Can living with a spouse that cheated cause a person to be mean to the outside world?

Question

I know a woman who is still married to her husband that cheated a year ago, and she has since become very uncaring towards others. She is much more selfish. Is this a side effect of living through that, or does she have other issues?

one thing to add -- I have tried to call her/email her and bring it up lightly, but she sort of blew it off in an email. I don't think she realizes she is doing it.

If she were to leave him eventually (very tough because of kids), could she get back her kinder side again, or is she truly forever changed?

Answer 1

Dealing with infidelity changes a person. She is probably trying to prevent getting hurt again in the future by convincing herself and others that she no longer cares.

Answer 2

She's so hurt and yet she doesn't want to ruffle his feathers; she'd rather be a pain to everyone else. She is afraid that if she makes a big deal of the situation at home then she might have to eat dinners for one. Some folks choose to remain in marriages long after they're over to avoid what they perceive will be the lonliness of singlehood, singledom, singleness, singleality...Somebody buy here a membership to E-Harmony, pleeeeze!!! Tell her there are other fishies in the sea and some of them take the mating for life very seriously.
She might be under tremendous pressure from others to stay in a marriage that she no longer wants. She may not even know what she wants. And, finally, her self-esteem might be in the toilet AND she might think that Mr. Big will cheat again so she's feeling anxious which may be exhibiting itself as anger. There are so many mixrd emotions in that woman's head right now and she's venting toward the wrong people.
Yeah, she's got issues, she married him. Poor thing. All this time, she thought she was the ONE for him and he was the ONE for her and in comes this other person. I feel sorry for her and those who are exposed to her venom.
If she's going to stay in the marriage, she probably needs to talk to a counselor about how to a) get past the hurt and b) stop displacing her anger.

Answer 3

I think it's a side effect. If she got away from him, she might chamge back. Maybe she just needs some time. A year isn't that long when you're still living with the person and having that constant reminder of it. I bet she's always defensive when it comes to men.

Answer 4

the final diagnosis in the adventure that your married or have made a dedication to a distinctive , you have broken the believe between you ! or you have betrayed your self besides as your significant different ! we've policies in existence , it purely is ! You no longer basically cheating on ur significant different , your cheating your self , as quickly as you cheat you no longer believe your self ,much less your significant different ! besides the shown fact which you justified it to your self , it purely undemanding incorrect ! in case you twist it on your ideas long adequate , You ll discover the thank you to justfeild cheating , people cheat for many reason ! besides the shown fact that that is been my adventure , they very generally have deep rooted insecure tendency, and occasional self well worth , and a few how with the aid of fact somebody needs them . it makes them have some kind of self well worth , it incredibly is fake , in all experience of the observe ! Or there the rather self center individual ,who does nt care who they harm or the way it might desire to result his or her family contributors by utilising his or her movements! (spoiled brat syndrome) isn't existence approximately alternatives and results of those alternatives! the wear it incredibly is carried out , by utilising cheating would in no way be repaired , on your babies , to your self , on your significant different ! And in case you do cheat , what does that say approximately you and your character ! what does a individual have in this international it incredibly is his or her very own yet there observe ! something in existence well worth doing takes dedication and dedication, and resolution. while 2 people make a dedication to a minimum of one yet another , that what that's ! undemanding phrases yet many times complicated to stay ! additionally cheating creates a separation between you and your significant different ! they might no longer comprehend the reason of the separation yet they certainly observe it ! which make despite issues your having even worse ! base line is this! in the adventure that your so unhappy in relationship get out ! don t complicate it by utilising bringing extra people into your relationship, you already cant look after the only you have ! Don t be self center and selfish ! stop and picture what your action would have on others, and the wear your doing to your self and those you like !

Answer 5

Yes.. I think that would be a side effect. She's trying so hard to be strong.. that she built up walls around her and probably doesn't want people to get close so they can't hurt her anymore. Talk to her about it. I'm sure if you bring it to her attention she'll relax a little more!

Answer 6

I would say it has a WHOLE lot to do with her attitude. She is being selfish to put up a wall where no one can hurt her, or she is at a 'giving up' stage, trying to just focus on herself. Be patient with her and also maybe try talking to her about it. Express your concern.

Answer 7

Yea it can happen. What happens is they build walls around emotion in their mind toward that person but what they can't control is that it is actually to all people. It takes a strong minded person to be able to control who they are cold hearted to and who not to be

Answer 8

Yes, she has gone through an emotional trauma...without help, she will not be herself again...

Answer 9

Her anger is showing.