Who is more correct?

Question

Ok I was talking with a girl last night. She has been my friend since forever not gf. The other night I was walking home from work (I always do), I work in the downtown near a university and on my way home two different groups of women avoided me as much as to walk to the other side of a three lane street then back again as soon as they passed me in both cases although I passed both of them separately two blocks from each other. I don't believe that I look that scary and I was wearing good slacks, black boots, a nice shirt, a blue nike hat and some headphones for my mp3. I was watching my feet because it was cold and I was using my shirt to protect my face against the cold. I am 6 ft and rather strongly built which is why they would be afraid. I thought that girls should be able to defend themselves and she says that they shouldn't have to worry about rape. Secondly, I don't ike being treated like a monster because I am built bigger. It is not my fault that I am bigger. Who is righter?

To be fair, I had turned up my collar because it was 20 degrees outside when I was going home. My face was visible and I don't walk funny.

Answer 1

No one is righter. They are right in not assuming that you are safe, even if you are. You are of course not wrong to be built big, but you have to understand the other point of view. Better to be safe than sorry, right? would you leave your car running and unlocked while you ran into the grocery store? No, ideally, you shouldn't have to worry about it, but you never know who's a thief and who's not.

Answer 2

No one is right in this situation. It not that you look scary or people are scared of you, but as a woman, you have to be wary of everyone. I am a woman and I do get scared walking by myself too and I will do the same thing. It doesn't mean I think the guy is bad, it is just better safe than sorry. Ted Bundy who was a really bad serial killer was a good looking guy, not scary at all, that's why he could get so close to women and take them away. So you just never know and as women, we have to be cautious. I would recommend if you are bothered by it, to just ignore it when it happens, but you could always try not having your shirt over your face, b/c that looks like someone who is trying to not be recognized. Also, try smiling at people as they walk by and make eye contact, even saying a friendly hello. You're right, you can't help that you are built a certain way, but you just have to know that it isn't personal. Take it as an example of how black guys must get treated alot b/c I know people do the same thing to them, look at them like they are some gang banger or a mugger or something, so just take this as an mind-opening experience and it may end up making you a more considerate, sympathetic person. At least that is a positive way of looking at it. :-)

Answer 3

Speaking as a female *old lady to be exact) Don't take it so personally. Look at the day and times we live in. Murder. Rape. Assaults happen more and more as time goes by. Children, Girls, Young lady's are told to avoid strangers on the street. Of course guys are told some of the same rules. But girls on the average aren't as strong as guys. So we do all we can to avoid danger. Bad guys & thieves wear all sorts of clothing styles. Bad guys have different ways to hurt and rob people. So my advice is not to worry about it. Was your walk at night?? Bad guys rob others at all times of the day.
Walk with someone. You know how guys have pick up lines ?? Make up a walking line. "Have a good night ladys and be very careful" So if you see these ladys again just maybe one night/day one will approach you. Good luck

Answer 4

Don't let it offend you. We live in a world where women have to be scared walking through downtown.

Instead of taking it as an insult, think of it as those girls helped you. I'm sure you are a gentleman and probably a hero and warrior at heart. You're probably the guy that would have protected them if someone else were to attack them and you walked up on the situation. Consider that these girls helped make your job as a gentleman and hero easier by taking the safest course.

Answer 5

Welcome to the real world of discrimination. They were right, from your own description you looked like trouble. Scenario's such as yours are not at all uncommon in the news. For all they knew, you could have dressed "innocent" in order to get closer to your victim and pulled a knife or a taser.

And what about the way women are treated that MAKES them have to take those extra precautions and be constantly aware of potentially dangerous situations?

You need to learn to be more sensitive to the everyday anxieties women live with that most men never consider, and your girl friends agreement with your side of the matter makes her sound like a fool.

Answer 6

Its not your fault that your bigger. You're right and you should tell your friend that everyone should know how to defend themselves against a rapist. The women that avoided you were probably just paranoid and a little nervous. Who wouldnt be with everything we hear in the news? And you mentioned it was nightime, I would be careful too. Don't let it get to you, they were just trying to stay safe. Good luck to you.

~flashylights*

Answer 7

You shouldn't be offended. Those women have to worry about their safety first; not if you look like you may or may not harm them. It was smart of those women to move away from you . They don't know you. So, I'm not sure what your friends stance was but I think she is correct.

Answer 8

Girls are being cautious these days, You never know who is going to grab you or hurt you, don't take it personally , they're just watching out for themselves and they don't know you.

Answer 9

girls walking at nite can never be too careful....if it were your friend or your girlfriend, wouldn't you want her to be just as cautious? don't fault them for wanting to be safe...it's not personal...they don't know you

Answer 10

You are right.