i'm 98% sure my man is cheating,how can i find out for sure without him knowing?he thinks i don't have a clue,

Question

apart from a very strong gut feeling,there are several other things ive picked up on recently that's telling me to get a grip and stop being the niave trusting partner that he knows i am.i need to know if i have been right to be suspicious or if ive been so so wrong but i need to know soon.i also need to do this discreetly so he has no idea im even capable of suspecting him.please give me the best ways and tips to get on with this and either give him the shock of his life or realise it's my paranoia and get on with our lives and be happy.

what's the obvious signs?what should i be looking for in terms of clues and what things can i be doing to investigate?i have 2 children so following him is near impossible,but ill try anything else if its gonna help just now.

i need to point out i did ask him right out a while back and he went crazy,shouting and screaming going nuts.i thought it was a bit over the top,then a couple hours later he was back to his old self and never mentioned it again

Answer 1

Been there! ...Several things can be done ... and not all legal. Favourite is to buy a small digital (credit card size) recorder. Put it on VOX and leave in vicinity of the phone (between a couple of books is good). Telephone bugs can be bought for next to nothing and installation is simple. If you can get his mobile phone without him knowing, you could check his texts. If they have been deleted, there is now a device that can read deleted texts (as long as they have'nt been written over again). Get a friend (an unknown friend to him) to follow him. Hire a agent. Turn up unexpectedly at his work (or wherever) and see if he's edgy, (90% of cheating is with a work colleague). Most important is to confide in a friend (assuming they are not the suspect).

In answer to 'Matured'. (above) You are about as 'matured' as the cheese I had on my toast this morning!!

This lady wants confirmation that the person she loves is cheating!! I, and many others have tried asking!!! Guess what they say?!!. Its a painful period in a life, and, until you've been there....KEEP YOUR IMMATURE OPINIONS TO YOURSELF!.

Answer 2

There are a few things:

1. If you can, get a hold of his phone bill; check the number he calls the most, also check the time and duration of the calls. If he has phone with text messeging, you can get his password, by going online say you forget password and it will prompt you to put the phone number in and they will send the password in the form of a text messeging, be sure that you have his phone(maybe when he is sleeping). When you get it, erase it. Use that password to check what you need to, can't go in details how to(this is true for sprint phones). Remember he can erase any activities he does on his phone, but you can check some things online. Also note that names in his phone book doesnt neccesarily means that those are the actuall contact. You may see Aunt Betty, someone you know he talks to alot, but its actually someone else, Its a cover up, for when you look through his phone

2. Ask a trusted friend to use their car(prerferable a car he doesnt recognize) to follow him around, especially on a occasion where u most likely think he is cheating.
Yes its not right for ones privacy to be invaded; but face it you need clarification.

3. If you are a God fearing person, ask God to show you a definate sign, and trust me he will.

If it turns out not to be so, then reevaluate yourself and mabe the relationship and try and have an open communication beween the both of you

Good Luck Hon.

Remember to always trust your Gut feelings!!!!

Answer 3

Usually if a woman suspects a man of cheating, he is. If you have this gut feeling nagging at you, you are not going to be satisfied until you know for sure so just find out. Me personally, I wouldn't go looking for it unless he displayed for sure signs that he was cheating. I would respect his privacy as long as he respected the relationship and didn't sh!t where he eats. But if a man is doing things to cause you to suspect him, he wants you to know he's cheating so this is what you should do:

If you have a close friend or relative go to his or her house and tell your b/f that you will be busy doing something. Borrow that friend's car and go scope out your boyfriend. Follow him and see where he is going. (Think Lynette on Desperate Housewives). But be careful girl, because when you go sniffing for a fart, you won't like the stink.

BTW, never ever confront him about cheating unless you have viable evidence because that will only start a fight and justify in his mind why its okay to cheat on you i.e you're a nag, untrusting etc.

Answer 4

ooh that is tough. i'd be tempted to try to talk to his friends if you think you can trust them to be honest with you - or maybe pretend you know already? but remember you run the risk that if he is not having an affair this behaviour must be getting him down and he might want to bail. from what you say you have grounds to be upset with him if for no other reason than he won't talk to you about why you're upset and suspicious. when you 'accuse' him do you shout and rant or try to talk quietly and rationally? if you are yelling don't be surprised if he does too.

it sounds as though you're asking how to get a good private detective to trail him and i guess the phone book can give you that info - good luck i hope you find happiness.

one thing i would say is that women generally have great intuition... hope he is worth the (dis)stress.

Answer 5

Go to your local rent-a-center, or one like it, Rent a cam-corder for a week, if your worried he will find out you did this ask a trusted friend to do so in their name. If you suspect he is using your home to do his dirty deeds in, set it up out of sight and go about your life as if nothing is happening, watch the tape and see. Or if you think he is in the work place or after work, rent a car in the same manner as the cam and either you follow him or ask a friend to go with you and record his moves. A friend of mine and myself did this for another friend when she suspected her husband of cheating..we gave her the tape to watch and she confronted him without her ever telling him who did the taping. I would ask someone that you know and trust to do the taping, emotions run high when you see the man you love with another female and to confront a cheater with proof you need to get all the ugly out before doing so. It only costs a few dollars to rent a camcorder for a week, around 30 to 50 for a rental...might know someone that has a cam and the use of a vehicle without the expense.

A strong word of advise...believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see until you know the facts

Answer 6

Accept him 100% or reject him 100%. This is not a fabric that is 98% silk and 2% cotton. If you love him then love his relation too. Disclose it to him and then you will see he will not do anything secretly. Your love for him will take care of everything. He will definitely leave that girl after finding that your Love is more selfless for him than the skin of that new Girl. It is a matter of some transitory bio-chemical phenomenon. Your husband is passing through that phase. Wait for time with all your love and devotion for your husband.

Answer 7

properly, possibly a international without you, or adult males who think of such as you would be a possibility. If shall we basically weed a number of the lemon-grass out of our backyard of adult males, we could be o.k.. i think of what maximum women individuals advise is, getting experience of the adult males who've have the techniques of a infant of three. because of the fact i like adult males! i think of they are spectacular, i like their bodies, they way a number of them smell, and particular manly features. What i do in comparison to is a guy that needs to constantly assert his dominance over women individuals, in an attempt to compensated for is "short comings". And maximum women individuals now days, right here interior the twentieth and twenty first century (in case you haven't any longer observed) can open glass jars (we've kitchen home equipment that do this), kill spiders (there are woman exterminators of zoologist), and elevate packing boxes over 25 kilos (woman movers, military women individuals) i easily can elevate an 85lbs - 90lbs MK 40 5 gun mount around interior the ammo magazine on a military Destroyer. I served 10 years lively accountability interior the U.S. military on board a military combatant vessel. Am I susceptible? You bypass and make your individual dam sandwich.

Answer 8

Why don't you want him to know you suspect? Sounds like you have a lot of other issues to work on and that's best done by being open, honest and trusting. Failing that read his texts, post, phonebill, ask his mates, follow him and / or hire a private detective.

Answer 9

Just pack your bags while he is looking on and tell him you are leaving. When he starts freaking out and wanting to know why then tell him he knows why. Keep him asking and dangling for a bit then turn on him dramatically and tell him that SHE came clean and told you everything. After he snaps out of his trance, which he will have if he is guilty because he is trying to figure out who, he will ask what you are talking about. Just scream, break the lamp and tell him not to **** with you. Tell him his ***** spilled the beans and that she can have him with a bow on. And then resume packing. Just keep at it and he will eventually admit everything if he is guilty. If he isn't then you will be met with genuine anger and then despair at his relationship falling apart.

Answer 10

I believe if you feel you are 98%sure that should be good enough seeing it with your own eyes would be twice as painful as the thought of it is.... why do that to yourself? You obviously dont trust him so whats the point of being with him? and you will never go on with your life and be happy with those doubts and accusations roaming around unanswerd in your head.