My life gets worse after I am married? What should I do?

Question

After I gets married, my life completely change. For the first month, everything was so cool and my husband was sweet and all that. However, later I start to feel like I am the one doing all the house-works. I go to work from 8 a.m to 5 p.m, then when I go home, I cook, I clean house, I take the trash, I pay bill, wash clothes. Sometime I feel like run-out-of-energy. My husband doesn't do anything at home. When he comes home from work, he just sits down and watches T.V. Sometimes I feel like I am his slave; I feel like : the only thing that I get out from my marriage is s-x. I feel like my husband does not care for me anymore. Ladies, have you ever felt this way after you gets married? Do women have to do all the chores at home? Question for men: How do you feel after you gets married?. Also, what can I do to improve my situation. I know that the first thing I should do is talk to him how I feel. Any other suggestions? Thank for your help.

Answer 1

I am a man and I do my fair share of the household chores. Even though we both work, I still cook, clean, do the laundry, pay the bills, etc. I do this because I love my wife. You need to sit down and talk to your husband about helping you out.

Answer 2

Yes, we women do ALL of that! Didn't u read ur "marrital handbook" the preacher gave you? A womans job is: EVERYTHING to now include full time job! or at least 2-3 part time jobs! Plus have the kids, raise the kids, cook, clean, trash duty, bill pay, errands, social engagments, planning vacations, etc ALL this so the man can say "what a GREAT husband I AM" "I go to work, that makes me the provider, that's more than I can say about _____" "You take care of ME, & I'll take care of you". HA! Dear, you are only getting sex if that's what you feel. ANY man who doesn't at LEAST take out the garbage is emotionally immature. A mamma's boy! Any man who agrees that a woman is to do it ALL is also emotionally immature/mamma's boys! A grown man knows his wife is his partner, not his slave. Of course in the beginning it's the wife who lets him know what she is going to do for him as well as what she will NOT do. Set the rules of respect asap. What to do? Leave ALL his stuff out of your routine till he realizes "hey, hon, where's my underwear?" "Oh, sorry sweetie, I didn't have the time to do a load of ur laundry, I was busy doing the dishes, cooking, paying the bills, taking out the trash, working outside the home, etc". Perhaps he'll get the picture. lol Mine did a couple loads of laundry after that! We've been living together for more than 3 years now. I divorced the disrespecting azzhole who thought women were slaves! This one doesn't help out every day but he does do the gross stuff like suction out the water in the basement, build the extra bedroom for his son, sit with me at night & watch chick flicks while telling me how much he loves and appreciates me! He tells me how beautiful I am, that he is lucky to have me, why am I with him when I can have any man I want, etc. He's full of compliments! lol So if nothing else talk ur man into sincerely complimenting u SO much that u won't mind doing 95% of the chores! Good luck!

Answer 3

Sit down and divide up the chores. You cook... then he takes out the trash. He doesn't take out the trash... you don't cook. You need to get this settled now, or you will start to really resent him... and eventually you won't even enjoy sex. Also, don't think you can have a perfectly clean house every day when you are working 8-5. So what if the clothes pile up for a day or so? What if the house isn't sparkling all of the time. Some days, why don't you come home from work, put up your feet, and watch TV too.

Answer 4

I am newly married and went through similar problems. I explained to my husband that I would really appreciate his help around the house because I work full-time also. He agreed that was fair, but still I was doing most of the work. I found I have to be very specific with my requests - like "honey, will you please do the dishes before you go to work today?" or "honey, would you please take out the trash tonight?" I also give him a chance to relax after work before asking and try not to come across as nagging, complaining or blaming. If he doesn't pitch in though, you can go on strike and don't do any chores until he complains the place is a mess. Then explain it's too much for one person and say let's clean it together.

Answer 5

Girl first of all, if you do all the Chores, hes gonna let you. Sit down with him and have a good talk. If you both work, you both need to share the Chores. Make a list for him and yourself. If you do the cooking, tell him he has to clean the kitchen afterwards. Its not fair for you to have to do everything. Marriage is a two way street. My fiancee and I have been living together the last 5 years. he was very much like your husband when we first met, but We changed that. I made a list of things for him to do each day, and he does them. Women are not slaves and should not be treated as one. Stick to your guns gal, if you allow him to sit on his butt and you do all the household chores, hes gonna let you...

Answer 6

marriage destroys relationships. people don't understand this. in order to survive being married, you have to find a new way to live with each other. things are never the same after you say i do, it may take a while but they will change. i think this is why there are a lot of divorces, because people don't understand what kind of responsibility marriage holds.

i would talk to him. this doesn't sound like a need to divorce situation. there is a solution. tell him how you feel and he may change. maybe he didn't know how you felt before. communication is the key.

Answer 7

#1 YOUR LETTING YOUR HUSBAND GET AWAY WITH DOING NOTHING!!!

#2 BIG mistake!!! You need to put your foot down and say hey I cant do this by myself. I work too. As a married couple you two should be a team it takes two people to make a marriage work.

#3 YES you need to talk to him badly. You NEED to tell him that you feel like he doesn't care about you anymore. Stop washing his clothes he can wash them. You two should split the bills, He needs to take out the trash sometimes too. Let him cook sometimes or why don't you two cook together and do the dishes together afterwards?

#4 This problem all has to do with COMPROMISING AND COMMUNICATION.

Answer 8

I feel bad for you that you only feel like you are getting sex out of marriage....especially for the ironic fact that a woman can get all the sex she wants WITHOUT being married!

You two should have talked about roles and responsibities BEFORE you got married. I think your situation is totally UNFAIR! If we work full time too, what makes a man think we should do EVERYTHING at home????

DO NOT have kids with this guy unless he makes some DRASTIC changes.....or your life will REALLY be hell!

Answer 9

well, u do need 2 nip this in the butt now, before it turns into the habbit. if he still does not change, he must just be lazy. when i first moved in with My man, the same thing happen. i asked to help and he said he would. but never did. so i got pist left all his dishes in the sink di not clean up after himself, and forgot to pay his cell phone bill as,and a few other chores. i guess he realized he was lazy and messy, then one day i got home and everything was clean, and i got 2 watch tv. so now he does a lil more to help out.

Answer 10

YOU are allowing him to act this way. NO WAY has this ever happened to me. I have been married for 11 years. In the beginning we shared all the housework, now that we are older, have kids etc, we have a maid. After work, I go to the gym then come home, eat and cuddle with my hubby. He pays all the bills and our off time from work is just that.......off time to enjoy life and each other.