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does being yourself help you to become more popular at college? i have been in college for like 4 months now and ive onli made like 1 friend.. its the type of college where everyone know everyone but am too scared to show my personality because what if people loose respect for me

2007-01-26 06:10:26 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science Psychology

16 answers

Dude, I'm in the same boat as you. I don't know any. I'm scared to walk up and just start talking, that would a little odd. Some people just say wait; you will make friends. Give it time.

2007-01-26 06:15:17 · answer #1 · answered by Arnold 3 · 0 0

At your age and situation, you have several conflicting "demands."

On the one hand, not being yourself is the road to ruin. You may end up not liking the person you've become. And people can spot a phony.

On the other hand, if being yourself is keeping you from making friends (e.g., "yourself" is a shy person that never leaves the dorm), then totally being yourself isn't going to help.

You've on your own for the first time. In a new place, with new people with very diverse backgrounds. It's not like high school. So, it's hard. For everyone, really.

It's also a time where you're figuring out who you really are. You have the chance to remake yourself, even in small ways. You have the luxury of breaking out of the person you were, at home with your old friends and your family.

So, I'd suggest that you find small things to change. Things that you're comfortable doing, although do challenge yourself a little. For example, if parties aren't your things, then don't go hanging out at the frat houses. However, work on your social skills by going to a club meeting, a reception (maybe your major or department has something?), or participate in an intramural sport.

In the end, don't be scared to show who you are, if you like that person. And I assume you do. But do it in a way that allows you to "grow" that personality.

When I was in college, I was in the same boat. Most are, as I said. And I was very shy. But I slowly built a network of friends. Several of whom I still keep in touch with, years later.

For me, the #1 trick was meeting people in classes! You already have something in common. Go to the cafeteria (or wherever people at your school eat) and see if there's someone from your English class. Strike up a conversation about the class (e.g., "So, can you understand what Mr. Foofah was saying? I find he's a little hard to understand when he talks to the chalk board.")

As you settle into a major, you'll be seeing more and more people who have the same interests as you.

Give it time. But, in the end, be yourself. And those that lose respect for you... well, they'll figure out that you're a fake if you put on a phony personality, anyway.

2007-01-26 14:28:19 · answer #2 · answered by Jay 7 · 0 0

With the way colleges are these days, being a total a** h*** will make you popular.

Just to let you know|


Don't be down on yourself and find the decent people there who will be your true friends.




---

2007-01-26 14:17:58 · answer #3 · answered by Catholic Philosopher 6 · 0 0

BE YOURSELF!!

The bottom line is WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE??

If you are worried that people will not respect you if you are yourself and don't act "cool," the type of people who would lose respect for someone because they are not acting stereotypically 'cool' are not the type of people you want around anyway.

If you are yourself, assuming that you are kind and caring, you will eventually meet similar people or even different types of people who respect you for who YOU are. These are the types of people that are worth spending time with.

I know from personal experience that while not going out of my way to act 'cool' might not have always gotten me in with the 'IN" crowd, IN RETROSPECT (looking back) the 'in' crowd are usually not really the people who are beneficial to be around. They are often shallow and deceptive, BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT BEING THEMSELVES!

Think about that guy who was so cool in high school, often he still lives in his hometown and has not progressed much since his "cool peak."

It is better to figure out the world and what is really the best way to act first. This includes being kind to others (even if their ideas differ from your own), being respectful, helping those who need it, and similar actions.....

Being 'COOL' is NOT
SITTING AROUND WITH THE 'COOL' KIDS, TALKING SH*T ABOUT SOMEONE BEHIND THEIR BACK!!!

2007-01-26 14:54:16 · answer #4 · answered by k............... 1 · 1 0

college is not a popularity contest. You are there to get an education and prepare yourself for a profession.

You should always be yourself, regardless of where you are and what you are doing. Friendships come about naturally.

2007-01-26 14:19:18 · answer #5 · answered by Jack Chedeville 6 · 0 1

just have fun and be true to yourself, i was a lot older than most of my classmates when i started college, but i made a lot of good friends just from being myself, i went to a university with 27,000 people so it's not like everyone knew me but i did know a lot of people in my anthropology program

2007-01-26 14:23:25 · answer #6 · answered by maryanndertal 3 · 0 0

There are two things you can do.

Be fake and gain many friends who don't like you for you.

Or be yourself and see what the out come is. I cant give details because I don't knwo you but it is better to be yourself whether you will end up with many or not many friends.

2007-01-26 14:32:33 · answer #7 · answered by Koko Butta Kream 4 · 0 0

No. Being yourself makes you more real and honest. Most people in college are so full of themselves that they try to do whatever makes others happy. Stick to your principles and values. You will be glad one day.

2007-01-26 14:15:55 · answer #8 · answered by Isis 7 · 0 0

Depending on who yourself is, I'd imagine it helps you be more popular in any situation..If you paint a false image of yourself, that is later revealed to those you hope to impress, or win as friends...they will not be impressed, nor will they want to be your freinds.

2007-01-26 14:21:10 · answer #9 · answered by 35 YEARS OF INTUITION 4 · 0 0

Take up smoking because most college students smoke, so you'll make lots of friends at smoke breaks, otherwise prepare for a college life of solitude.

2007-01-26 14:17:07 · answer #10 · answered by ad121ana 3 · 1 1

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