Do you believe that humans are 'supposed to be' monogamous?

Question

Aren't some humans naturally polyamorous (meaning capable of being in love with more than one person at a time)? I am (naturally) as monogamous as they come, but is it right for me to expect or demand others be like me?

Any thoughts on this? All are welcome - not looking for arguments!!

Answer 1

The biology of the human species dictates that we are not monogamous. That upstart religion about 1000 years ago made it part of their religion but they said being monogamous was having only one wife.. They licensed all of the brothels to the church so that you could have all of the sex that you wanted, but only one wife. Then they changed things as they became more popular. But it is strictly a social situation.

Answer 2

Actually it is more realistic to believe that humans evolved to mate and stay with that mate for the first year or so. Having said that, yes if not conditioned to be monamorous, people would tend to be polyamorous. Think about it, we don't just love our spouses, we love our children, relatives, special friends etc. Why should there be only one that we share sex with?

In Western/European society, it has been mostly monogamous due to one or two misconstured passages in the new testament. Other cultures have (and are) praticed both multiple husbands and wives.

It's also good to note that monogamy is rarely found in other animals, even in swans the pair will spilt up or if one dies the other will find a new mate. Many animals will choose a mate for providing but will seek another for the actual fertilization.

Answer 3

I am in a monogamous relationship and I have studied human behavior in a very serious manner since as early as 15 years old.

I personally believe that the majority of Humans are NOT monogamous by genetic predisposition. Scientist have done dna research that shows the majority of human population is the result of polygamous interaction.

Monogamy to me is a man made idea as is marriage etc. It was and is an ideal that many humans strive for for various reasons.

One of the reasons that marriage was created for the benefit of Kings and rulers. They figured the men in their society would riot if they had no access to women, therefore marriage allowed men to have a sexual release while limiting their choices so the Kings and rulers could have the lion's share of women etc.

I do believe that a small percentage of Humans are genetically predisposed with respect to being inclined to exhibiting behavior of a monogamous nature.

For the most part, the human mating dance is such that generally two people of the opposite sex see each other display value, create attraction, become attracted, beginning the love cocktail of endorphans that keep us addicted to each other aka "love" generally long enough for us to produce an offspring and raise it for at least a few years, then the 3 and/or 7 year itch happens where the "love" cocktail dissipates and we eventually go about looking for the same fix with someone else. It is written in our genetic code.

Answer 4

I have thought about that many times and am also VERY much devoted to just one person and know that I can be with just one for my remaining years on earth...lol...but I am not sure if humans are in general monogamous. I think so.
Yes, I do think we can expect others to be like us. Either that or find someone who shares the same devotion and/or opinion.
I would even go as far as saying that it is extremely important nowadays to be with just one person in a monogamous relationship - too many diseases etc. out there.

Answer 5

Even from a logical standpoint, it makes no sense to have multiple sex partners, or attempt to love equally two or more partners in the same fashion. Any form of polygamy is a horrible reduction from the intended joy that marriage can bring, and to look at the women who share a man, and live with a household full of chidren witnessing this, it is nothing more than breeding another self centered belief into the children, and letting it free into the world. How can one love more than one, in an amorous way, and not cause jealousy or pain by trying to love another? It is not love, but some modified version that is not only harmful to those involved, but simply just plain primitive in thought. Of course, as children we will experiment with sex, but as adults, we should try to seek the truth about the healthy benefits of monogamy.

Answer 6

Human beings are by nature polyamorous and polygamous that's why there are cheating husbands and wives. Personally, I'm monogamous but also polaymorous.

Answer 7

I think histroically, the human race has not been monogamous until recently. Overcoming this tendancy does not seem to be a simple task. However, it is my personal belief that we choose to be with one person for the rest of our lives as a commitment. Each one of us make that choice every day. And i think that is the point. To choose to be with the same person every minute of every moment. Maybe we are "supposed" to be polyamorous, from a genetic standpoint it is better for our gene pool, but we are no longer animals of consequence.

Answer 8

Young human adult males pursue a mixed mating strategy -- they want exclusive access to a particular female, while simultaneously attempting to initiate sex with ANY female who will hold still long enough and not complain too loudly.

It's just a way of making sure that an individual's particular allele set increases in frequency in the next generation.

Answer 9

not because they are human but because some try to be civilized, that requires manners and not killing each other , animals require there own space,in cities you have none,and some have returned to marking territory like animals,this is not civilized but a fact of life,and they hunt down and kill like the jungle. So we all have a choice of how we want to live.But once you start down that road you may not be able to turn around so easy.A dog will be a dog always.

Answer 10

I think thats just such an excuse for people who want to be philanderers. Humans are more intelligent than animals that move from partner to partner and the whole point is that humans are supposed to biologically create a family unit with a partner.