Ok, to start off I have a great 4 year relationship with my boyfriend. We haven't broken up during this four years and we truly love each other. I'm 16 weeks pregnant with his baby. I was diagnosed at 10 weeks with Diabetes Type 1 (nothing to do with the pregnancy) and the doctor's said since I didn't know I had it during the critical first 10 weeks...which is so highly important for internal and skeletal developement, that there's a 3-5% chance of defects. I'm so scared and worried and feeling guilty about this all. I nervous to be pregnant because I just want to have a normal and healthy baby. Well, my boyfriend told me straight up that if the baby comes out with any defects, he's blaming me straight up. It just adds to my nervousness and asked him how he could be so insensitve (because he's normally not like that) but he says, "well, it will be your fault because I have no health conditions that directly would affect the baby" I cried because I was so hurt...was he wrong?
2007-01-26 02:37:04 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Well, I agree with some of the other comments made that your boyfriend is probably scared. When a woman becomes pregnant, the couple generally imagines a perfect little bundle of joy.
You might consider finding a support group in your area so that you can discuss your fears with other expectant parents.
Your boyfriend was wrong to blame any potential defects on you. He could easily be carrying a gene that would cause a defect and not even know it.
The American Diabetes Association web site has a page for adults who have recently been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Perhaps that would be a good place for you to go since they also have a link to a message board.
http://www.diabetes.org/recently-diagnosed/type-1-adult.jsp
I was told during pregnancy I had a high risk of giving birth to a baby with Downs Syndrome, but my daughter doesn't have it. Your Doctors had to tell you of the risk because it is a possibility, but it's not inevitable.
Good Luck!
2007-01-26 03:07:02 · answer #1 · answered by Andrea F 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok he sounds like a dick. I mean for him to say that is truly unsensitive. It wouldn't be your fault..and don't let him tell you that. You can't help that you have diabetes..it's not like you are doing drugs and there is a chance for a defect. You truly can't help it. 3-5% isn't a big percentage at all either. If they told you like 85% then I'd be worried. I mean of course you're going to be somewhat worried but it's not a big percentage and I bet that baby is just great! How does he know that he doesn't have some genetic link that would cause a problem with your child either?? I'm sure he doesn't and his genetics could be to blame as well. Not that anyone is to blame..it simply can't be helped but well, I think you get what I mean with that. Don't let him talk to you like that and make you feel that way because he is wrong. Like I said there could be persons' with down syndrome or genetic deformities that he is unaware of in his family that he could pass on to the child. I'm sure your baby will be healthy and beautiful!! Try not to worry yourself (I know easier said then done) but stressing out too won't be good for you or the baby. Take care of yourself and enjoy the pregnancy! I wish you the best of luck and hope your boyfriend comes around soon with issue.
2007-01-26 03:47:37 · answer #2 · answered by ktpb 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have wasted the last four years of your life with a jerk. Leave him and do not look back. You do not need the stress of him blaming you for something that was uncontrollable. It is not your fault that you did not know. By the way everything is more than likely fine because the doctors don't even test for the diabetes that you get when you are pregnant until week 28. I know you have type 1 and that is a different kind, but still it is diabetes. Talk to your ob and discuss what has been happening and they may be able to ease your mind when they do an ultrasound or something. Don't worry about him he is just another jerk *** guy.
2007-01-26 02:45:54 · answer #3 · answered by mommy of two 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That was very insensitve of him and I would be deeply hurt. You need to tell him that you need him to be supportive and not an A-- at the time you need him the most. I hope that this isn't an indication of how he is going to treat you and the baby in the future. Have a talk with him about this and tell him how hurt you are and obviously you would have never done anything on purpose to have an unhealthy baby. By the way I am pretty sure that the baby will be perfectly healthy I know plenty of people who have had diabetes and have delivered healthy babies. Good luck!
2007-01-26 02:45:11 · answer #4 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
of course he is wrong because even though he doesn't have any health condition that does not mean that if something is wrong with the baby it would be from your side, may be his parents or his grandparents have some health problem that your child can inherit. plus you should not worry too much. eat healthy and take your vitamins daily. don't tress over things that are not there yet. I have friend who had diabetes during her pregnancy and after. Her baby came healthy nothing wrong with the baby. you said it 3-5% chances of defects. thats nothing if the doctor told you it was like 30% then you should worry. all you have to do is wait. I know its very hard, but thats all you can do.be patient. when we are pregnant all these crazy thought comes to our mind. You should over come those fears.
2007-01-26 03:12:22 · answer #5 · answered by itah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he was wrong! Sure, if you were drinking or doing drugs during your pregnancy, that's a whole different story. But you are not. Type 1 Diabetes is when your body can no longer produce insulin on it's own. You have no control over that! It can happen to anyone.
Don't let him treat you like sh*t. You do not need that added stress right now. Take care of yourself and your baby.
I really pray that everything will work out well for you and your baby. And with only a 3-5% risk, I think that everything will work out fine.
Good luck!!
2007-01-26 03:42:50 · answer #6 · answered by Chewie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off it is not your fault at all.It is wrong for your boyfriend to blame you for anything that happens to the baby.I am 17 weeks along with my second baby and I worry all the time.It has been 2 days since I felt her move.Is she sleeping or did she just move positions?I did the same thing with my son.I think it is just how us mother feel when we have to carry another life inside for 40 weeks.And just hope and pray that went it is all over that the baby will be heathy and we can enjoy the first minutes of life when we hear they cry.I feel for you sweetheart and I will pray for you.Just try to think positive.Take care.
2007-01-26 02:52:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes he was wrong to blame you! Diabetes is not a Choice and not something you Did to harm your child. Now that you know follow closely with your doctors recommendations and the chances of defect are small. Good luck and stop blaming yourself.
2007-01-26 02:44:18 · answer #8 · answered by abbersmomma 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it is common to get apprehensive approximately those issues in the course of being pregnant, extremely as a popular time mom once you're staring on the unknown and have no theory of what to anticipate. that's a super existence changing journey, it is absolute to go away you feeling a splash under pressure, yet you are able to in basic terms do lots to coach after which will desire to comprehend that what would be would be. attempt to maintain your concerns rational, remember that targets are actually not actual and that on a similar time as they might reflect your fears for the destiny, they don't unavoidably teach the fact of the way it will be for you. Take a super form of time to loosen up. Being under pressure continuously isn't sturdy for you or the toddler. effective heat baths and a rub down from the dad to be can help, so can looking a sturdy distraction as a results of fact the previous woman stated, like bypass sewing, knitting, or a sturdy e book. something which you savour and makes you experience sturdy and comfortable. slightly training won't harm. talk with different mums/your human beings and family contributors/midwife and ask for some suggestion on how they coped. examine some books for an theory of what to anticipate. do basically not overdo it or take all people's be conscious as regulation, you return to a determination whilst your toddler comes what works for you, yet having an theory of what techniques are attainable and what to possibly anticipate can help to alleviate that urge to do something useful in training. final of all, toddlers do not choose ideal mom and dad who get each little thing ideal all of the time. For one element, this form of guy or woman is a figment of the mind's eye, all human beings is mistaken and not something is ideal, yet for yet another element, toddlers do advantageous with mothers who love them and who do the main suitable that they are able to.
2016-12-16 17:48:17 · answer #9 · answered by sollers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you want to spend the rest of your life with such an ignorant person?????? It's not your fault to have diabetes, and don't even think about defects. Learn to love yourself and forget of that idiot!!! Go to all of the prenatal appointments, take your vitamins, eat healthy, and you'll see that everything will just turn up fine.
2007-01-26 02:51:51 · answer #10 · answered by flrt4fn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋