Do they ever fell secure in their relationships with those married men? Even if the man leaves his wife for the other woman - can she ever really trust the cheater? Also, why are these "other woman" so bitter towards the ex wife? What do they expect from her?
2007-01-26 06:47:51 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Mainly they feel more secure and safe with a married man. Anyway...read the website I have posted...Don't know if it will do anyone any good, but it might....
2007-01-26 07:09:51 · answer #1 · answered by pinelake302 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I don't know if you are being cheated on or if you are the other woman but if you have an OPEN MIND please continue reading.
I am currently in a monogamous relationship with a married man. We BOTH realize what we are doing and understand the consequences. But we also realize exactly what this relationship is too. He isn't going to leave his wife, and I eventually will find a boyfriend. There is NO jealousy and NO arguements. The best way to discribe it is this.....
Pick your favorite flavor of ice cream (lets just say it's chocolate). Now, you will always love chocolate, chocolate will ALWAYS be your favorite ice cream and it will always be there for you. But every now and then you wouldn't mind eating a little vanilla or strawberry's & cream.
We have been friends for YEARS. We even grew up together. It's just that one day or should I say one night we took it to the next step. When we spend time together we talk about anything and everything. I'm his outlet as he is mine. I know things about him and his wife that no one else probably should know. But I think that is were other "cheaters and cheaties" have the problems. When he is "venting", alot of the problems that he has with his wife come up so I get a chance to see her "bad" side, but where I differ from most others is I never just see one side of the story. I stop him and tell him to see it from her side and try to understand why she might be mad or upset, instead of just agreeing with him. I think I am actually the reason that they are still together.
So take it for what it is worth and don't judge a book by it's cover!
2007-01-26 08:21:48 · answer #2 · answered by kssunflower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women have affairs with married men for different reasons.
There is the "I didn't know he was married" because he lied and worked it until she finds it too hard to break it off. In the end, this relationship will never work because if he ever gets rid of the wife to marry the mistress, it's going to happen again. The best for this one is for the mistress to break it off once she realizes she is a mistress.
There is the "I don't care if you're married I'm going to make you leave your wife". This one is not in touch with reality. You will eventually be in the same boat with this man. It's just a matter of time.
There is the "I don't mind that you are married because I don't want you hanging around anyway". This is someone who just wants a good roll in the hay every now and then send him back to his wife.
The cheater can never really be trusted. Once a cheater always a cheater. The "other woman" could be bitter at the ex because of what the cheater is telling them about the ex.
2007-01-26 07:33:12 · answer #3 · answered by Looking Out 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ive never been in the "mistress role".. before.. I couldnt trust a man that cheated on his wife..not even if he cheated with me.. why, cause im delusional to the fact that all 99% of the time people who get married its because they atleast think they are in love..they are on this giddy high..like most relationships, and then with time .. the giddiness tends to fade atleast to some degree if not completely gone..and there are days that are going to be boring and lets face it.. no marriage can be a romantic novel of excitment, passion, romance, and sex every day all day long for the next 50 years..
So my point is why would i think i could be any better then that woman was when he was in love with her??? Nothing.. She's just a woman .. Im just a woman.. So id never be able to believe in a mans promises especially of marriage when he couldnt keep the vows the first time around..
People that usually help in breaking up a marriage.. usually actually believe they are better then the wife.. they look at the wife as someone that is horrible and treating him wrong and that she's doing him a favor getting with him..so she can show him what "real love is" ..or so she thinks..
Why does anyone get bitter at someone with out just cause.. their jealous!! why because if u were someones wife once they obviously loved u at one point in time enough to marry u.. and she's worried and concerned about that, her confidence in thinking she's better then the wife is deminishing because shes realizing she isnt.. so she is jealous of who u are, and possibly how her now man may still feel about u.. more then likey she's being compared to the wife.. or when he gets mad he slips and says his wifes name instead of hers.. or he holds on to possession that are from the marriage.. etc .. whatever it is.. its enough to realize that shes not as special as she thought she was
2007-01-26 07:16:24 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wasn't the "other" woman...I am the Ex wife. The reason the Ex receives the bitterness from the "other" wife is because she knows I did not cheat on him, I took care of him through hell and high water and she can not (in her mind, now) ever live up to the first wife. She also understand (or thinks) how easy it was to get the husband in the first place and wonders every day if there is another out there that is better looking or more attractive to him than she is now that they are married and she lives in this fear every day. She wonders if someday he won't walk in and say she is a disappointment to him and he is going back to the first wife and wishes he had never left her. Little do both of them know...if the first wife is smart she would say "good-bye to bad rubbish" and live out the rest of her days on Alimony and/or Childsupport like a QUEEN!!!!
2007-01-26 07:09:49 · answer #5 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he'll mess around WITH you, he'll mess around ON you!
I don't see how ANYONE could be secure knowing he's done it AT LEAST once already!
As far at the "other women" being bitter towards the ex-wife..........In general, these are just selfish people. I don't think it's so much that she's "bitter" as it is just expecting other people to conform to HER way of life. If the ex-wife refuses, she does her dead level best to make her life a living HELL!
Unhappy people rarely treat others well.
2007-01-26 07:07:14 · answer #6 · answered by Renee D 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well put Alana! Those women who look for security in a married mans bed only live in fear for the entire relationship. I mean the relationship is based on deceit! I don't know one couple who are married at least 8-10 years where the wife was a mistress. Maybe just a fluke of luck, but somehow i doubt it! Good question!
2007-01-26 07:02:25 · answer #7 · answered by delux_version 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
no...they dont feel secure..they feel a cit 'cocky' because they have just gained a trophy from another woman...and they see it as a victory at that particualar moment in time.
she certainly cant trust the 'cheater'...as the mistress is just usually a bit of skirt on the side. i think that the mistress is bitter towards the ex-wife because she feels threatened - and usually if its a long term marriage that she has disrupted - she knows that she will always be compared to the wife...and lets face it - the mistress is just a 'bunk-up' until the next one comes along...at the end of the day...the husband usually regrets his decision and by then...the real wife has had enough - and dumps him anyway!!
2007-01-26 07:21:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think the reason they are with a married man is that they do not want commitment...or the challenge it gives them having what is not theres to have..the wife an kids suffer more then anyone...
the reason the other women are bitter well ...it is more like jelouse...see they know!! now they live with the fear they themselves created being with a married man...Is he gonna cheat ...u damn right he will ...ppl don't change
2007-01-26 07:18:57 · answer #9 · answered by ????Shady???? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes they do. This is a big difference. Men who have affairs usually aren't looking to replace their wife and don't want to marry their fling, whereas women want to leave their husband for the fling.
Women are a little more territorial of exes, in general. I am not sure why.
2007-01-26 06:58:27 · answer #10 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Women who have affairs with married men are insecure and are trying to feel more attractive by going out with someone else's husband. They think that they must be better than the wife for him to choose to cheat on his wife wth her, but in reality he probably would have cheated on the his wife whether it was with her or someone else. And then she has the nerve to be hurt when her husband doesn't leave his wife for her.
2007-01-26 07:04:22 · answer #11 · answered by ? 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋