I'm 22 never married, still at home and come from Italian-Irish Descent. He's 36 divorced with 1 son (visits) lives on his own, from English decent. We've been together for 10 months and we are so in love with eachother. My parents "don't have a problem with him, but he's not for you for long term." His parents " treasure her, she's the one for you." We're in no rush for any long term plans but we both know we've never really experienced love until now and we both feel that this is so right. I know by living under my parents roof, I have to respect their wishes, but I can't give him up and running off with him is not an option. How can I get them to see how good he is for me. My parents should understand: dad was married before to a widow (18 years difference) . mom was with her divorced uni professor (13 years difference) who had 2 kids. How can they judge when they have been in the same situation before? What should I do?
2007-01-26 05:50:59 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
FYI: My father's 1st marriage was for business she was too old to bear children.My mother did not end up with her prof b/c he has a vasectomy which he did not plan to reverse for her. Ultimately they left these matches to find someone to have a child with. My mother only married my dad b/c he was the President of a successful company. My dad married my mom because he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Mom's parents (Italians) did not want this divorced man to marry their daughter but in the end they did accept him. Why should my situation be any different?
2007-01-26 05:57:46 · update #1
Sometimes is hard for parents to set aside their beliefs or feelings and realize that their child is fully capable of knowing what is good for them. I would sit down with my parents and tell them exactly how you feel. No shouting, arguing or anything, just an adult conversation. If he makes you that happy then it is very important that you help them to understand where you are coming from. They obviously love you and want you to be happy and if this person makes you happy then you should definitely let them know.
2007-01-26 06:02:29 · answer #1 · answered by mommasquarepants 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should wait. If you are not in a hurry, as you state, then it shouldn't be a problem to wait. If you still feel the same way in three or four years, then it is right for you. But given your age, you may find that you don't feel the same way about him in a few years. Further, if he is divorced, then he needs time to think about what went wrong the first time around and make sure that he is making the right decision to make a commitment to you. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but I am just being honest.
2007-01-26 13:58:01 · answer #2 · answered by Monkey Lips 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would not break up w/ him it sounds like you two really love eachother and that is hard to find. Just make sure that your parents understand that your situation is similar to theirs, remind them what it is like to be in love. Would they rather you be with a total jerk? At least you have a good man!! I think that they will come around sooner or later esp once they realize you are in love w/ him. Do keep in mind though that in my experience parents are like that too no one will EVER be good enough for you! My Mom is sooo like that...sux but that is how most parents are so don't let it bother you. Good luck to you love is wonderful!!!
2007-01-26 13:59:32 · answer #3 · answered by me! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that since your parents have both been married to other people, with a big age difference for both of them, they do not want you to make the same mistakes that they did. Your parents only want what's best for you.
2007-01-26 14:02:42 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really awesome that you try to respect your parents wishes; however, you need to take care of yourself.
You probably should move out, that might be a first step, have your bf visit frequently for now, so your parents can appreciate him more, too.
2007-01-26 14:02:40 · answer #5 · answered by avechm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not forbidden. Plus, you're old enough to move out and get a place with him regardless of what others think, or get a place on your own and have sleep overs. : ) When it comes to love always make your own choices. Good luck.
2007-01-26 13:59:25 · answer #6 · answered by AngieBaby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They shouldn't be judging you. You are 22. Get a really good job get a house and when you do they can't boss you around anymore.
2007-01-26 13:58:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Continue seeing him. Your parents will come to understand in the future.
2007-01-26 13:57:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You follow your heart and let your parents come to terms with your choice.
You have to do what makes you happy in life.
They are your parents but your grown up & know your own heart and what it is that makes you happy.
2007-01-26 13:58:11 · answer #9 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can they judge? They can judge because they've been there and they have suffered through the pain and problems of their relationships. I'll bet they don't want you to suffer the same things they did.
2007-01-26 13:58:40 · answer #10 · answered by autimom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋