with one of the barmaids she left this pub and went to work in other in the town. I found text messages on his phone from her and he was sending them back ie were they would meet up for a drink.
I asked he about this said there was nothing in just friends. he said he would give up this so called freind for me. which I said YES because she flirts with him and does not care who is about even ME. all off a sudden he starts to keep his mobile phone on him yet again never lets it out of sight until last night. were I found more text meesages from her and him to her. He does not know I looked at his phone so when I asked him if he had broken his promise to me about this he said NO which I know is a lie cause I seen the text. told me I should trust him and that he would never have affair. what do you guys think please be nice cause I am very upset about this
2007-01-26 02:35:12 · 45 answers · asked by jambo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are more questions to be asked, and they may guide you into finding your solution to this.
Almost every human (man and woman) is looking for a monogamous meaningful and satisfying relationship, you may find your relationship with your husband satisfies your needs, but he is obviously missing something that he needs, so he reaches out to find it. What is he missing ? (hints : intimacy, feeling of trust and empowerment, a loving wife who supports him when he needs it )
You loved each other for some time, how often do you really communicate openly about feelings, fears and issues together ?
Who opens up first ? How much time are you willing to devote to save your relationship ?
Most importantly : DO YOU LOVE HIM ? Do you really LOVE him as a man or do you love him as you love your dog or your cat ? If so, this man is looking for true love, respect, friendship and consideration, not just a sexual fling.
You need to remember the old saying : You need to allow the ones you love to leave you, if they come back, your mutual love was meant to be, if they don't your love was not meant to be.
Only honest answers answers to these can guide you through these difficult times.
Good luck and courage.
2007-01-26 03:31:25 · answer #1 · answered by Alain G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you can't change a person. Your husband certainly sounds like he's having an affair. Since he keeps lying about it, perhaps you should try some counselling. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. My father was unfaithful to my mother many times (and while she had cancer) and I know how painful it is. Confronting the bridesmaid would only make things more difficult, so a counselor is your best bet. If he refuses, you might have to fess up about seeing his text messages again. If he gets angry at you, it is because he is hiding something, not because you invaded his privacy. There would be no need for such anger if nothing was found. I hope things turn out better for you.
2007-01-26 02:42:38 · answer #2 · answered by keonli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this, but he is most likely having an affair. I went throught the same thing with my wife. She denied the whole thing and said he was just a friend. Then I found the emails and text messages, and the truth became clear.
Does he have an email account? I would try to check that as well. How long have you been married? Any kids? If not, I would strongly consider leaving him unless he is willing to change his ways.
He has already lost your trust, and for good reason. As much as you want to, you will probably never trust him 100% again because of what he is doing. That is not healthy for a realtionship.
I wish you luck!
2007-01-26 02:39:17 · answer #3 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It doesn't seem like he's being honest at all...if you found another mssg. I would have just told him when he lied to your face..that you found another mssg and that he's full of it*
or
try to follow him.....and catch him right there and then* Go with what your gut feeeling is telling y ou> If he's lying you need to confront him straightup ......I can understand how hurt you are right now and upset......Unless you catch him with the other woman...or confront him again on the mssgs on his phone....then not much else you can do* other than leave him and let him know you wont sit around while he's having an affair and lying right to your face* What kind of a marriage is that??
Sorry*
GoodLUck*
2007-01-26 02:45:03 · answer #4 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is lying to you and you wonder what to do? He's getting text messages from another woman and you wonder what to do? Confront him. Tell him that yes, you went behind his back and checked his phone and know that he is still in contact with this other woman. He is cheating on you in his heart even if he is not having sex with her. You deserve better. Tell him that you want him out of your life because you will never be able to trust him again. Will you hurt? You bet but it won't last forever. Dump him.
2007-01-26 02:42:42 · answer #5 · answered by Poohcat1 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think elaeblue has a very good answer.
It will be painful, as most everything you have worked toward emotionally may be gone, but it's better than dealing with a lie.
You could go to the bar sometime, and ask her about her and your husband. If she flirts with him while you are around, and doesn't care, she likely will be honest with you. It is quite possible it's not what it seems, but it's not likely. Trust your instincts. your first impulse is usually the right one.
2007-01-26 02:54:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him with the facts. He lied and continues to do so. He may not yet be having a physical affair but he will. He is at least having an inappropriate psychological affair with this barmaid.
2007-01-26 02:42:50 · answer #7 · answered by SA Writer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man I am sorry for your pain! It doesn't sound good. I would question him and let him know. If you are willing to stay then tell him you want honesty. You deserve atleast that. It will hurt worse when you find the truth if he is indeed cheating. I would follow him if he is not honest whith you. Or if he tells you that you are being overbearing or anything that he says to try to take the blame away from him. I hope it all ends well for you. Good Luck.
2007-01-26 07:47:00 · answer #8 · answered by cherristee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that your husband is having an affair but he does need to stop seeing the other woman. If she is flirting with him then I would say that she is wanting to start something. If your husband had any respect for you then he would end this friendship before it is too tate. I would not put up with it myself. Try going to the place where they see each other and see for yourself what is really going on. Don't let your husband know what you are planning-just go there yourself.
2007-01-26 02:47:20 · answer #9 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not trying to be mean...but why snoop, when you know you'll be upset, yet at the same time don't know what to do about it. Why set yourself up for the aggravation.
You are obviously upset that he has a female friend that you don't know and he keeps her a secret, therefore you find it deceiving. Only question is can you live with that or not. This isn't about him anymore, the ball is in your court. You need to decide what YOU WANT and act on it.
2007-01-26 02:42:34 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋