I have a husband that acts like he is obessed with sex. it doesn't matter if i played it easy by giving him that at night he still wakes me up in the morning wanting more? i have two kids, and i watch them all day, he goes to work. I always want my sleep in the morning before our kids get up. but he is always be the one waking me up touching me and when i say NO he gets all mad and starts cursing at me. What should i do? I am under alot of stress and i need my sleep as much as i can get it.
2007-01-26 04:28:33 · 43 answers · asked by Nascar Momma 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
to add the detail. he used to not bug me this much when we didn't have kids. but sense our sex relation ship had gone more wild when we do have it, it gets more interesting to him. He even said to me alot of times that i am the freakish woman he ever had in his life. so maybe that's one of the reasons why he is soo into it? Maybe?
2007-01-26 04:56:20 · update #1
You know what people! It not about turning me on. I love my husband and i feel that he is attracted. what i was trying to say is it doesn't matter how much i give it to him he still ask more, and wakes me up in the freaken morning before my kids do. Sometimes he does this stuff in front of the kids. So don't even try to blame all this on me. I am just stressed out trying to give what ever body else wants but no one never cares about what i want. I always give give give. So you really don't know what is going on. I am just trying to get an advice on what to do. I am surprised i don't have grey hairs on my head. to me the marriage isn't about sex. to the people that think that way about marriage.
2007-01-26 05:53:31 · update #2
Wow. This is very serious indeed. I am a Psychologist and I can guess as far as I can without seeing your husband in person that he seems to be jealous of your attention. His escalated sexual interest could be because he is feeling insecure. He seems to be using sex as an escape mechanism or expression of other repressed emotions. Has anything happened recently that has shaken your relationship? Are you both faithful to each other? What do you know of the state of his job? Has there been any drastic changes? Maybe you aren't spending much time together talking and touching (non-sexually) and he simply misses you. Whatever it is, it is very childish of him to resort to cursing and you should set him straight asap. You have TWO children not THREE so do not react to his tantrums. Tell him his cursing you out is childish and ask him in a calm, clear voice what exactly he is angry about. Try having a calm conversation with him after you have had sex. And if this doesn't work then try couple's counselling before this problem becomes insurmountable, which it can fairly fast. You should also start asking questions. Involve yourself with what is going on around you. Don't just focus on taking care of the children. It seems to be overshadowing the rest of your life. Good luck!
2007-01-26 07:46:15 · answer #1 · answered by Jenny C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont mean to disrespect your husband but he sounds very selfish. Is he maybe slightly insecure and feels he has to make sure u are sexually satisfied incase you run off with someone .. being a full time stay at home mum might play on his mind. The problem is the more times u do it in this way the less you probably get to actually fully enjoy it . If he is ok at listening i would arrange a meal .. act cool .. let him drink and after 2 pints say how great you think your sex life is for a couple with two kids but then approach the subject of how it gets to you sometimes the way he is ... hopefully in neuteral surroundings and whilst holding hands he will be able to see it from your angle ... difficult one to answer without knowing his personality. Good luck though it cant be nice for you.
2007-01-26 05:22:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I stay at home with my 6 month old. Even with one child, it is exhausting. Talk to your husband about how much ou love and care for him. Tell him you are so attracted to him, but sometimes you need a break and sleep in. The way you say no might make him offended. By shouting, god no! or, NO, I am sleeping...( not saying this is how you do it) Might make him feel less attractive to you. He might worry if he satisfy you, and are you still interested? Maybe try to put the kids to bed early three times a week, and that is your couple time. If you try to make him feel like your attracted and initiate some intimacy, he might lay off the 2 o clock in the morning sex. If you do not want to have sex, then you do not have to, it is better to have quality sex, than quantity.
2007-01-26 04:38:16 · answer #3 · answered by Brandy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've played both sides of this problem in two different marriages. The answer is not a simple one. On the one hand you have to be sympathetic to your husbands needs. It's no fun to be sexually frustrated. He probably has other problems on his mind and having sex is making him feel better. On the other hand you need your sleep and not getting enough would mess up anyones day. I would say talk to him about some guidelines but be flexible. Ask him to respect your critical sleep time and offer to make an effort to satisfy him earlier in the evening before you go to bed. You may also talk to him more about his day because it may clue you in about what's driving his sexual need besides the fact that "he's a guy".
2007-01-26 05:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by IveBeenThere 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is definitely a two-sided coin. For one thing, he shouldn't be cursing you for saying no. He needs to be sympathetic to your needs for rest as.
On the other hand, you should be grateful he finds you irresistable and you should also be sympathetic to his needs for sex. A man's sex drive often peaks in the early hours of the morning when he first wakes up.
I suggest you to come to some sort of a compromise. Please don't just blow him off. It really is no fun being sexually frustrated. That only goes on for so long before a man starts looking for other outlets to relieve sexual tension. Before you know it, you're asking questions about why he never wants to have sex with you...
My wife and I have been there, but we worked it out so that we could both be happy (and satisfied). I know you asked for the women's views, but I hope it's beneficial to consider the man's perspective as well.
Good luck!
2007-01-26 05:56:37 · answer #5 · answered by Leroy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand and you're not alone. Sometimes our Husbands don't realize all that we do daily and how overwhelming and tiresome it could be. Perhaps, you should suggest to him a week in your shoes so he'll get an idea of all that you do. At the same time, such "rejections" ( for the lack of a better word) does not deserve anger or inappropriate language for it certainly doesn't get you "In the mood".. Remind him that your lives have changed. With children comes many changes not only financially, or responsibly but also sexually. However, blessed they maybe, they come with alot sacrifices and changes. But, at the same time it doesn't mean that there shouldn't be no romance. Set a date for such activites for such bonding is essential and key to a happy marriage. Good Luck!!!
2007-01-26 05:02:32 · answer #6 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My dh doesn't get angry, he just acts like a hurt little boy who isn't getting his way. We have a disabled child, so when I go to the doctor, dh has to leave work to come home and watch her. I found out this week that I'm diabetic. I get home from the appointment and as soon as I walk in the door, he's telling me that our daughter is asleep so let's go in the bedroom. I looked at him in absolute awe and told him I've just been diagnosed with diabetes and my whole life is going to change, do you really think I'm in the mood right now? I could see the hurt on his face, but he apologized and said he just wanted to make me feel better. Yeah right, it was me he was thinking about. Anyway, we talked about it later and he told me he understands now why I wasn't in the mood - he didn't realize what big changes I was going to have to make in my life. Even though it had been an emotionally and physically exhausting day, he was "rewarded" for his understanding. ; )
2007-01-26 07:26:01 · answer #7 · answered by saylavie2u2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I had to deal with it for a very long time! As sson as he got into bed touching me all over like it's ok to wake me up after I've worked all day! Come home cook and clean the house! You end up tired at the end of the day! You don't always say no, but they certainly do get an attitude when you say it! My ex actually accused me of sleeping w/other guys! Of not loving him etc. Girl, you are not alone! I have friends that have been married for yrs. and their husbands don't even touch them anymore! Funny thing is we're the lucky one's!!
2007-01-26 04:38:43 · answer #8 · answered by Maria C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wish my husband was like that. He has no sex drive and can go weeks without until I beg him for it. He isn't cheating and he isn't distracted by work or other things - he just has no drive. I am the one that acts obsessed with it in my marriage LOL.
You need to explain to your husband that you can't hump like rabbits all the time. That you need rest and you are stressed. Don't reject him when he is right there ready to go, but when he isn't (like that) sit him down and tell him how you feel about it and ask if he can cut out a few times. Also, if you are okay with it, tell him that you don't mind if he needs to go "take a shower" if you aren't in the mood.
2007-01-26 04:57:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
i also have 2 kids and have been where you are now.depending on the age of your husband and yourself he wont always be this demanding.i'm 33 and my husband is 31.a few years back he was at his sexual peek and i was just exhausted from giving birth,sleepless nights etc....the more he pushed me for sex the more i didn't want to do it.now,a few years on,i have a much higher sex drive and feel much more sexier.now he is very thankfull for what he gets and when he gets it.try to comprimise in the meantime,make one night or more if possible romantic.get in the mood,wine,dinner,lingerie etc..give him a little taste of what is still to come,make him worship you,seduction is the key.keep him interested but make him appreciate you.don't feel you have to meet his demands because your afraid he will look elsewhere,if he's gonna stray,he'l do it anyway.use your feminine charm,take some control back and he will be eating out of your hands in no time.it won't be easy at first,stick to it,i did and its working for me.i'm enjoying every minute and i feel sexier now than ever.good luck x
2007-01-26 06:23:11 · answer #10 · answered by nicola d 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋