i am planning to lose my virginity to my boyfriend who i am in love with,and i would like other peoples views on what thier first time was like,but mainly i would like to know if it hurts the first time for a women?
2007-01-26 06:02:48 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
im 19 and i am very sensible about protection
2007-01-26 06:13:12 · update #1
Person P,
I understand your concern. There can be pain involved but that will depend on your own physical body. I personally did not experience physical pain and I had very little bleeding.
The most important pain to think about is the emotional pain that is increased when you become that intimate with another person.
Be absolutely certain that you are mature enough emotionally to deal with the consequences of losing your virginity. So ask yourself: How would I handle it if he didn't talk to me afterward? How would I handle it if he gossiped about me to his friends? How would I handle it if my parents found out? How would I handle it if I got a disease? How would I handle it if I got pregnant? How would I handle it if he broke up with me? How do I feel about adoption and abortion?
If you don't know the answers to these questions or if you suspect that you would want to crawl under a rock and die, then don't do it! You are not ready.
Ask yourself this about your boyfriend: Is this person someone who treats me with respect, care, patience, and understanding? Or is this a person who is immature, impatient and pushy? Will he be a parent with me if I get pregnant or will he flip out and leave?
Have you talked with your boyfriend about the responsibilities with sex like protection, pregnancy, abortion, parenting, and respectful privacy?
If you feel like your boyfriend is as in love with you as you are with him and that he is respectful to you, then I hope this is a tender and loving experience.
If not, hold on and wait.
Our hormones get us thinking about being with someone more than other things once we get that close to another person and you want to make sure that this closeness makes you a better person not a paranoid or hurt person. If he makes you feel bad about yourself in anyway, don't do it.
And remember, use protection so that you don't get pregnant. ALWAYS use a rubber to protect yourself from venereal diseases. Often your partner won't even know that they have a disease and they will pass it on to you. So be careful.
2007-01-26 06:28:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It does sometimes hurt for the first time. But not horrendously so, and mainly depends on whether your hymen (a membrane that partially covers the virgin vagina) is already broke through activities such as sports or the use of tampons.
My first time, to be honest wasn't great... I would have preferred to wait longer and gain a more trusting and loving relationship first. After loosing your virginity I found that there was awkwardness between myself and the guy over what to do next.
2007-01-28 08:27:51 · answer #2 · answered by K F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it does hurt a bit and your boyfriend needs to be gentle, but it will be a lovely romantic and intimate experience for you both. Make the evening really special, have some nice food and a glass of wine (but don't get drunk), light some candels and put nice music on. Its important to make it a special night because its a memory that will stay with you forever.
It is great you are doing this with somebody who really cares for you.
PS - regarding the wine that is assuming you are in the UK and can drink at 18, and not in the USA!
2007-01-26 06:47:12 · answer #3 · answered by molly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it your boyfriends first time as well ? if so then it might hurt as he may not know how to arouse you sufficently before attempting to penetrate you. The main thing to do is to take your time and have plenty of foreplay and be in a good environment where you are not worrying about people coming in on you if you do that and you feel safe and comfotable with each other then it shouldn`t hurt at all.
2007-01-26 08:59:12 · answer #4 · answered by bluegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, my first time was a complete disaster...i had one too many, and halfway through i passed out with her on top of me. i woke up to her sayin, "That was the best i've ever had..."
what i can suggest is (of course protection) but also some lube just in case. a bottle of KY jelly should make it a bit easier. tell your boyfriend to go slowly, and everything should start movin more fluidly.
women's bodies are different, some may have already unknowingly broken their hymen (ridin a horse, bicycle, etc.). best bet is to go slowly and take your time. if you'd like, get on top. this way, you have more control over the act.
i'm happy you've waited and shared this moment with someone you care about!
2007-01-27 04:07:16 · answer #5 · answered by robyoung3484 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We cant tell you for sure coz we dont know all what else you have been doing with your vagina. do you use vibrators or insert other things. then first time with man will be easy. how many fingers do you put inside. All of this will stretch you a little.
If you do heavy sports your hymen could also already be torn and so no real pain. We just don't know enough about you or your man. does he have a tiny penis or hung like a donkey.
Just let it happen and tell us how it went.
2007-01-26 18:35:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first time was rather uncomfortable.. Quite painful too. I bled for 3 days after losing my virginity (wasn't on my period).. It gets better with time and experience.
2007-01-26 06:41:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For me it did hurt a bit.
But after the first time, it just started getting better and better... Just be sure you're ready to do this and that you wont regret doing it with the guy you have chosen.
You may bleed, you may not... at any rate, do it slow... better that way. Enjoy!!!
2007-01-27 04:51:59 · answer #8 · answered by Stefani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi I'm 20 and from my experience it did hurt a little but didn't last long nor was it any extreme pain. Just make sure that you are ready emotionally and physically for sex. And always use protection, do it for yourself and for your partner.
2007-01-26 06:13:53 · answer #9 · answered by dlbyoung18 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the first time is like the first page in a book
2007-01-26 08:02:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋