What do you write in a card to a couple who had twins and lost one?

Question

The babies were delivered very early and one passed away after 2 days. The other one is on a good road to recovery. I want to write something poetic and hopeful.

Answer 1

buy 2 cards....a congratulatory one for the surviving twin and a sympathy card for they one they lost. It is a difficult situation and words never come easy at a time like this. search deep within and you will find the right words to say. My twins were delivered early because one was dying, when they were born I almost lost the healthy twin, thankfully they both pulled through. I would have appreciated a card for both occasions though, if one had not! Below is a poem I found for my brother when he lost his son. Hope I have helped somehow. Good luck saying what you need to say.


GODS LENT CHILD
I’ll lend you, for a while, a child of mine, God said.
For you to love the while he lives, and mourn for when he’s dead.
It may be six or seven years, or forty-two or three.
But will you, ‘till I call him back, take care of him for me?
He’ll bring his charms to gladden you. And should his stay be brief.
You’ll always have his memories, as a solace in you grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught below, I want this child to learn.
I’ve looked this whole world over, in my search for teachers true,
And from the folk that crowd life’s lane, I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love, an not think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to take, this lent child back again?
I fancy that I heard them say “Dear God, thy will be done.
For all the joys this child will bring, the risk of grief we’ll run.
We will shelter him with tenderness; we’ll love him while we may,
And for all the happiness we’ve ever known, we’ll ever-grateful stay.
But should the angels call him, much sooner than we planned,
We will brave the bitter grief that comes, and try to understand.”

Answer 2

First of all, you must be a very compassionate person to understand that this is a bittersweet time for your friend. Many people overlook the death of a twin because they think the parents should still be overjoyed by the remaining child.
Make sure your card is exactly what you say - poetic and hopeful. Make sure you address the baby who died, in addition to welcoming the other baby. You might, depending on your or your friends' beliefs, want to remind them that their remaining child has an automatic guardian angel. Make sure you say that you will always remember the other child. Sometimes parents feel like the only ones who grieve over a baby lost so early.
Good luck to you and your friends.

Answer 3

I would try to write something about how great God is to bless them with being parents and letting them know that love but that God must have needed a tiny little angel. That's really sad, my cousin went through this a few years ago. Things like that are hard to understand the reasoning but I do believe that all babies go to heaven and hopefully your friends have faith in God so they realize that they will see their baby some day.

Answer 4

That is so sad. I lost a baby girl at 21 weeks...not a twin though and my husband and I received a lot of nice cards. Just write in the card that you are sorry for their loss and that you are praying for the remaining twin's recovery. Be there for them, but don't press them to talk if they are withdrawn.

Answer 5

hard to say. very bad delima. i would say, send a congrats card, you have to celebrate the birth of children, they did have 2 and thats a celebration. very sad that the one did not make it, but they did have 2 days of having twins. its a very hard time for them. maybe, if you attend a church or some religious type place, send a prayer card from that church. they will add the child in a service and say a prayer for jesus to watch over them. that would a wonderful thing. but if thats not what your into, get them a small gift for the lost baby, even though if your not religious, you can go to a catholic store and they have plaques or poems for the "ones taken to heaven too early", that i think can touch even those who are not religious. but i would celebrate the still living, its a beautiful thing they have, and they should focus on that, but never forget what they lost. i know it will be hard for them to only have the one with them, but they should not let their sorrow rain on their celebration. my heart bleeds for their loss. im so sorry

Answer 6

my hubby and i lost a baby he was buried 3 days after his birth and i would recomend that you congradulate and express your sorrow in a short statement it is extreamly hard to get over the death of a baby and they need support and kindness right now
maybe we are so sorry for your loss of your baby and we congradulate you on the birth of your baby the road you will jorney down although tragic will be filled not only with sorrow but also joy as your special baby with always have his/her own angle to protect her/him and keep him safe god bless
i am in tears good luck support is the answer it's so hard i can't put it in words

Answer 7

Well gee whiz it's a death in the family and they're probably really reeling with it. I would stick with just a condolences card. I would include a present for the new baby. Also offer your services as an ear to talk to. They have to be quite confused by alternate feelings of joy of their new baby and sadness over the death of their other baby.

If they are Christian or have that type of upbringing you can give them a copy of C.S. Lewis's "A Grief Observed" It is all about how angry he felt when his wife died and his struggle to reconcile his pain over it with his belief in God. Quite poignant.

Answer 8

Two cards: one of sympathy for the child lost & one of congratulations for the birth of the one doing well.
This acknowledges both sudden occassions in their lives & the emotions tied to them.

Good luck & God Bless.

Answer 9

thats a tough one. maybe send two cards, one of condolences, and the other AFTER the first, congratulating them on their surviving baby.

Answer 10

Honestly i dont think a card would really be helpful, you being there if they need you and giving support is the bast thing. Having ppl send sympathy cards and stuff just makes it worse and reminds you every second that you lost you child. If you do write somthing i would just put, "I'm here if you need me day or night, please let me know if i can do anything."