My girlfriend and I have NOTHING to talk about?

Question

I really need help. My gf and I have been together for 8 mths. We have NOTHING to talk about. Very rarely do i feel a sense of closeness with her. I think it's noteworthy to say that she has a 5 yr old daughter and a disability (she walks with the assistance of crutches). Most of the time, we just sit and watch TV. I asked her how she can be with such a boring person like myself (I am an introvert and very insecure). She says that she doesn't mind my quiet nature, and I bring a smile to her face when she thinks about me. We don't fight, but that close bond just seems non-existent. How can I break out of my shell? How can I defeat my fears, and just be me? I do love her and her daughter. I'm ready to provide for both of them, but on the same token, I don't want to end up in a relationship/marriage that has no passion. I want to be in this for the long haul, but I'm scared. Even when we go places together, we don't talk much. I have a boring job. She yaks on sometimes.

Answer 1

You have a beautiful, honest, healthy relationship. You love each other and accept each other the way you both are. Honey, if you want to put a spark in the relationship, you have to do some homework and so does she.

You are both afraid of expecting/wanting more becuase you are both insecure and afraid of being rejected. That's why you don't fight, not because you don;t feel the urge sometimes, but because you are farid of losing each other.

Fisrt of all, what do you enjoy doing? Remember back in Highschool, what did you used to enjoy doing> Singing> Painting> Playing an instrument? rekindling the relationship with yourself and your interest will bring plenty of activities and conversation.

Plan family dates and couple dates. Youc an go to a theme park or zoo and get some excitement! They rent adult scooter for adults so she can get around easier. You can have picnic in the park, cook an EXOTIC meal at home, sing a song to your loved one.

Conversation wise, do some homework, That's how I do. I look at the news everyday and find an interesting topic of conversation to discuss over dinner. Bring a magazone or book home and read it together and comment on it. Also, if she likes to do X or Y, reserach about it and talk to her about it, she'll be trilled that you took the time to know more about her, where she is from, or her favorite show, for example.

You don't seem boring to me, yo do however seem to have low self steem. Everyone is special in their own way and evryone has a special talent. You seem to be a very caring and lovable person and so does she, enjoy your relationship and each other, not everyone is as lucky as you too.

Good luck

Answer 2

First off stop putting yourself down---there is a big difference between being quiet and being boring. Being open and vulnerable is all about risk taking and trust. Perhaps in your past relationships or in ur childhood u experienced some sort of hurt lke rejection or ridicule that has left you with unresolved issues? If this is the case then perhaps a brieft course of counseling would benefit you. You also seem to be pressuring yourself to have conversation with your g/f but she stated she is comfortable with you quiet nature. U need to talk over these issues with her and let her know how you feel. Why is your job boring? Can you do something else? good luck

Answer 3

You really need to learn to start communicating now or this will never last and work out for you and it will only get worse. Go to a local bookstore and look for books on communicating with your partner or spouse.... I know that Christian bookstores sell some too. If she yacks just listen and respond to what she is talking about... You can still communicate and tell her how your day went at work.

Answer 4

try something at first that doesn't involve talking, I know a couple who had a journal, and they would take turns writing in it, like they were writing to each other. sometimes it was words from the heart, or poetry, or possible song lyrics, talk about your dreams, ask her questions about hers.....just an idea

Answer 5

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway....find out what you are capable of. Remember, fear is just a feeling, not an action. You can control your movements, and what you say....spit it out, and while you are, you will feel fear, but that's all...the feeling goes away, but your actions and words will last a lifetime.

Answer 6

I don't mean to be prude but, Have you slept with her? If not try that if that doesn't bring you closer then I don't think much else can. I mean if you are an introvert then who else do you have to blame but yourself? If you love her then you love her, as for passion...you have to put that there, it doesn't just pop up!!