help me!!!!!!!?

Question

Why is it that people always say that I'm only book smart not a social and situation solver smart?
help...What should I do??...I don't want to be called like that forever..But the thing is I'm always nervous and insecure about social life and problem solver so I'm always ended up like It's only first time I do this kind of thing ...

Answer 1

I was that way, too...at least through my twenties. It's frustrating to be that way, because one always feels clueless as to why one doesn't get along with others, understand where they're "coming from," or even why one seems to have offended them when no offense was intended.

Still, though, given that you're no "dummy," you have the smarts to overcome this, IF you put some effort into it.

First off, realize that most people automatically assume that everyone else is exactly the way that they are: They assume that everyone else wants the same things in life and has the same values that they do--or that they SHOULD! ("Of course" everyone wants to be slender and beautiful, wants to get married and have children, believe in God, go to Heaven, care passionately about sports, make a lot of money, have lots of nice things, and be very popular--just to give a few examples of such assumptions.)

If you realize that almost everyone has these unexamined assumptions, then you can start to understand their P.O.V., and you can start to get along better with them. I'm not saying that you should CHANGE yourself or even that you should pretend to be like they are; just understanding others is enough. After you've done this for a while, you can start to develop your "emotional I.Q." (which was called "E.Q." in a popular book a while back--maybe you can find it in your local library): You will become more intuitive and gain more self-confidence in social issues. In the meantime, the best way to not offend others is to remember this famous old saying:
"It is better to remain silent and, perhaps, be thought a fool than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt!"
IOW, stay low-key for a while, until you've gained some "E.Q.," and people will at least feel neutrally about you instead of actively disliking you.

Once you're ready to come out of your shell, the best way to express your differences is to first acknowledge the validity of others' feelings. Instead of saying, for example,
"I think football is stupid!" you might say, "I know that football is really exciting and important to lots of people. If it weren't, then people wouldn't be spending millions of dollars on it," [in this way, you're acknowledging the validity of their feelings], "But I have to say that football has never appealed to me," [you're expressing your feelings and being true to yourself].

Answer 2

Well you said it yourself. Your always nervous and insecure about social life and problem solver. The thing is you have to get a social life and get out into society before you even attempt to become a problem solver. It is OKAY to be book smart so do not take offense to that. Believe me sometimes it is alot less headache to be book smart and you make alot more money!! If you do have the desire to be a problem solver and seek to understand people better you must go out and socialize as well as sit and watch people. Sometimes just watching people is just as important as talking to people. Listening and learning is very important in the problem solving process! Good Luck and do not be nervous or insecure. I am not sure of your age but it takes both book smart and many years of life experience to be a good problem solver. And sometimes those that think they are problem solvers and are telling you your book smart DON'T HAVE A CLUE!! So i wouldn't listen to what they are saying. Do what you need to do that is best for YOU!

Answer 3

I've always taken it as not having many life experiences. My best friend in the whole world I deem as "book smart not street smart". She's always been very intelligent but put her in a social situation or as a problem solver even at 33 yrs old I don't think she'd be able to find her way out of a wet paper bag. But we love her. By the way she is senior corporate accountant

Answer 4

Find someone who can coach you through everyday events. It should be someone you call a friend - who you trust - to walk with you through, say, a month's of your every day decision making/socializing and help you make the adjustments you feel are necessary.

Have that person work with you to realize that "the opposite of self-confidence is self-consciousness.achieve self-confidence, then, all you need to do is get rid of your self-consciousness. But how? How do we get our attention off ourselves? Easy — by putting it somewhere else. And the easiest way to have your attention on something else is to have a purpose of some kind...Accomplish a goal. Make up a goal if you have to. Do you want to get rid of your self-consciousness? Put your attention on an aim. To have self-confidence, have a purpose."

Learn how to understand the problem, but don't get wrapped up in WHY you are this way. Learn to change your negative thoughts and behavious and finally, learn to develop more positive beliefs behave proactively.

Listen there are just some people who are socially awkward and who get a little paralyzed at the thought of making decisions and undertaking things themselves. If it's any consolation, if you combat it, with your book smarts, you'll end up ruling the world - look at someone like Albert Einstein or Bill Gates.

Answer 5

My mother-in-law was kind enough to welcome me to the family by informing me that I was "very intelligent but" had no Common Sense. It's just a put-down. I was too green to know it so I let it torment me until I divorced him!! HA!! Check out the Q&A above for Sociology. There are some really smart people here if you don't mind getting your feelings hurt once in awhile. That happens because you feel weird or touchy that day so you just put your head down and go forward and keep on moving!! Why put yourself down when there are soooo many people able and willing to do that FOR you?? Good Luck!! @8-)

Well I'll be darned!! Some of those people sitting on my head are awfully smart. Life experiences sounds right to me!! A-OK!!
I'm all for Living!! Go for it!! @8-)

Answer 6

What it means is that you have the education but not the hands-on experience. Sometimes it's difficult for people out of college to get hands-on experience since most employers want you to start a job "running" (with experience). Whatever your specialization is, somehow get experience in it (time on the clock), even if you have to start your own business and do it. Most people get experience by some teacher (in that same field) who supports you by letter and asks that you be given a chance. Or that teacher gives you some work to do or some specialized research to do outside of the classroom for pay.

People get rid of their nervousness and insecurities by "doing" the job, and with each success those nerves and insecurities become less and less.

Answer 7

Some people are book smart and some are street smart. A lot of the times, book smart people don't have a lot of common sense because it's all about textbook answers.
Meet new friends, hang out in the cafeteria instead of the library. Don't dumb yourself down, just explore different avenues of meeting people.

Answer 8

I read some of your questions and see that you are in college. I am similar to you in that I am in a job where I have to socialize and I am not comfortable with it. I am attending college myself and found speech class to be extremely intimidating but also extremely rewarding. You need to slowly put yourself into those uncomfortable social situations and learn to deal with your emotions, fear and reactions and in time you will hone those social skills. You can do it. Good luck.

Answer 9

Book smarts=good living $$$$. Be clueless while you use your brains for a great education and a good job. Don't let anyone put you down- they are just jealous because you are smarter than them.

Answer 10

They are trying to tell you that everything you have learned is theory and you are using that theory to solve your problems.
There is nothing better that experience and you only gain this through time, you do not stop learning when you leave school, you continue to learn every day of your life.
Don't worry too much, just learn by your experiences and good luck.