How can I solve this marriage problem? Read more...?

Question

Me and my husband have a daughter who will be 2 on Feb 10th. I really wanted my kids to only be 2 years apart but it looks like it is too late for that now. He doesn't want another kid right now. He doesnt even know if he ever wants one again. He says it is too much work. But I really want another baby. And I really don't want my kids to be too far apart in age. What can I do to either get myself to live with his decision or to change his mind? I am on the Depo birth control shot. I hate it because it has made me gain weight. But it is the only birth control that my husband trusts and he keeps making me get it even though I want another baby. I know I should respect that he doesnt want another baby but it makes me sad because I do want another one. I only want 2 kids. It's not like I want 10.

I dont know why this question was posted twice

Answer 1

Listen to him please or you will surely end up raising two kids alone.If he says he doesn't want another child,respect his wishes for whatever his reasoning,he at least told his truth.You need to do something other than dwell on that and take this time to spend with your child you have.When these kids grow up they aren't always so cute and cuddly so one child could be enough .Maybe much later if you and your husband have been together for a while ,maybe then he may want another,so what if the ages will be far apart,that makes your job much more pleasant.Slow down and take notice of your child you have,soon he or she will be more than enough.

Answer 2

Take some time before bringing up the topic again otherwise it will seem like nagging. If you don't like the shots, then stop taking them and look for another alternative that wont make you gain weight. He should not be the one in control of your body. Try and make sure you don't get pregnant now or he may use it as an excuse to leave you. I do agree with him, babies are alot of work. Give him some time maybe when your daughter turns 3 or 4, he may agree to have another baby. As for now, he still sees your daughter as a baby and adding another one will be too much work. Good luck.

Answer 3

I understand you want another baby, but you have to ask yourself if you put the health of your marriage first or do you put what you want first?

If your husband is not ready or willing to have another child, then why even consider it? By persisting to get your way in this, you threaten the harmony of the family structure of the child you DO have. Another baby would mean more pressure for your husband, and your marriage may not survive it. Plus, by persisting in your desire to have another child, you are disrespecting and discrediting your husbands feelings.

You can deal with it by loving the child you do have and realizing that some people are not so lucky to 1.) be able to have children, or 2) unable to afford children even if they had them.

Please do not try to change his mind. Your husband is capable of judging how much domestic stress and work he can handle, and if you "changed his mind" he would only be doing so to make you happy or keep the peace.

Although children are a blessing, they are not life's only blessings. Don't get caught up in baby fever and risk the harmony of your family by doing so.

Answer 4

It's a hard decision, maybe you should tell your husband how much you want this other baby. Sit down and have a clam talk, don't finish the dicussion until one of you convinces the other of what is best.
It's ok to have your kids 3 or 4 years a part too...maybe your husband needs to take care of some financial issues before another baby is added to your family.

Anyway, good luck

Answer 5

You should sit down and tell him your feelings about it, and tell him that if he doesn't want you to go through the actual pregnancy, ask him about adoption. You can adopt a child who's not that much older, and you won't have to go through the 'baby' stage.

I also can't see why he doesn't want another baby. Even though they are stressful, he should still welcome the idea with open arms. And you shouldn't get the birth control shot if you don't want to. He's not the leader of your body.

Answer 6

Have you tried telling him how much you want another baby? I have two kids and they are alot of work. Give it some more time and maybe he will change his mind. I wouldn't go off the shot and get preg. if he doesn't want another baby though. He might resent the child and treat him/her differently.

Answer 7

Your husband should not "make" you do anything to your body you don't want too. The pill is just as effective, and gaining weight is unhealthy, unless you are anorexic. You have to decide a couple of things, are you willing to deceive your husband in order to conceive? Do you want this second child or your husband more?

Answer 8

Nobody on the face of the planet is going to solve this problem for you and your husband. It is going to have a be joint decision between the two of you, and the two of you only.

This much I know: having another child does not solve problems in a shaky marriage...it only adds to the problems.

My advice: measure twice before you cut once.

Answer 9

My late husband didn't want a second child either.......But God has something else in mind......Concerning the Depo shot.....girl you need to come off of that......it has male hormones and you may end up growing facial hair and other crap......sometimes it can mess with your personality....mood swings get worse......

Answer 10

A baby needs to be a subject that you both agree with. Give it some time and maybe he'll change his mind.