Me and my husband have a daughter who will be 2 on Feb 10th. I really wanted my kids to only be 2 years apart but it looks like it is too late for that now. He doesn't want another kid right now. He doesnt even know if he ever wants one again. He says it is too much work. But I really want another baby. And I really don't want my kids to be too far apart in age. What can I do to either get myself to live with his decision or to change his mind? I am on the Depo birth control shot. I hate it because it has made me gain weight. But it is the only birth control that my husband trusts and he keeps making me get it even though I want another baby. I know I should respect that he doesnt want another baby but it makes me sad because I do want another one. I only want 2 kids. It's not like I want 10.
2007-01-26 02:11:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I dont know why this question was posted twice
2007-01-26 02:13:30 · update #1
children are all hard work no matter how many you have however you need to talk to your husband and explain you want one more child and thats it and ask him why hes so set against not having any more? if your husband is still se agianst not having anymore you need to ask yourself whats more important another child? or just having the one you got? do you love your husband and do you love him more than the idea to have a second child ? make some hard decisions
2007-01-26 02:22:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I went through this with my husband after I had a miscarriage he didn't want anymore or to try again and I desperately wanted another one. You need to sit down and have a very deep conversation with him as to the reasons why he really doesn't want anymore. Could it be financial or what is it, you need to find out exactly. Men are different than us they think about everything like college, weddings everything and they think that it all rests on their shoulders. You may want to explain to him that you really dont want your daughter growing up as an only child. This can really drive a couple apart so try to get it resolved for your daughters sake. I spent a year resenting and being upset with my husband but I finally ended up seeing his point of view and I had twins anyway so it worked out for me. I am now glad that I stopped at two. Good luck with your situation.
2007-01-26 02:31:35 · answer #2 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just curious, why didnt the subject of how many kids you both want come up before this? you said he says its too much work, does he do alot of caring for the child you do have, if so maybe you could discuss that you would take more responsibility for the child and when the baby comes you will do more to help eachother so no one person has to feel overwhelmed, this is definitely a difficult situation and i hope you two can come to an agreement, good luck.
2007-01-26 02:32:45 · answer #3 · answered by domsmom701 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are other birth control options. You have to ask yourself Did I know this going into the relationship. If you did then you can only ask him to change his mind and live with his answer. If you didn't then you may have got into this a little to Hasty. And you may have to live with the consequence of that. But going off birth control and letting it happen is wrong and if you even consider this your a bad person.
2007-01-26 02:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by Stacy w 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't keep pushing the issue. You can try to talk to him, but it seems like he has already make up his mind. You two should have talked this out before the 1st child came along. Now, you two are at odds over it. Children can be a handful, some people just don't realize that until they get here. I wish you well with this.
2007-01-26 02:39:00 · answer #5 · answered by tigerprincess_bee 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have u tried.. telling him how u feel? how important it is to u and that after the second u will have ur tubes tied to ensure that , thats it.. but that u 2 and u dont want a huge age spread? What are his concerns? financial? or just that u have a child going through their terrible twos or getting ready to and he's thinking that this lasts forever????
Find out his deep issues on it and find away of making a good arguement for all his reasons.. using facts.. I think he's probably going through new daddy blues.. late night feedings, diapers changes having to watch every move they make at this age make sure they dont stick anything in their mouth, and making sure they dont get hurt ect.. but they do grow out of that stage..eventually lol.. Really talk to him.. really try to get through to him how important this is to u as a woman to have 2 children.. find out why his reasons are what they are..and try to see if u can fix the problems he's having.. with it.. but if he stands firm , u have to decide if u can live with his decision or not..
Last ditch effort.. its ur body .. get off the depo.." let him know ur unprotected".. and if he wants sex, that he's going to just have to take his chances lol.. jk..
2007-01-26 02:29:35 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him, but don't pressure him. If you want another baby explain to him the reasons why. Set a time table, maybe in one more year you can start trying. Ask his fears why he doesn't want another child, listen to his fears. MArriage and parenting requires 2 willing people.
2007-01-26 02:18:42 · answer #7 · answered by Muslimah 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have a somewhat odd relationship, but if it works...
Thank you for being honest and not doing what we read about so many women doing - acting like they are listening and then just doing what they want anyway and conveniently "forgetting" to take their birth control.
"Opps - I forgot again. SIlly little me. Ooops! We're pregnant!"
You've got to talk it over with him but he sounds quite controlling. Why you both don't have an equal say is weird.
2007-01-26 02:27:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well first of all, did u all discuss this before u all got married? how many children did u all discuss?
have u tried counciling, either professional or through your church?
to me you have made your feelings clear to him...talk to him again and let him know that you want one more child..and that him refusing you is hurting you and your marriage...if he still refuses you have a couple of choices, love and cherish your only child...or, go off the shot so he doesnt notice and get pregnant behind his back, i know this sounds bad, but if you just want two children i dont know why he is having such a big deal over it..it isnt like he has to carry it for nine months or go through the labor.....
good luck.
2007-01-26 02:20:09 · answer #9 · answered by luvutaz1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to just sit down and talk about things. This should have been something you discussed before marriage, if you did bring that up when talking to him. A relationship is about communication...you should both come to an agreement.
2007-01-26 02:19:59 · answer #10 · answered by Jules Angel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋