #11 · answered by Republican!!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋