I believe that a woman losing her last name in favor of her husband's name is an outdated and sexist tradition. I think the ideal situation (for the sake of equality in our modern times) would be for my husband and I to combine last names (Mason-Rohloff or Rohloff-Mason). Do people think this is "too much" of a last name?
Other options we are considering are:
1. Same as above, minus the hyphen
2. Putting my maiden name as my middle name (which I really don't want to do because my middle name is in honor of my uncle who almost died before I was born).
2007-01-26 04:38:46 · 9 answers · asked by marvy18 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why not try a # 3:
Just add his last name to yours. So, you could be referred to as "Jame Tyler Johnson Smith" OR "Jane Smith" or "Jane Tyler Smith" as circumstances dictate.
You tell people what you want to be called and that is what you will be called, even if legally your name is something else.
I always recommend that wives take their husband's last name. It is proper etiquette and shows respect for him as a gentleman and as your husband.
Similar to the deference that he probably shows you in social setting, which demonstrates respect for you in ways that you might not show to him (opening doors, helping with coats, etc.)
None of these things demean the other, rather they show respect.
2007-01-26 05:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by Carl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I decided to hyphenate because my first name doesn't go with anything (I'm Korean). For professional purposes/legal purposes I go by the hyphenated last name which is the legal name I am now known by (Lee-Donkin). However, for casual or personal purposes like personal stationery, I just go by Mrs. Donkin.
But changing your name is general can be tricky. I've been married less than a year, and I have noticed problems with my credit report because my name is being reported in all sorts of strange combinations. Also, for professional purposes changing the name can cause problems - like customers not being able to find your name in the phone book, etc. if you are a well known lawyer or doctor - things like that.
I would recommend that you husband keep his name. You should hyphenate or take on a double middle name. I can understand that you middle name is in honor of an uncle, but you're married now which is a totally different ball game. What about honoring your husband?
2007-01-26 07:46:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you what name you want as your married name. Your maiden name will always be the same and only yours, passed on from your father, of course.
When I married in the Netherlands, it is required that I use his last name and then my last name; it is considered the legal name there. Now that we are back in USA, I use my name for which I was known here in Calif. (I was a professional), and also it is my children's last name. Everything I have, bank accounts, etc are, as before, in my name.
It doesn't matter what I am called. I use the name that is legally correct. In Holland, it was the dual name, not hyphenated, but a separation, not run together. In USA, I prefer to use my known professional name because I am too lazy to go and get everything changed over.
Discuss it with your husband, decide which name fits the two of you best, and good luck.
2007-01-26 04:52:31 · answer #3 · answered by dutchlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hyphenated names seem so pretentious.
My wife uses her maiden name as her middle name when signing
business documents. She uses her middle name the rest of the time.
The view from the traditional side is that your maiden name is your child name. To try to retain your maiden name after marriage indicates you are not ready to accept your adult role as part of your husband's family. Maybe you are not really ready to be married if you are wrapped up on keeping your single identity.
2007-01-26 05:15:06 · answer #4 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I kept my last name. It hurt my husband's feelings at first but he quickly got over it. Keep your last name. It's much easier in life to manage.
2007-01-26 04:45:42 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking my husbands name was a special event for me. It shows you are proud of your marriage and your commiment to your bond.
I say take his name - whether you keep yours and add his to the end or what ever - His names should be last
2007-01-26 04:54:44 · answer #6 · answered by Confussedhere 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think hyphenated names are absolutely ridiculous. I don't feel it's outdated or sexist; it's called being a married couple and a family.
2007-01-26 04:47:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Personally I hate hyphonated names, esp. kids - what will your children do?
Its really up to you. I kept my last name. My sisters changed theirs, and I heard of a man who changed to his wifes.
2007-01-26 04:46:20 · answer #8 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are wrong...
You should take your husbands last name...
Unless you do not think highly enough of him...
2007-01-26 04:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋