im away my job has kept me out of country since sep and i still got till summer to go back home..I have a wife and 10 month daughter I love them both , I have lie cheated (just talking to ex-girlfriend on e-mail) but she thinks i actually slep with her..we argue a lot on the phone she doesnt tell me i love u no more or says she misses me bacause i have hurt her in the past..i promise her time and time again i will change and this time im willing to put all eforts in what can i do while im here to make it up to her and not argue with her while im here?.......imvery selfish with her i admit that I promise her everything that i will be good when i get back but in the past i go back to the ways she doesnt like about me? what can i do to ern her trust again and make her know that i do care for her...
2007-01-26 05:08:19 · 19 answers · asked by DAMIEN 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Once it's been abused and broken, getting trust back is like the first 20 minutes of "Saving Private Ryan" -- every inch you crawl up the beach, you earn.
You have to be continuously aware that only through consistent and long-lasting actions will you slowly get back, inch by inch, the miles of trust you threw to the wind when you cheated.
2007-01-26 07:07:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk is cheap.
Change yourself now before you get back. List the five or ten things you need to do to be a decent person that any woman would want. Ask her to please list a few things that you forgot. This isn't about what color underwear to wear...it is about reestablishing trust and communication.
There is no fast fix. If you love someone, you need to be someone worth loving. If you argue with her...why would she care? If you say one thing and do another, why would she care? I wouldn't.
Walk the walk. If you are selfish...then figure out why. Grow up!
You have a daughter and a wife that do not have you to depend upon. And you set a bad example for her to believe. Lets face it...if you are out of the country and you are selfish too (!), then what good are you?
Be a husband. Listen. Change. And change isn't easy. Fess up your weaknesses....and then make a plan. Stick with the plan or get use to the idea that you will have no one to come home too.
Thats your answer buddy. If you lose her trust...it won't come back. So go slow... be sincere, and maybe you still have a chance.
2007-01-26 05:20:11 · answer #2 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
proof is in the pudding. Words are words, you will have to show her and ask her if she will give you the opportunity to show you that you are 100% committed to making her happy. You are not going to hurt her anymore and you know how important she and your baby are. You may want to consider less travel away from her, that is a huge strain on your relationship. If she doesn't trust you already from things you've done, being away for long periods only eats at her, and she's distraught and will always be defensive and untrusting. She does love you I can tell but if you don't make the changes, she will make her own changes. Having a baby gives you this feeling of "I can do it by myself, I'm already alone all the time anyway," and some other man will come along and devote all his attentions to her, and you will be reduced to visitation and child support.
2007-01-26 05:16:05 · answer #3 · answered by Cute Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're a bit of a dog. But first, you show up one weekend and surprise her with nothing but romance. Then you SHOW her you're ex's email address is no longer in your computer, her phone number is no longer in your phone. You then earn her trust back over time by not lying, cheating, and being a jerk. After you've been a good guy for a while she may trust you again.
2007-01-26 05:23:55 · answer #4 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust is earned through actions not words. So far all you have done is alot of talking but then not followed through. She should have dumped you a long time ago. For whatever reason she keeps giving you more and more chances and you keep blowing it. If you want her trust and respect back, stop running your mouth about how good are going to be and just start being good.
2007-01-26 05:16:05 · answer #5 · answered by javelin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing at the moment, but to sit still, be the best husband you can possibly think of, and wait. It might take you years to make her trust you again. Oh, and NEVER EVER let her down! Always be the person she can be proud of, and be there for her. Need I say keep it in your pants till summer? I wish you the best of luck and lots of patience. You'll make it, I bet.
2007-01-26 05:23:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, i do not imagine it is a few thing on the threshold of infidelity. Porn is only some thing to seem at or watch, he's only no longer doing the different chick. And masturbation is healthy, even even as sex is popular. My husband and that i both watch porn and masturbate, and we've sex reguallarly. I see no longer some thing incorrect with any of it.
2016-10-16 03:35:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she isn't telling you she loves you anymore, it sounds like she has moved on without you. Do not be surprised if you come home to divorce papers being served.
We woman only take so much of lying and cheating before we have had enough, some of us have learned not to take any!
IF you want to save your marriage you need to seek marriage counseling as soon as you get home.
2007-01-26 05:17:25 · answer #8 · answered by Serenayowlerlove 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can say at this point is nothing really. I'd take a chance though and fly home unexpectedly even if its just for a fewa hours. Show here you love her!!
2007-01-26 06:36:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to woo her again and make her feel special. When you get back, get a babysitter and take her out to dinner and to a hotel for the night and make passionate love.
2007-01-26 06:27:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋