Wife of 11 years is going to 15 year high school getaway.She wants permission to sleep with her old boyfriend.

Question

They are going to a resort for 15 year. I do not want to go and am going to stay home and take care of our 3 kids. She wanted me to go but I really do not want to and have things going on at work that week. It is only 2 days and 1 night. For years we have both had fantasys about this typ of thing during sex. Now that she is 33 and done having kids she is ready to try. It does turn me on but I am not sure about going though with it. Any advice on this subject?

Answer 1

This is really going to have a negative effect on your trust with

one another. Don't let it happen! Been there, done that. You

really don't know what you're getting yourselves into if you let

her go through with it. I cannot advise against it enough. If

this is something that you both really want to do after all of

your kids have grown and moved out, then that would be the

only time that it should even be a consideration. If you do it

now, it will not only have a negative effect on you and your

wife, but it will adversely affect your 3 kids -more than you

know. Really, save any fantasies like that until the kids are

grown and have moved out of your house.

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Answer 2

It will change everything. It might make your marriage break up. It's a great fantasy but beyond that?.....Sounds like a can of worms I would've left closed. Now that she's opened it, eek! Even if you said no, who's to say she'll comply?

If you aren't there, isn't it adultery? For the first time you need to be there so it's something you share as a couple. Also, you can have safety words that can be said when you've had enough in case you can't handle it. That way the session will stop before feelings are hurt.

Answer 3

You are married! As for the fantasy thing, it is just that a fantasy! Your wife should not have even asked that of you in the first place. You are a grown man, do you want your wife to sleep with someone else? You married her because evidently you didn't want anyone else, I hope that is why she married you too. Think about it. Tell her how you feel. I would say no. When I was married, my husband would have first laughed because he would have thought I was joking and then he would say no on top of alot of other things!

Answer 4

Are you kidding me?
Okay, let's take this situation apart. So, she goes away, has sex with her old boyfriend. Comes home, you think it's hot. You two have sex. Now, a month later...
1.) Does the old boyfriend call her continuously?
2.) Are you insecure because you think she had better sex with him than you?
3.) Does she want to keep having sex with other men because she already has broken that boundary?
4.) Are you worried she'll have sex with other men and not tell you?

To each their own with sexual boundaries and levels of commitment. However, think of what happens AFTERWARDS before allowing something to happen.

Answer 5

Try maybe fnding some kind of a swingers forum to talk to people about how they dealt with any uncomfortable or jealous feelings. I think it is kind of cool that you guys are so open in your relationship, but if this is the first time this is happening, you don't want it to ruin any future "fun" you guys could be having. In this situation I think most people like to be present while their spouse is having sex with someone else, or to just get all the details afterwards while the husband and wife go at it, but if you aren't even going to be there it might be hard to deal with. If you have any time before the reunion is there a way you guys could have a trial run to see how you both feel, like maybe find another couple to play with beforehand. At any rate, who even says this old BF will even want her? He might be married, gay or even fat and ugly and your wife might now want him. I guess just open communication about possible scenarios and feelings and how you would deal with them. It can be done, but just be sure before b/c you don't want to ruin your marriage. :-) Have fun!

Answer 6

Very very very very very bad idea. Awful idea, if you are into swinging then do it with new people you meet at a swingers club or a place like that, dont let your wife sleeo with someone she used to be romantic with, thats a whole bag of emotions that will get opened. Also, how do you know this guy is single? After 15 years, he probably has a wife and kids of his own, or even if he doesnt wont want to sleep with someone from his past. If you love your wife, why want to share her? What if she sees something in this guy and runs away with him? What if she does things with him that you've always wanted her to do to you. Dont do it man, its a real bad move.

Answer 7

I agree, you should either go with her, or suffer the consequences. There are very few marriages that survive after one or both start to sleep around. The purpose of marriage is a promise that you will only be with that other person, and respect the union. Why be married if you are not living up to the promises made at the beginning?

Answer 8

There's a really big difference between fantasy and reality. Don't do it. It sounds like she's looking for an affirmation that she's still "Got it" after all these years, but having sex with another man isn't going to prove that. It's going to lead to guilt, jealousy, and a lot of second thoughts on everyone's part.

Sometimes, flirting and knowing that you COULD is more satisfying than actually doing.

Answer 9

if you aren't sure than it's probably not the right time to try it...wouldn't you rather be there, or not? gosh I don't know, so you are saying that the thought of your wife getting banged by some other guy turns you on? maybe you guys should try swinging, together, check out some books on it and read about it first....I would think you'd have to have a pretty strong relationship for this to work OK.....

Answer 10

genuinely, i ought to assert bypass for it, in case you do not ideas and it turns you on. tell her she has this permission only this time and to have a good time with herself to the fullest, and that you go with her to inform you all about it even as she receives domicile. Then even as she comes domicile, get into mattress jointly, have some candles lit, and performance her grant you with each and every of the information. enable your human being fantasies bypass wild and enable her being grew to grow to be on turn you on. contact her. And take advantage outstanding love that you and her have ever made. yet maximum heavily, you're at a crossroads. in case you assert no now, this chance received't come back. Plus she would sense somewhat resentment because you've been comfortable with it in the previous and now are not. yet in case you assert convinced, who knows what complications ought to face up? Make your selection and choose that regardless of you go with, you income this without regrets. do not second wager your selection.