My friend is doing a stupid stupid thing. She is not legal in the USA, and now she wants to get pregnant with her current bf to stay here she's wont get married either she told me before she is not ready for it yet. I know she loves kids and she is on the pill but she wants to stop taking it, I also know that her bf love her and wont mind having a kid, but is it the right think to do not by telling him.
I have no clue what to tell her any advise so i can change her mind.
I AM KINDA DESPERATE cos shes been having this idea for a while now
2007-01-26 05:35:48 · 17 answers · asked by bcb 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
She lives with her bf and he takes good care of her.
2007-01-26 05:40:27 · update #1
Unless the laws have recently changed, having a child in the US does not make you a legal citizen. It makes your child a citizen, but not you. She can still be deported at any time. What's worse, not only can she be deported at any time, she could be seperated from her child. Also, if their relationship fails (her and her boyfriend) she has no legal rights to the child, he can be awarded full custody. If she won't tell him she's off BC you should.
2007-01-26 05:55:54 · answer #1 · answered by autumnofserenity@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all just because she has a child who is a US citizen doesn't make her legal or give her the right to stay here. She will have to get married and have her spouse petition to bring her here legally, but she will most likely be deported and have a 10 year bar placed against her. Secondly, she should not just stop taking the pill without telling her boyfriend. Having a child is a big responsibility and a decision that should be made by both partners not just one.
2007-01-26 06:45:37 · answer #2 · answered by Brittany M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend may feel lonley and in need of someone who "loves her unconditionally". I think many women look at babies as a source for this love, which can be a huge mistake. If I were you I would talk to your friend about her motives. Find out exactly why she wants to have a child at a point in her life where she is so unstable.
Ask her to tell you what kind of life she wants for her baby (ie. a stable two parent family...able to stay home and raise it) and then ask her if she feels that is something she would be able to provide. I don't think telling or not telling her boy friend will change anything as there are many potential sperm donors in the world. My advice is to help her to see the point of view of her future child rather than her own selfish point of view.
She is lucky to have a friend like you.
2007-01-26 05:56:13 · answer #3 · answered by katiebug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a selfish little BI^&%* seriously. If she wants to stay here, she can apply for a green card, or marry this guy.
having a child does NOT mean the US will keep her. She can still get deported. And she's going to bring a child into this world under a pretense of lies and manipulation? Getting PREGNANT in the US won't keep her here.
honestly, I think you should tell the BF. This girl needs mental help, honestly, because what she is doing is considered manipulation, and he SHOULD dump her. And she's going to bring an innocent child into the middle of her petty petty games.
2007-01-26 05:46:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to learn American laws...just because she has a child, doesn't mean she becomes a citizen. The child is a citizen, she is not- and they can legally deport her. It's happening in Chicago right now. They're trying to deport a woman back to Mexico because she is not legal, even though she has a child who was born here. She has to marry an American to become a legal citizen. Tell her to learn the law, before she wrecks her life with a child she doesn't even want, and they'll deport her anyway!!!
2007-01-26 05:47:43 · answer #5 · answered by Tara 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter if she is your friend or not by covering up what she going to do is making you automatically connected to the wrong doing. I would tell her to tell her BF and she does not want to tell him, then you do it . Believe me when somethign starts out wrong it will most likely end that way.
2007-01-26 05:48:27 · answer #6 · answered by lanni 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not right that she wants to do that.....she is financially able to have kids? from experience...my friends had kids to stay int he Us too but it doesn't matter.....maybe she'll be treated a little easier but she can still get sent back and her baby could go to the father. you should talk to her to make sure she knows what shes doing and if she still decides shes financially able and that she really wants a child then she should go for it ,but she should talk to her bf about it first.
2007-01-26 05:49:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the stupidest reason to stay in the US. You should tell him, if you think it will hurt someone. I am the kind of person that will tell someone something if I think it is life changing like that, but that is for you to decide.
2007-01-26 05:47:07 · answer #8 · answered by MyOpinionMatters 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she is deceptive she may have already come off the pill and hasn't told you. You need to be upfront with her and tell her how wrong it is to do what she is doing. It's your responsibility to talk to her, that is what friends are for.
2007-01-26 05:46:33 · answer #9 · answered by wheezerthill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when u sometimes say stupid things to ur fdriends u are probably trying hard to get them to like u i was in the same sitution, all i did was relax when i am around my friends and think before i talk
2016-05-24 02:21:16 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋