Let me first explain what's going on. I have moved back home from working 5 years as a cytotechnologist. I lost my job from low work load, but was offered a great job in Honolulu, HI. I had a moving company that was going to ship all my one bedroom apt. furniture there for me and my car. Another moving company were going to find me a place to stay but my mom told me to come home. It's true, it would have been far away and with having my two year old with me. So I have been back home for 5 mths collecting unemployment, and still maitaining a loving long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I have gone from 155 to 111 pounds due mostly from my overcontrolling mom and have gotten really bad sores on my back from nervously picking that get larger. I want to be with my boyfriend , my mom says it's no way I am going to be with him and she suggested placing me in a rehab because of how I'm looking. Most of the stress is caused by her and trying to say do this and do that.
2007-01-26 03:49:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Honest opinion:
Don't blame everything on your mother. You had a good opportunity and decided to listen to her and come back when you didn't have to.
Why can't you go move in with your boyfriend and have him support you while you find a job?
If not you should atleast go to a temp agency and get some sort of temporary job taht you can old until you get a full time one. This is because with a temperary job you will be able to develop enough money to move out of where ever you are living with your mother and hopefully that will lift alot of stress off your back. The worst thing you could do is sit around and do nothing, it is not hard to go to a temp agency. They will make you a resume and find you a job.
2007-01-26 04:02:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a grown woman, a woman with a valuable job skill. I know it's easier said than done - especially when you're already coping with a two year old! - but you have to get control of this situation. The first step might be to find a job so that you can afford to move out and support yourself and your son.
This is important not only for your health but for your son's. If you're so stressed out that you've lost a quarter of your weight in five months and you're picking at sores, it's going to be hard to provide a healthy environment for your son. You've got to take care of yourself, both for your own good and for him.
I don't know where your mom is getting the "rehab" thing unless there's more to the picture than is clear here. Over the long term, seeing a therapist might be a good idea to get to the bottom of the issues with your mom - whether they've always existed, whether they're exerting a subtle (or not-so-subtle) control over your life, and so forth.
If there's a library handy, check out the books on narcissim. There are several specifically about having parents who are narcissistic, and how to cope with it. They might at least help you feel less alone and give you some ideas. Some that I know of are:
"Children of the self-absorbed: a grownup's guide to getting over narcissistic parents"
"Trapped in the mirror: adult children of narcisssists in their struggle for self"
And on narcissism in general:
"Why is it always about you?: The seven deadly sins of narcissism"
Also, why not check back with the company in Honolulu that had the job and ask them if they've filled it? You can tell them that your personal situation didn't work out after all, so you're free to move. The worst they can do is say no!
Best of luck to you and your son -
2007-01-26 04:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by IrritableMom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a psychologist, but if you're stress is caused by living with your Mother, than the answer is move out of your Mom's house. I am not sure why your mother doesn't want you to live with your boyfriend but ultimately you are an adult and can and must make the decision what is best for you and your child. In order to move out, you'll have to get a job - so start looking. The employment office that you collect checks from, should help you find employment, but start checking the newspapers, online job sites (Monster.com, Careerbuilder, Yahoo Jobs,etc) and get a job to support yourself - once you are earning your own paycheck you are in charge of yourself! Then find a place for you and your child whether it is your own place or moving in with your boyfriend.
2007-01-26 04:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by aelissam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you say you area sturdy individual. And that there are quite some sturdy those which aren't to any extent further Christians. you're top. yet Jesus is the in uncomplicated words way! he's the reality, and he's the mild! In his be conscious he says that no guy can come to the daddy except by potential of Jesus. Do you do not forget that God in heaven, our holy king, humbled himself and made a human body for himself and got here to earth to stay a existence as a youthful guy basically to be brutally murdered for OUR sins! definite OUR sins... And your analogy of someone murdering you, properly... definite that individual might want to pass to heaven, if and on condition that they extremely commonplace Jesus, and were sorry. imagine about it this way, Sin is sin. No sin is larger than the different. Murdering isn't any different from the crude and questionable language you used even as typing this question. i'm no longer declaring that i'm perfect, neither is any Christian in this international. the in uncomplicated words perfect guy ever to stay change into Jesus himself. What i'm declaring is that all of us make blunders, on on a daily basis foundation! this is why we are saying sorry and flow on. we attempt to no longer repeat the sin and that is the most perfect he can do. we are human, this is why we've Jesus! the variety of tremendous variety of human beings have this false impression of God. they imagine he's out to get us, even as truly, He loves us a lot, and he basically needs us to love and settle for him.
2016-10-17 03:31:11 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? Jesus why are you letting your mom control you life? You're old enough to be a mom yourself so it's time to take control. Just tell her you love her very much and you understand that she's trying to do what's best for you but you are going and go. Even if you should be in rehab that is not her choice to make. We give birth to our children, we don't own them. You're an adult for goodness sake, get out of there.
2007-01-26 04:03:00 · answer #5 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not only hurting yourself by letting your mother control you this way, but what about your child? She is gonna effect him/her just as much if you stay. You already know you are in a bad situation. You have experience and you have an education. Stop worrying about what mom wants and start worrying about what your child needs.
2007-01-26 04:06:03 · answer #6 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes a tip for you... its really sad that your mom would be this way BUT GET AWAY FROM HER. dont listen to what she has to say, and its really hard, but sometimes you have to break yourself away.. you have a son and a guy you love, start a new family with them, distance yourself from your mom... all the negativity she causes you is doing great harm, so please, i know its hard, but you need to rid your life of negative people.... in time, if she really really loves you, she will see what she was doing and come back to you., and if not, well, its probably better that way the.. and what kind of person is she... . your son is still young enough to not know any better... and really if she is crazy then its best she isnt around your son to demolish his life to... im sorry you cant have a perfect realationship with your mom, but maybe you will in time if you distane yourself and get her out of your life for awhile.. trust me, i know it would be hard, but its really the best thing you can do right now. good luck
2007-01-26 03:59:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if you are above age limit you do not have to do anything that you do not want to do....in fact you can go and report her and tell them that she is abusing you mentally...i would...if you want to be with someone then there is no way i would let someone stop you...you need to get healthier and get your life back...quit picking at your back or go to the doctor for it....explain to someone who has some control what is going on with you and they will understand
2007-01-26 03:58:56 · answer #8 · answered by LUCKYGIRL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh... just leave already. You're 18 aren't you?
2007-01-26 04:04:55 · answer #9 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋