My boyfriend and I of 3 1/2 years ago broke up. I was raped in October, and that put alot of stress on our relationship. I was upset and moody and kept alot of things to myself, because people thought I was just feeling sorry for myself all the time. But then when I didn't tell him everything, no matter what, he got mad. But other times he would tell me it's getting to repetitive, to quit repeating myself. I gave up on myself after to much stress just before Christmas. I stopped my counseling, and my bipolar medication. And now Chris has given up on me too. I have restarted my counseling and meds to get him back. To make him see that I will try again, that I didn't realize what I was doing before, like pushing him away and stuff. I have pleaded with him to come back. But instead he said we'll go on a break for a month, see eachother every 3 or 4 days, and not see or sleep with anyone of the opposite sex what so ever. I don't know what to do. Does this means he's just waiting to see if
2007-01-26 02:39:20 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
things get better? Does he still care? Fell free to e-mail or message me if you want more details because they don't all fit........sorry
2007-01-26 02:40:01 · update #1
And I did shut alot of people out, and had a hard time trusting people. I did trust him, but didn't know how he would react if I told him all the things that were on my mind you know? I've talked to him about how I feel, and thats why he came up with the we're on a break thing
2007-01-26 02:41:22 · update #2
I am not using my rape to get sympathy from people. Don't say that. My life in general just isn't good right now. I hate my family. They're never there for me when I'm in need, only when they want or need something. I have had an extremely hard life. I was raped by one of my fathers employees when I was 11. I am now 19, but it brought back the pain I went through then as well. I need Chris here at this time. I'm not doing my counseling for him, it's for US! Not everything in my life is for him. It's for both of us, to make us stronger and happier.
2007-01-26 03:02:24 · update #3
You need to heal yourself for you not for some guy. But if you are using the rape as an excuse or just to get sympathy from people you also need to stop that.
There is this really old and really stupid saying about if you love something set it free if it comes back to you blah blah blah if it doesn't it wasn't meant to be or something like that. it applies to you and your man. good luck
2007-01-26 02:58:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that what he suggested was a really good idea. You guys need some time a part. You especially need some to recooperate, you need time to get over that horrible incident and find yourself again. And the only way to do that is to concentrate on getting better, taking your meds doing your counselling, and trying to fit back into an everyday "normal life".
He's just giving you the space that you need, and maybe you should thank him for that. I hope you both remain faithful to each other and I wish you good luck on your road to total recovery.
2007-01-26 10:48:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're been raped - that is so mindturningly horrible, that it isn't surprising that you're upset and moody. You're not feeling sorry for yourself - and I think you need someone stronger than Chris to rely on. And I think that person is going to have to be yourself. You don't mention family. I hope they are there for you. Go back to your counselling and medication. For yourself, not for him. You've gone through a life destroying situation and you need time to get through this. You will, because you're strong. But allow yourself some time to heal. Be kind to yourself.
Good luck.
2007-01-26 10:48:45 · answer #3 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow..words from the mouths of babes..listen to Phoenix..impressive advise
she is right, you need to have time to heal from this assault.you don't say your ages, but this is a hard thing to handle for you and for him. you say you have promised to remain faithful while you are taking a break, since he still wants to see you every few days, he still loves you but is also confused.
hopefully, your counselor is helping you, and the meds might be what you need for a little while.
you need to accept the fact that this animal who violated you is to blame, not you.
but as Phoenix said, you need to forgive him. i find when i am traumatized, i will sit and write the person a letter, saying everything in my heart. then i burn it, to let the feelings go. sounds silly, but when i write, i release the hurt.
i hope your family is there for you.
sending you healing thoughts and prayer for you both.
blessings
2007-01-26 11:07:55 · answer #4 · answered by darlin12009 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you should give him the outs cause he is not there in your time of need and you're giving up these things most needed in your life for him. He is blocking your progress by putting you on hold and not wanting you to have no one else. Consider some things and get your life back together.
2007-01-26 10:58:36 · answer #5 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
look im only 16 years old, but i have seen this happen to my friends, it does suck very much, but dont let it get you down,
keep taking the bipolar meds, and councelling, show him that you will be fine. but also you have to forgive the person who raped you. if you never forgive people you will never beable to live your own life. by not forgiving them, you give them power. you dont deserve to let that person have power over your life. i know it doesnt even seen like you should even consider it, but think of it as a task. you are doing it for yourself. you need to be able to be happy with yourself again. everyone deserves to be happy. especially you. god wants you to be happy. i have a song you should listen to
its by a woman named INDIA ARIE
and the song is called WINGS OF FORGIVENESS
its amazing. anyway i hope it gets better, and if you need someone to talk to you can message me
<3 Pheonix
2007-01-26 10:52:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i feel like if this boy Chris really cared about u...When he found out u got raped that should have been the time he should have been tryin to comfort u.....And if u r havin a problem in ur life and u kno u need help....U shouldn't just give up on urself like that....And if u r goin to get help u shouldn't do it because a boy..Do it for urself..Seriously.....
2007-01-26 10:47:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
first things first you got too do it for you not him or y'all but for you ...you got to love your self and get your self together before any one else can ... get it together then show him the new you ..if he loved you to start with then he will fall head over hills for the new you .. you can do !!!
2007-01-30 04:55:30 · answer #8 · answered by GEN-GEN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋