I'm in a bind. I have been married for 13 months. My wife recently left me for some guy she works with. Here's the real problem; when I met my wife, she was pregnant. We had a great relationship, regardless of the fact that she was carrying another man's child. I took care of my wife to the fullest, making sure she never missed doctor's appointments, was fed, and was comfortable. I even chose the babies name. Her real father hasn't ever even seen her and she's almost two. Anyway, when the baby came, I stood by her side and gave the baby my last name. I thought it would be nice for her to have my last name since her mother and I were to be married. I grew very attached to "my daughter" and things looked good. Then my wife decided she was fed up with me and left, taking "my daughter" with her. We still see each other occasionally and now she is getting mad because I don't know if I want to be responsible for a child that isn't mine. I really don't know what to do. Help?
2007-01-26 06:38:47 · 9 answers · asked by troutpotato 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, hon, realize you married a very immature girl..... and in her case, surely a s(l) ut.
As for that child, that is something you will have to decide in your heart, and in the courts. You can be legally rid of your responsibility with DNA testing.... you did not say if you legally adopted this child, as in papers, as in legal, as in attorneys. If this child is not your legal responsibility, then in your place, I'd wash my hand of all of it, and get on with your life..... realize that you had a lapse in judgment... and this lady took advantage of you for her own uses.
Marriage is respect, admiration, passion and trust.... four biggies....she has betrayed you, by sharing her passion with someone else..... the trust is in the toilet, and the first two are there as well... so, hon, you don't have a marriage.... Her anger is not your concern... if what you have said here has a shred of truth to it, tell her to stick it......And find a nice lady.... every man deserves a faithful spouse, and that includes you.... you tried to do the right and noble thing and you got your face shoved in it.... See a mediating attorney, keep things civil, agree on your divorce terms, and get the hell out..... Good luck hon.
2007-01-26 07:11:38 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you really truly love the baby, you should stay in the baby's life, and it doesn't matter that the two of you don't want to be together anymore, I don't think that its the baby's fault that she left you and the baby didn't ask you to give her your name and make her yours. Children are a huge responsibility and you took that responsibility when you made her your daughter. I think that you should continue to be as good to the baby as you can possibly be, she didn't do anything wrong and its not her fault her mother is all screwed up and can't settle for one guy. Be the better person and give this child the love and care she deserves!
2007-01-26 14:55:08 · answer #2 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough question. Very nice of you to take care of this woman and her child, but you need to decide for your sake and the child's what you want to do.
Go with your heart on this one, are you emotionally ready to support a child that is not yours? Remember, it is not fair to the child to decide one day you want to be in her life, then don't want to be the next. This is a life long commitment.
If you walk away now, no one will blame you, (or at least I don't think they should). She is young enough that she probably won't remember you at all.
But, you need to seek legal help here, since you gave the child your name, you have legally said you are her father, which makes you liable for child support. Trend carefully here. Find out your rights. Since I don't where you live, I can't help legally (not that I legally could, anyways). Call a lawyer.
Good luck!
2007-01-26 15:20:48 · answer #3 · answered by doodles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry dude, but if you are in the birth certificate, you are stuck paying child support when you divorce. Yes, it's your legal obligation because legally you are the child's father on paper and that all that matters in Family Court, that's assuming that she doesn't receive child support from the biological father.
Listen, if you care about "your daugher" then care for her, is not the child's fault that her mother is a, well, I better don't say but you know the adjetive.
Good luck
Ps/ Why is that the bad girls always get the good guys. It beats me.
2007-01-26 15:31:10 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont be an idiot, get out of their life now before the child becomes more att. to you. In the state of Ga. you have no obligation to that child, if she tries to force the point a simple dna test, at her expense, will clear you. She is not coming back and from what you wrote it seems she used you as a convienant door mat, do not trust her, and dont let her guilt you with her child, she has at least 3 men in her bed within the last 2 years, run for your life.
2007-01-26 15:02:37 · answer #5 · answered by shane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love the baby you should stick with the responsibility you took when giving her your name and making her your daughter. If your name is on her birth cert. here you have rights and responsibilities that have nothing to do with her mother. Besides it sounds like this toddler needs a stable reasonable grown up in her life permanently and you are the best choice in this situation.
2007-01-26 16:18:59 · answer #6 · answered by Trisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is all coming down to if you love the daughter enough to put up with the x-wife, If you dont want to, you have no obligation in your state, But if you do, then try your best to keep yourself as part of the childs life.
2007-01-26 15:08:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have asked yourself why her baby's father left her to begin with. I bet she had everything to do with it. Don't complicate your life any further and detach yourself from this situation completely.
2007-01-26 15:28:00 · answer #8 · answered by Lucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you did - that was a good thing
But don let her make you fool
You know what people says - to be good and to be fool- there's a thin line between
2007-01-26 18:24:19 · answer #9 · answered by njanja 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋