My sister is in the process of separating from the dad of her 2 children (2 year old and a 1-year old). She is not getting along with him and does not want the kids to see their dad (he's been an ******...not to thekids but to her)..and whenever they meet they argue.
What in experts view is good for hte kids? That they don#t witness an argument between their parents or would it be better not to see their dad until the situation is settled between the two?
Also...if parents argue...do children as little as 2 to 3 year olds kinda understand something wrong is going on? Can it leave emotional scars?
2007-01-26 03:08:06 · 2 answers · asked by modernlifeisrubbish 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes it can be traumatizing for the kids. They do not need to witness those arguements AT ALL that is why they are not together anymore. Maybe they need a go between for visitation, someone neutral to do dropoffs that will not let that happen in front of the kids. The kids still need to see their father and have a relationship with him. But she needs to watch for signs that he is saying bad things about her to the kids, because that happened to me when my ex couldnt talk to me anymore, he started saying things to the kids and now he cant see them AT ALL (court order) until he gets mental help. But she should try to be fair and give him a chance, just dont involve herself in it.
2007-01-26 04:03:41 · answer #1 · answered by Tink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, to all of the above --- children automatically believe that when their parent argue, it is the child's fault!!!... It also makes them extremely insecure, since it is the parents upon whom they depend for support, care, food etc. It makes children emotionally very fragile. Those involved in a divorce should under NO circumstances share those negative feelings between the parents in front of the children.... the marriage is between adults, and as such, children are not included.... no parent should EVER bad-mouth the other in front of a child. Neither should they argue in front of a child....... it gives the child the impression that this type of behavior is normal.... and those children grow up to believe outright arguments in relationships are not only normal, but expected!!!
Emotional scars???Oh, hon, big time.... to the point that those children may not ever be acceptable partners as adults....And these parents were likely raised in this type of home as well, and are about to pass it on to the now third generation.
The two of them need to agree, that in front of the children, their conversation will be cordial, kind, and passive... they can save the cat fight for later.... and as an aside, the two of them need a session or two in counseling to learn to do that... the future of the emotional security of their children is at stake
2007-01-26 03:54:54 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋